Rapper Eve gets up close and personal with the fans. Photo / Mushroom Creative House
The bass is pounding through the walls, Naughty By Nature just walked past with their crew and I'm up on a chair, taping a tablecloth to a makeshift wall.
Someone nicks a couple of giant pot plants from outside Usher's dressing room, we cover the tables, rearrange the furniture and hope for the best.
When our first superstar, Estelle walks in to film interviews, you can barely even tell that - with just a bit of Kiwi ingenuity, a few resources and a heroic Maccas run to fuel us - we've slapped together our entire set at a moment's notice.
Why the hustle? Put simply: ZM's Friday Jams Live is a massive moving beast.
View this post on InstagramI always have the team with me!
A post shared by Fatman Scoop (@fatmanscoop) on
We're talking 150 artists and international crew, including 10 of the biggest names in hip-hop and R&B. And more than 500 staff and 200 security personnel will be at the Auckland event site, which is being built at Western Springs as you read this.
On top of all that, said beast has a lot of ground to cover in very little time. When we catch the tour in Melbourne on a Saturday, they've come straight from a show in Perth the night before and will fly out the following morning for a show in Adelaide the night after so it's perform, sleep, fly, repeat and it's not slowing down any time soon - they'll be in New Zealand by Sunday.
It is hectic to say the least, but whereas the crew are as stressed as anything, the artists are going with the flow surprisingly well.
Salt-N-Pepa exchange high fives with Lil Jon in the lift; Fatman Scoop is walking around shirtless, cracking jokes and asking people where they got their shoes; Usher strolls past surrounded by his posse; Ginuwine is in the stands with his, dancing while Eve performs; Estelle shares her greenroom snacks with me and Eve indulges me in a quick chat in the middle of a hallway.
They really are just hanging out, doing their thing - a thing some of them have been doing for longer than many of their fans have been alive. These are legends of their genres, and the level of stardom and respect is palpable, even if none of them will take it seriously.
Both Eve and Estelle talk about being surrounded by legends and history-makers, although both of them laugh at the thought of including themselves in that. Even Salt-N-Pepa - trailblazers of hip-hop, and in particular, for women in hip-hop - shrug their shoulders and laugh off the praise.
Good music, they all say, is good music. And that's all there is to it.
They're not wrong. Away from all the dressing rooms, catering and star power, there are 50,000 fans screaming their hearts out on the stadium floor.
There is an insane kind of atmosphere, one you won't get at an Ed Sheeran or Taylor Swift show - not yet anyway.
It's the kind of atmosphere you get only when thousands of people come together, united by the songs they've loved for lifetimes, who built memories to the same soundtracks, who have known the dance moves and sung the words for decades.
In a rare festival feat, every single artist is a headliner in their own right. Each of them has at least a handful of major hits that set the crowd alight.
Even the DJs and the filler music between sets keep the party going with throwback tracks and new hip-hop hits and every time you think it's safe to take a toilet break, something will inevitably make someone say "but this is my song!"
Like Salt-N-Pepa say: "Classics are classics, and when do you not wanna hear a classic?"
LOWDOWN:
What: ZM's Friday Jams Live
Who: Usher, Lil Jon, Salt-N-Pepa, Eve, Taio Cruz, Naughty By Nature, Ginuwine, Estelle, Next, Fatman Scoop, Che Fu & The Kratez, Kings
Where: Western Springs Stadium, Sunday from 3pm
This is your first time in NZ - are you excited?
Yes! I'm just excited to see the people, I know it's a big hip-hop country and I'm told it's quite a similar scene to London - people want to hear you do things your way in your accent and your style. I don't know how much time we'll have but I will find a way, I swear.
What can we expect from you at ZM's Friday Jams Live?
It's cool because it's a good chance for me to get out and talk about my new album (Lovers Rock) while being on the road and learning from these legends.
What's it like being on this tour?
You know, there are people who were doing this when I was 10 - they were out here performing when I was still a child so it's an honour to even be on the same lineup. It's good vibes ... amazing.
Any message for your Kiwi fans?
I cannot wait to come and see you, come be at the front of the stage, come turn up - I might not do 1980 but we'll have fun either way. I'd like to do a rap after-party one day where I do it, who knows, I might kick it at a hip-hop club in Auckland and do it then. You never know.
This is your first time in NZ - are you excited?
I can't wait, it's my first time ever. I got offered to come like three different times and it just didn't work out but this is the right time. Trust me, I tried to make it. I know it's beautiful, I'm just excited to check it out.
What's it like being on this tour?
I actually want to watch the show - it's funny, me and my dancers were talking before we came and we were like, "damn everybody on this lineup has dope records, this is the ultimate playlist". If it wasn't for people like Salt-N-Pepa ... I wouldn't be here ... and beyond that, Lil' Kim and Foxy Brown wouldn't be here ... Nicki and Cardi wouldn't be here, you know?
Music is cyclical it changes with the times, it changes with the world but I think always, no matter what, good music is forever, classic music is forever and I think that those few artists will always be around.
Dares led you to change your hair and get your iconic paw-print tattoos - are you still a daredevil?
I am ... even though I'm getting older. I feel like that part keeps you happy - you have to do things that scare you a little bit to keep life exciting, because otherwise you put yourself in a box and we see people all the time who get stuck and I get it, being in a box is comfortable, it's easy, but it's not me.
What's it like being on this tour, touring so prolifically after all these years?
Pepa: We've been in the business for 32 years and the fans still come up, show up and show out and sing the lyrics and that's an amazing feeling. We enjoy what we do and we don't take that for granted, we embrace it and that's what we see from fans like you, so thank you.
Salt: Not in a million years did I think that at my age I would still be touring just as much as 25 years ago. It's crazy, it's gratifying, it's insane, it's surreal, but we really, really appreciate the love we're still getting. When you make timeless music you get to last forever, right?
Did you have any idea how much of a trail these songs would blaze?
Salt: Can you imagine? We were shocking back then. (Laughs).
Pepa: There's a part in our show where we would apologise to the ladies for getting y'all in trouble when you were little for pushing it too good and talking about sex, and all the ladies are like "yes!". We hear that story all the time.
Can we expect any new music any time soon?
Salt: We're actually working on a [reality] show called Ladies Night with SWV so we're looking at a possible collaboration, we're gonna put our toe in the water and see what happens.
Pepa: But for now, no new music. It's the same music because classics are classics - when do you not wanna hear a classic? They never die, even after you're dead and gone, your music will live on.
Any message for your Kiwi fans?
Just thank you and keep showing up and showing out, because you know we will.
View this post on InstagramA post shared by Salt 'N' Pepa (@saltnpepaofficial) on
Gates open: 3pm
PARKING
There is no onsite parking but there will be some spaces on surrounding streets.
There is onsite parking for those with valid mobility permits, but you must email info@aucklandstadiums.co.nz to register.
WEATHER
Western Springs is an entirely open air venue and umbrellas are not permitted so bring a poncho or raincoat if it looks like rain.
GATE SALES
If not sold out prior, gate sales will be available from the box office on the outer field from 9am on event day.
WHAT TO BRING
You can bring small amounts of non-commercially prepared food from home and a sealed plastic water bottle (up to 1 litre) however you will probably have to ditch the lid.
You'll be subject to a search/wanding on entry. Backpacks, bags of a certain size, video cameras, professional cameras, prams and selfie sticks are all prohibited, as well as the usual drugs, alcohol and weapons. See Aucklandstadiums.co.nz/whats-on/zm-friday-jams-live for a full list of prohibited items.
Also, note that Western Springs is a non-smoking venue – this includes e-cigarettes and vaporizers. Prohibited items will be confiscated and will not be returned.
TRAVEL INFO
Travel on the Northern Express (NX2) and direct special event buses from Midtown is included with your pre-purchased ticket. Remember to keep your event ticket for the ride home.
Please note: buses will replace some trains due to scheduled maintenance. Britomart Station will not be in use.
There will be a dedicated five-minute drop-off and pick-up zone on Great North Rd, between Bullock Track and the Grey Lynn Shops.
For further details and scheduling info at https://at.govt.nz/bus-train-ferry/events/zm-friday-jams/
The Kiwi actor has been part of the Star Wars universe for more than 20 years.