A fashionably late farewell to Fashion Police. Photo / Supplied
After seven years of sneering, judging and overstepping lines, E! Channel's Fashion Police has come to an end this week.
For those less familiar with this particular department of criminal justice, each week a panel featuring comedians and celebrities would sit around and judge the celebrity fashion offerings from award ceremonies, red carpet events and even royal weddings.
While some viewers may miss looking at pretty dresses and the folk lucky enough to wear them, I can't help but feel that the cancellation of Fashion Police has still come fashionably late.
I could probably could count on one hand the number of times I watched an episode of Fashion Police in full. Almost all of them were at my wealthier friends' homes, hungover in last night's clothes and wallowing in a puddle of self-loathing.
You have to be in a particularly dark state to be able to scoff at goddess Cate Blanchett's "pasty" skin, or baulk at Kim Kardashian's extravagant sequins, knowing full well that these are some of the most beautiful people on the planet and you are just a schlub, eating Pringles for breakfast.
Much of the show's appeal relied on the late Joan Rivers' crass, controversial responses to the celebrity couture of the week. She could get away with a lot of it too, in the same way that senile grandparents get away with saying casually offensive things at the dinner table because nobody can be bothered correcting them.
Other times, not so much. "This outfit is so young and fresh and sexy," she said of Anna Sophia Robb, "it just screams date rape." In 2013, Rivers refused to apologise for saying of Heidi Klum that "the last time a German looked this hot was when they were pushing Jews into the ovens." Yikes.
Interesting, it's almost as if having a whole show dedicated to judging people on their appearance may lend itself to some problematic attitudes. Where insipid racism and sexism would filter into conversation throughout Fashion Police, other segments were much more overt in their gross intent.
Features included "Rack Report", where celebrities were identified based solely on the amount of cleavage they were showing, and "Starlet or Streetwalker", where the faces of women were obscured and panellists took turns guessing who was underneath. Fun party games for the holiday season.
When host Rivers died in September 2014, Fashion Police was left in the lurch without their firebrand host. She was later replaced by Kathy Griffin, who lasted just seven episodes before quitting, and tweeting a statement that sums up a lot that's wrong with the culture that birthed Fashion Police:
"I do not want to use my comedy to contribute to a culture of unattainable perfectionism and intolerance towards difference."
Earlier that year, host Giuliana Rancic was forced to apologise after making the racist joke that Zendaya's dreadlocks made her look like "she smells like patchouli oil and weed".
In just seven short years, the tide around celebrity culture, women and even fashion has changed considerably. In 2017, the question "what are you wearing?" is now getting met with eye-rolls or Emma Stone's brilliantly dumb-downed response, "My dress is pink and there are stars on it."
We are less concerned with Hollywood's fashion crimes than the actual crimes of its most prominent men, and couldn't give a hoot if Lorde wears a suit on the red carpet.
In her statement of resignation, Griffin said it best. "There is plenty to make fun of in pop culture without bringing women's bodies into it."
Rest in peace, Fashion Police.