Welcome to tonight's recap, an unintentional love letter to Buck Shelford.
Yes, every "daddy Buck" moment we got, my heart grew three sizes and I said "aw". Shelford is the fatherly figure keeping everyone in line, especially Edna Swart, who said her ideal afternoon included two-minute noodles and mayo.
Shelford had to put his dad voice and stern face on and said, "two-minute noodles aren't healthy."
You heard it here first. Shelford does not approve of the trusty two-minute noodles.
Later, he was teaching the kids how to throw a rugby ball, and his reality TV son Chris Parker was living for it. Until Parker decided he had to even out his experiences, so he said "see ya later" to dad, and went to find Swart for a tutorial on Instagram posing.
After some slow-mo, black and white Baywatch walks out of the water, I'm convinced Swart is Megan Fox's doppelganger. As for Parker? A for effort.
Meanwhile Repo captain Lance Savali shared his secret with Joe Daymond and Parker - he has a safe card and he's only going to use it for the people in the alliance, which are the three lads and Brynley Stent.
Daymond grinned to the confession cam. He might seem like an underdog - but don't be fooled, he warned viewers, he has a plan up his sleeve.
At Katipō Angela Bloomfield was scheming once more. Here is your Wednesday night villain update.
Bloomfield wanted to reach out to the other side, but she had a very specific person in mind and cast a silencing spell on Jess Tyson after her suggestions of reaching out to Swart. No, Bloomfield mwahah'ed. It had to be Stent who received the offer because of the thespian relationship they share – they're both female actresses.
Pre team face-off, Repo's resident father and son had a quick chat where Shelford said he wanted to go up for elimination against Barnett, resulting in Parker calling Shelford '"Madonna" and Barnett "Lady Gaga". And when Shelford said, "I don't give a sh*t, none of them scare me at all", Parker almost fainted.
"I'm obsessed with these straight guys wanting to go out like heroes and I just have to remind myself not to get drunk on that masculinity." Same Chris, same.
After a super long lead up to the face-off we finally got there, and it didn't disappoint. It included blindfolded players being instructed by two non-blindfolded team members to navigate a maze and then decode a puzzle.
Katipō still haven't worked out how a team is meant to function. Bloomfield and Tyson were the instructors and they basically shouted at their teammates, got frustrated and well, there isn't much more to say.
Oh except, Barnett said "my worst nightmare is listening to women." I had to hold my tongue, as did every woman in New Zealand and probably the world.
On the very opposite side of the scale, Parker and Stent were Repo's instructors and they got into such a groove that Swart started doing a little dancey dance along to their instructions and when puzzle time came up, Shelford (dad) and Parker (son) nailed it.
"Chris is fantastic, he makes you laugh. He's a bit of a character." Shelford told the confession cam, while Parker told everyone, "I will call my first son Buck, for sure."
This relationship is too much for my heart.
As we near the middle of Celebrity Treasure Island, everyone has started to take their alliances and strategies very seriously, except Kim Crossman.
"I don't have a strategy," Crossman giggled to the confession cam. "I have some friends for life that want to drink wine with me after the game."
You're speaking my love language, Kimmy.
Savali and Shelford took a walk and Shelford said he wanted to be put up for elimination. Savali, the always caring and bigger picture type of captain, said yes, but only if it was safe for Shelford, who said he couldn't do any balancing.
After the decision had been made, Savali grinned and pulled Shelford in for a hug. "You're the man."
Swart said if Shelford can't go, she will and with that, the team headed off to elimination.
Elimination tonight saw Boss Babe and business owner Edna Swart from Repo go up against radio presenter Lana Searle from Katipō.
"She's not fierce like I am, so I looked at Lana like easy prey," Swart told the confession cam, and she wasn't wrong. After a balancing act of a round, Swart took out the win and Searle had to say goodbye.
Katipō captain Tyson pulled out the mercy card and saved Searle from the flight back home. A relieved sigh fell from Searle's lips.
And Swart earned herself some pirate gold. Everyone was a winner today.
Except for Bloomfield, who snuck her alliance note into Stent's hand but forgot to mention to open it alone. Dun dun dunnnnn.
Come back next week to find out what happens.
For all the inside gossip and behind-the-scenes stories, listen to Inside Celebrity Treasure Island hosted by S2 contestant Kim Crossman!