Celebrity Treasure Island is back with a fresh new batch of Kiwi celebrities vying to take home the treasure and $100,000 for their chosen charity.
This year, the show returns to Northland, where the castaways will battle in “Wisdom vs Fury” themed teams with an intergalactic twist.
Hosts Bree Tomasel and Jayden Daniels are also back from April 27 to guide a cast featuring famous faces who have reached the peak of sporting excellence, billions of social media views and endured scandals aplenty.
I joined the cast before they went into camp to get the tea on who is here to make friends, who will become sworn enemies and what they’d call their autobiography.
Who is putting their dignity and reputation on the line for our entertainment? Who will get injured before they even reach camp? And how many of them will fold their arms in their publicity pics?
In the words of Daniels, “Less geddit”, and find out.
In a twist this season, two castaways remain hidden until after the teams first face off head-to-head, where the winner gets their pick of Kaihautū - enter Portia Woodman-Wickliffe and Simon Barnett.
The Tea: The Black Ferns star has two Rugby World Cup wins, two Sevens World Cups, Olympic gold and silver medals, as well as Commonwealth gold and bronze, and a Barbie made in her image. Despite being a chronic underachiever, Woodman says this time it’s game on.
“When it gets to game time, we’re on. That would be a strength of mine. Also connecting one-on-one and allowing people to be who they are.”
She’s known for her speed and skill, but underneath the superstar exterior, Woodman-Wickliffe says she’s just like us. “I’m just myself – my ditzy, passionate, and competitive self.”
She’s got everything it takes to win this game if she can get the huge target off her back.
Title of her autobiography: The Girl from Kaikohe
Predicted placing: WINNER!
Charity: Te Rōpū Wāhine Māori Toko I te Ora
The Tea: The seasoned broadcaster and serial nice guy is looking to add a little spice to his life (as well as your mum’s, as he was spotted filming shirtless) as he returns to the show 22 years after his 2004 stint.
Barnett says he’s been a social recluse for the last six years, caring for his wife Jodi Barnett, who was diagnosed with brain cancer and died two years ago. But the doting dad-of-four says he’s ready to take a leap of faith.
“I adored [Jodi] with every single part of me, so I’ve lost what physically feels like part of me. But I’ve actually got to do this for me. I’ve got to actually do some stuff in my life again, but that’s quite hard. People say, ‘Oh, you get over it, and you move on’, but truthfully, I’m not sure I ever will, but I have to take a step.”
Expect lots of tearful moments, beautiful kōrero with his team – and relief when he gets to head home to his girls.
Title of his autobiography: Si’s Does Matter – I know, I’m as shocked as you are.
Predicted placing: 9th
Charity: The White Matter Brain Cancer Trust
The Tea: The rugby hero is back for a second go on Treasure Island, and he’s ready to show the nation he’s still got it. This time, he’s armed with wisdom, mana, and those famous good looks that could still launch a thousand waka (or at least a rescue boat or two on this show).
Bunce conquered the rugby field in the 90s, but the dad-of-six reckons his decades raising kids have made him the most resilient and ready for a CTI-sized challenge.
“Their trials and coming up through life – it can be wonderful, and it can be scary, but that’s what life’s all about.”
He’s a team player, so when the individual game gets to its final days, he’s likely to be taken out by a strategic player.
Title of autobiography: The Second Coming
Predicted placing: 5th
Charity: Mai Lighthouse
The Tea: She spent 30 years conquering radio airwaves, and now, in what I’d say is the surprise casting of the season, the broadcaster and her larger-than-life personality are crashing down on CTI shores.
Gillespie is your ultimate gal pal and oozes fun – her teammates will be desperate to bunk next to her for the juiciest evening confessionals. But she’s not just here for a chinwag, she’s ready for the challenge.
“I could break a rib or fall off a cliff, but I need to do more things that challenge me and not just sit back and say no all the time.”
Title of autobiography: The Further Misadventures of Polly Gillespie
Predicted placing: 15th – Adore her and want the best for her, but what’s best for her might be an air-conditioned taxi to the nearest Koru lounge.
Charity: Kidney Health New Zealand
The Tea: The funny man and Shortland Street star may be best known for playing Dr Drew, but on a remote island with no scripts, even he doesn’t know who or what viewers are in store for.
“I’m a bit of a wildcard. I surprise myself. When you’re an actor, you often find you’re asked to perform different physical feats, pieces of action, and so you’re sometimes surprised by the kind of things you’re actually good at.”
Barrington’s physically strong, tall and utterly unpredictable. But will he be able to keep up with the wheelings and dealings of younger, more strategic players?
Title of autobiography: Ben There Done That
Predicted placing: 7th
Charity: Heart Kids NZ
The Tea: As Dr Harper Whitley, she lived through (until she didn’t) 12 years of Shortland Street scandals, some involving her onscreen husband Drew (played by Barrington) and some wild cliff-hangers. But in real life, Vandervis is a force to be reckoned with.
Admitting – with a smile – that she’s fiercely competitive and here to see a woman finally take the win, Vandervis gives the impression she would stab a contestant in the back and quote Simone de Beauvoir as she stitched them up.
She wants to show her 4-year-old just what Mum is made of: “I want to make him proud and show on TV that women can do anything.”
Title of autobiography: A Very Busy Lady
Predicted placing: 11th
Charity: New Zealand Cancer Research
The Tea: He’s the TikTok Content Creator of the Year who has gained billions of views online, sharing parts of his life with his wife, three daughters and a baby on the way. Davis is known for keeping it real, living off the land and eating copious amounts of kina with celeb pals.
One of my early casting manifestations, Davis walked into camp and showed instantly he was a big physical threat, towering over the others at 6ft 5. He also wore camo unironically, which means the competition won’t even see him coming when he tramples them on the way to the final.
“I love the outdoors, and I also love competing. I’m a board game fiend, and this game is all those things rolled into one; trying your best, being competitive and working with others,” says Davis.
Title of autobiography: The Moana Fixes All
Predicted placing: 2nd – A game-player who’s lovable enough to get away with murder, he will go very far.
Charity: Te Ora Hou Northland
The tea: This fresh face of New Zealand comedy isn’t living in anyone’s shadow. Sure, her brother, comedian Chris Parker, may have taken the CTI win before her, but now it’s the little sister’s turn to make an impression, and it’ll be one you won’t forget.
Parker is a pocket-rocket who instantly proved she was quick-thinking, competitive, fearless, oh-so likable and has a penchant for a colourful knit.
Describing herself, Parker says, “I’m a gabbler, I love to chat. But I’m clumsy too. Oh, and a bit sensitive, so maybe I’m an empath? I don’t know ... What are other people saying?”
You’re doing great, sweetie.
Title of autobiography: Liv, Laugh, Love
Predicted placing: 3rd – I’d be shocked if we don’t see her with a shovel in hand, digging for treasure.
Charity: The Aunties
The tea: He’s used to calling the action – now he is the action. The TVNZ reporter has seen it all, felt the fear, and passed out while bungy jumping live on Breakfast, which prepared him well for the “anything could happen” element of CTI.
“I fainted, but then I turned it back on for the camera, and everybody had a good laugh about it.”
He’s lovely, he’s sweet, he’s sporty, he will make a fantastic teammate, and a nation of mothers will want him to marry their daughters.
Title of autobiography: Not a Celebrity
Predicted placing: 4th
Charity: Koru Care NZ
The tea: Another one of my early predictions, the Fast & Furious star went from Christchurch to Hollywood, and now is back to drive the women (and men) of Aotearoa crazy.
While Bennett is known for his smoulder, get to know him and you’ll see he is a loose cannon. He’s going to surprise the country with comedy gold, banter and his special skill – roughing it.
When he was 14, he got scared, ran off, slept in a bush, and well ... I’ll let him explain:
“I sat there and freaked out for a little bit and then fell asleep and I woke up at about 9am on a Sunday and just kind of crawled out of the bush and jumped on the bus and went home. It’s just an example of my resilience and outdoor skills,” he says with a laugh.
Title of autobiography: Whoops
Predicted placing: 8th
Charity: Big Buddy Mentoring Trust
The tea: Social media star, mum and one-time media personality of the year, Adams is fearless, funny and totally unfiltered. She’s battled addiction and documented her inspirational journey, but says none of her struggles or triumphs are directly transferable to this game.
“I can’t say, ‘I came out of addiction, so I can beat this’. Bro, you didn’t have to climb over a f******g wall when you came out of addiction. You didn’t have to do an endurance f*****g thing when you came out of addiction. I’m screwed.”
Title of autobiography: Absolutely F******g Crazy
Predicted placing: 10th
Charity: Child Abuse Prevention Foundation
The tea: The beautifully chaotic force of Kiwi comedy is bringing his enthusiasm, big heart, and even bigger personality to the island. Correos is unpredictable, hilarious, and absolutely s******g himself.
“I’m really scared of this show,” he says with a nervous giggle. “But my strength is to make my team want me around, so at least I have a stronghold on the team.”
His pure heart will have viewers wanting the best for him, and seeking vengeance on whoever sees him eliminated.
Title of autobiography: Oh, You Did What?
Predicted placing: 12th
Charity: Christchurch City Mission
The tea: This beauty queen is ready to prove she’s more than just a crown and the pretty face it sits on. She’s strong, fearless, always ready for her close-up and has overcome adversity to get here.
Poole was in a back brace for three years after a severe scoliosis diagnosis, prompting her to launch her own charity, Anni Bloom, to create awareness and community.
“I’m very confident in myself now, but it took me a long time to get there. If I had someone like me that I could look up to [when I was younger], who had scoliosis and was vocal about it, I would have got to this point a lot quicker,” she says.
I made a note to introduce her to past CTI winner and comedian James Mustapic, who was told he had scoliosis by a 54-year-old grandmother named Jill, after she saw him on the show and sent him a message.
Title of autobiography: Sammy’s Story
Predicted placing: 13th
Charity: Anni Bloom
The tea: She is the chart-topping, music award-winning singer behind tunes like Wonderful Life and The Letter. Now, Lines is stepping straight out of the Nashville studio and on to the sandy shores of CTI.
“I just moved to Nashville. So I’m still figuring out what way is up and down and what milk to buy – I don’t know how much two gallons is? Do I need two gallons? That feels like too much milk?”
Ease your milk woes for now, my friend; this island only comes stocked with rice and beans.
Title of autobiography: It’s a Wonderful Life
Predicted placing: 6th
Charity: Tauranga Women’s Refuge
The tea: She’s gone to war alongside Jason Momoa in Chief of War, but she’s trading the battlefield for the beach.
Hinepehinga is chatty, enthusiastic and brings outdoor and cooking skills to the camp in droves.
“I’m a really good cook. I’m a feeder. If you ask any of my castmates, I have a habit of bringing baked goods to set and just feeding people, which was not great on Chief of War with everyone shirtless.”
Barnett, steer clear if you want to maintain that rig.
Title of autobiography: The Wild Thing
Predicted placing: 14th – Nice, but I had to put someone in 14th.
Charity: Unicef Trust NZ
The tea: After bringing the vibes and sweet moves to your social media feed, this cheeky chap is bringing his smooth moves to CTI.
Don’t let that smile deceive you. From what I saw, Keefe’s head was instantly in the game, digging for info on the opposing team and plotting.
His motto if he’s caught scheming? “Deny, deny, deny. I’ll even deny I said that to you,” he says with a laugh.
“My skill is talking. I talk every day for four hours on the radio. I feel like I can talk my way in and out of situations very well.”
Title of autobiography: Harrowing Keith
Predicted placing: 16th – He’s confident enough to handle being the one I pick to be kicked off first.
Charity: Spark that Chat
Jenni Mortimer is the New Zealand Herald’s chief lifestyle and entertainment reporter. Jenni started at the Herald in 2017 and has previously worked as lifestyle, entertainment and travel editor.