Friends: The problematic plot lines that have not aged well

Friends is still a cult hit more than 17 years since its last episode. It starred Courteney Cox (left), Matt LeBlanc, Lisa Kudrow, Matthew Perry, Jennifer Aniston and David Schwimmer. Photo / Getty Images

The world has been hit with a fresh wave of Friends-mania in the past week with teaser interviews and a trailer dropping for the upcoming Friends reunion special. Fans everywhere are greeting each other with "how you doing", we are wondering if it could BE any colder and the debate rages on: were Ross and Rachel really on a break?

While there is much excitement, nostalgia and giggles of glee about the return of our Central Perk crew, it also brings to light some less than positive memories.

Through a 2021 lens there are a few episodes and moments that are unforgettable for all the wrong reasons. From homophobic overtones - including Ross's near-pathological hatred and intolerance of his wife's new female partner and the use of Chandler's "gay dad" as a punchline on many occasions - to sexual assault set up for LOLs and lots and lots of fat-shaming, Friends has more than one moment that feels very uncomfortable when we binge it today.

The one with all the fat shaming

Throughout the two-part episode, "The One That Could Have Been" in season six, we get a glimpse of what life would have been like for Monica if she hadn't lost a lot of weight. The portrayal of "Fat Monica" is so problematic it is hard to know where to start. Firstly the fat suit that Courtney Cox is wearing is incredibly cringeworthy. Then there is the fact that she is portrayed as a 30-year-old virgin because, of course, no one could possibly want to sleep with an overweight woman. Monica is also portrayed as being insanely possessive of her food, as though an overweight person must eat constantly, and that's funny. (Spoiler alert: it is possible to be overweight and actually eat well and exercise regularly).

We also see "Fat Monica" ridiculed for the sake of laughs in the episode "The One with the Prom Video" where, once again, Monica is seen eating. The gang are watching an old home movie, shot by Ross and Monica's Dad and it is, of course, hilarious when he has to work out how to zoom out in order to get all of Monica in the shot. Then comes the real rim shot moment when Joey yells "some girl ate Monica". So funny when friends humiliate each other isn't it?

The one where Paolo gropes Phoebe

This moment was particularly disturbing as it perpetuates the myth of the "happy ending" that exists for masseurs as well as being more focused on exactly the wrong problem in the aftermath. In case you need a reminder, Rachel was dating Italian hunk Paolo, played by Cosimo Fusco, for a while during season one. Paolo was hilarious as English was his second language and therefore often made grammatical errors in his speech, which were ridiculed for good measure and giggles. There was also a lot of joking about how "manly" Paolo was as he was overtly sexual and had lots of chest hair.

In this particular episode he goes to see Phoebe at work to get a "massage" and he starts by disrobing without being asked to, exposing himself fully, then groping Phoebe's rear end. The reaction from the entire friend group focuses on the fact that it will be a hard situation for Rachel, rather than the fact that Phoebe has been sexually assaulted and should be exploring her legal options. Rachel then dumps Paolo by dramatically throwing his clothes off the balcony and, again, the assault on Phoebe remains unaddressed and we are all just focused on how sad Rachel is. Break-up pain is awful, for sure, but this episode seems the get everything back to front.

The one where alcohol addiction is funny

Does everyone remember fun Bobby? He was a guy Monica had previously dated and then, in season two, they got back together. All of the friends are excited by the return of "Fun Bobby" who is the life of the party, in more ways than one. Monica and the gang start to realise that Bobby's "fun" personality comes from a bottle and encourage him to give up drinking.

With his newfound sobriety Bobby is not so fun, which is totally hilarious, of course. I mean, people with addiction problems are well known for being a barrel of laughs during their long, difficult recovery. Sober Bobby is taken to extremes - for laughs of course - with his entire ability to converse with others completely eroded. Instead, he tells a very unfunny story about looking for a hammer after midnight. Addiction recovery doesn't instantly remove your sense of humour as far as I know. For people who have battled addiction or who have family members who have struggled with it, this story arc is very, very triggering. In an ironic twist Bobby ends up breaking up with Monica as he thinks she has a drinking problem, when in fact she has been drinking to tolerate being with him. Again, really funny huh?

The one where Kathleen Turner plays Chandler's dad

When Kathleen Turner, with her incredible husky voice, played Chandler's Dad in season seven, it seemed pretty funny or at least not overtly offensive. However, when you consider how few gay characters were portrayed on television at the time and couple that with the fact that Turner was depicting a transgender character, it all starts to get a little incorrect. In fact, the whole subject of Chandler's father being gay is treated like a horrible and scarring moment in Chandler's life, as though someone being gay is an absolute tragedy. There are lots of references to Chandler's dad wearing women's clothing, dropped at the perfect time for comedic effect. Then, in season seven, in the lead-up to Chandler and Monica's wedding we meet him, albeit portrayed by Kathleen Turner as transgender. No one in the show seems to have any idea what the correct pronouns should be, with Monica referring to Turner's character as "Mr Bing". Okay, so the line dropped by Morgan Fairchild - "don't you have a little too much penis to be wearing a dress like that" - is undeniably clever, but it is clearly a very offensive thing to say to someone who identifies as transgender. Monica's dad also awkwardly comments: "I've never seen one before" in relation to meeting Chandler's dad, as though a strange species one might find at the zoo.

Essentially the portrayal of Chandler's dad interprets drag queens and transgender as the same thing and even Kathleen Turner herself has said she would turn down the role if she was asked today.

The one(s) where Ross is homophobic

Ross is a very problematic character when you look closer. He is manipulative, passive aggressive and incredibly negative, all of which become simply annoying traits when compared to his homophobia. The worst example of this is his attitude towards his ex-wife Carol and her female partner, Susan. Ross is openly vindictive towards Susan and constantly seeks to undermine the legitimacy of their relationship. During the entire story arc of the triangle of Ross-Carol-Susan you very much get the impression that Ross views their same-sex relationship as inferior to what he had with Carol and treats her lesbianism as a phase she will hopefully grow out of.

Overall the same-sex relationship is played for laughs based almost solely on the fact that it makes Ross very uncomfortable, which is just bad. Ross is also well known for taunting Chandler for his supposed femininity, making sure that the eager viewer knows that being thought to be feminine, or worse, thought to be gay, is very, very bad indeed.

The one where Monica's lover is in high school

In season one, Monica pretends to be 22 when she meets a very young-looking man. They sleep together and then he seems just a little too thrilled in the aftermath and it comes out that he is actually 17. The whole encounter is very icky, which, coincidentally is the reason Monica gives her high school heartthrob, Ethan, to stop seeing him. We agree, very icky. Although their hook-up was technically "legal" there are some very problematic issues of consent raised by the fact that they both lied about their age and were therefore unable to give an informed decision about having sex.

The one where child endangerment is funny because boys will be boys

This episode is so bad on so many levels. Not only do Joey and Chandler use Ben as a tool to pick up women (because all women literally lose the plot over babies, it is a medical fact right?), but they leave him on a New York bus. Add to that the fact that when someone assumes that they are a gay couple, Joey gets really freaked out and uses the word "heterosexual" on repeat and things start to get very uncomfortable. Then, when they finally track Ben down, they are unable to identify him, with no memory of what he looked like or what he was wearing. But that's funny, because babies are a female thing right? Why would they trouble themselves with paying attention to the details of the child they have committed to looking after? They end up tossing a coin to work out which baby is Ben, which is so not a big deal, boys will be boys (*pauses for canned laughter*).

The one(s) where Joey is trying to manipulate women into sex

Joey is a very funny character, in spite of his fairly toxic approach to women he is laugh-out-loud funny, largely due to Matt Le Blanc's talent for physical comedy. It is very hard to get past the fact that Joey views women in two groups - those he wants to sleep with, and those he gives no thought to at all. His misogyny is usually explained away by his supposedly low intelligence, but it really perpetuates some very toxic stereotypes of men.

Joey is elevated to a position of power over Chandler and Ross due to his ability to "get" women, which is just so wrong. One particularly worrisome plot line is when Chandler is moving out and Joey is looking for a roommate and his advertisement reads: "Wanted: Female roommate, nonsmoker, nonugly." There are also multiple times that Joey, Ross and Chandler discuss ways to "trick" women into having sex with them.

But hey, maybe I am overreacting, exploitation of women is still funny, right?

Having ranted for so long I have to admit that I do still enjoy watching Friends and I will be watching the reunion from my own couch, over-sized coffee mug in hand.