"I wasbartending at the Holiday Inn in downtown Denver in about 2004 and it was a really slow night. We had a policy that we would stay open until at least midnight, and until 2 if there was business.
"There were two people in the corner of the room who had already paid and were on their last drink. I started closing up the bar when a short lady with long curly hair walked in and ordered a drink. I poured it for her.
"I asked where the lady had been. She said, 'The Fleetwood Mac concert.' I said, 'Oh they were a really good band back in the day. Did you have good seats?' She replied, 'I was kind of on stage.' I quipped, 'Cool! Did you win a radio contest or something?' She wearily replied, 'Something like that.' She ordered another drink. I said, 'I'm sorry, we're closing.' She looked kind of hurt, paid, and walked out.
"After closing the bar I walked home and turned on the TV. It was tuned to Paladium, which was a channel that broadcasted HD concert. Coincidentally, there was a Fleetwood Mac concert on, and singing was the lady I had just kicked out of the bar, Stevie Nicks."
"I saw Tom Cruise on the sidewalk once but I wasn't totally sure it was him because he had a hat on. Apparently he could tell that I wasn't sure because he just looked at me and gave me that nod that means, 'yup,' and then I gave him that look that says, 'oh wow I wasn't expecting that.'"
Alice Cooper
"Alice Cooper was playing a show in my hometown a couple of years back. I was walking into a local establishment for breakfast that morning, and there he was just having a bite to eat with the band. I walked up and said hello and that I am a big fan and was looking forward to the show he was putting on that evening.
"I then realised this guy probably gets the same spiel every place he goes, so I told him to enjoy his meal and that I'd leave him alone. Well, I'll be dammed if that son of a bi**h didn't invite me to join him and the crew for breakfast. We sat there for another hour or so just bullshi**ing. Then like a chump, I picked up the bill."
Meg Ryan
"In Hollywood doing wannabe rock star stuff ... my band found a lady parked on Sunset Blvd with a flat tyre. Since we were all nice boys, we changed her tyre. After shaking hands and saying thanks ... we were on our way back to our van when she came back over with something in her hands."
"At first I thought it was money and was mentally preparing for refusing her cash when she handed me a few 8×10 autographed headshots. It was Meg Ryan. None of us recognised her."
Morgan Freeman
"I was eating with friends in a restaurant in Beverly Hills years ago when I still lived in LA. The tables were really close together and there wasn't a lot of room between the seats. So I had been there for about five minutes when they seated someone at the table directly behind me. The chairs were close enough that the backs could touch."
"The thing was, the person kept trying to push his chair against mine to get more room. Rather than turn around and confront this jackass, I pushed my chair against his. So after I did that, he gets up and walks out."
"I told the people at my table what an a**hole that guy was, that he was trying to push my seat into the table. 'Who, Morgan Freeman?' I looked over and saw a very pi**ed-off looking Morgan Freeman leaving the restaurant."
Natalie Portman
"I sat next to Natalie Portman at a college graduation. She was the most beautiful human I've ever seen.
"The ceremony was really long and outside. She brought a snack with her, some grapes in a cup. She ate them with a spoon. Not even Natalie Portman can make awkwardly chasing grapes around a cup trying to get them to stay on her tiny plastic spoon and not fall off on the way to her mouth look cool."
"I was visiting family in Michigan when I met Eminem. I was given a list of food to buy at the grocery store the night before thanksgiving, so I'm standing there eyeing eggs when I see a guy in a hoodie walk up to the milk."
"I glance at him, then go on about my egg-buying business. He starts messing around with the milk jugs, so I look at him again and recognise him.
"I kind of fidgeted for a minute before I asked, 'Are you who I think you are?' His epic reply? 'If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?' We exchanged Happy Thanksgiving wishes and parted ways."
Quentin Tarantino
"My brother was in Austin for something or another, and Quentin Tarantino got on the elevator with my brother and his buddy. My brother finally asked, 'You're someone famous, aren't you?' Tarantino's response was 'Fu**in' eh' and that's all that was said."
Jane Fonda
"Jane Fonda gave a speech at my middle school, which was weird enough. Then I ended up waiting in line for the gross middle school bathroom with her, which was even weirder."
