Forward thinking: Oh boy, what glitz

Keisha Castle-Hughes. Photo / Getty

Having been in this job for just under a year, and so being fairly new to the magic of film and television, I was fascinated to see how the whole glitzy world translated to the red carpet and the Civic Theatre on Saturday night for the Qantas Film and Television Awards.

Especially as it was during the storm "the size of Australia" was blowing trees on to cars and mascara on to chins - would it be the year of the gummies and windbreaker? No, apparently the year of the negligee. And bare feet.

So there I was, sitting in my pretty dress with the naughty kids in the back row for the ceremony. I was conveniently located right by the door so I could see who left the theatre, at what time and with whom, and whether or not they returned. Dun, dun, dun.

I watched as some of the ladies who had little but their skin to protect their bones from the air conditioning dashed in and out of the theatre, probably trying to warm themselves by climbing inside the hand-driers in the loos (or perhaps by other means).

My suspicions about the bare-footed Stephanie Tauevihi (remember her as Donna Heka on Shortland Street?) who did not return after she won best supporting actress in a film for Russian Snark, were quashed when I found her hanging out in the media room, getting photos taken with Taika Waititi after another one of his acceptance speeches equating the shape of trophy to female private parts. Yes, his own vagina monologue.

The media room was brightly lit and I couldn't hear the audience's responses to Rhys Darby's gags, so I headed back. Turns out I probably couldn't hear them because members of the audience were recording the night on Twitter, intently typing LOL @ #qfta into their electronic devices.

So yes, Darby embarrassed himself by running across the stage in his underpants and business socks, but it was not as embarrassing as the international talent who won the illustrious best actress in a film prize not showing up to collect her award, nor organising anyone to accept it for her.

That's right, while there were some glowing pregnant ladies in flowing dresses at the awards - Jaquie Brown and Pippa Wetzell to name, well, two - there was no sign of the apparently preggers Vera Farmiga, star of the much-derided The Vintner's Luck. Looks like she couldn't bunk off the Toronto Film Festival or was advised not to fly.

Fortunately our faithful Keisha ("before there was a boy, there was a girl" to quote Darby) broke the silence by running up on stage to grab the award. "Well, it looks like no one from the film is actually here, so, um, I'll take it!" she said, before hurrying out the back. She was actually nominated for best supporting actress for the film but lost out to Tauevihi.

Perhaps now the poor, trampled Vintner's is now a QFTA (Qwafta?) winner, people might hire it from the DVD store. And they might also watch the TV series that took out so many of the awards on Saturday night - The Cult. "Perhaps I should see that show," murmured many of the glitterati as they walked from The Civic to the drinking hole, the Town Hall.

They might also want to watch Maori Television's Kaitangata Twitch, starring George Henare, who was named best actor in a television series.

Just as an FYI, I actually found it hidden among Air New Zealand's inflight entertainment when flying back from Melbourne the other day. It made me jump, and that made my co-passengers snigger.

As well as winning, Henare deserved to win best-dressed male for actually tucking his shirt in and best speech for his eloquent acceptance. It was a vast improvement from say, Marcus Lush, who thought it was funny to dress as the scarfie he portrays in his reality show South.

Show some respect for those who bothered to paint their fingernails or craft their hair into a mohawk - people like James Rolleston and Te Aho Eketone-Whitu. The young Boy actors may not have won their categories - Tony Barry trumped Rolleston in the lead actor category and Waititi knocked Eketone-Whitu out in the best supporting actor category - but it was their night. They had the most star power at the after party, especially after cranking some hip-hop moves when the Patea Maori club performed Poi E at the end of the awards ceremony.

It was, of course, the year of the Boy and it was contagious. Even the single award for Go Girls went to a boy.