Just when I thought it was going to be an easy run through to election day, with all my cliche props neatly lined up next to my drawing board, along comes this ghastly Nicky character, agitating the contents of our political teacup into some sort of scummy-looking froth.
Now, people keep digging me in the ribs and saying "Wow! You've got plenty to cartoon on now. What's your inside take on Dirty Politics?" Of course, I have no inside information on anything any more, never mind a publication of doubtful literary value, that at best, focuses on regurgitating who said what to whom, via the wonders of electronic communication.
Even the media messengers are breast-beating, anxiously wondering if they should have been handing out press awards to a blogger who may have acquired information in some dubious manner.
I felt the matter pertinent enough to darkly remind fellow hacks to "beware of falling into retromingent practices." That obscure term means urinating backwards, a habit practised by some species of ants and other creatures.
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I found Hager's book a tedious read, for once agreeing with a late evening TV presenter that the volume contains, "no plausible king hit". When asked to comment this week, I deflected musing on the supposedly dodgy activities of some of the central players by suggesting I didn't think Hager's effort would make the New York Times best seller list.
Naturally, my reflections are negatively slanted, because as a wannabe author, I'm highly envious of Hager, having never managed to raise a fraction of the media publicity he is enjoying.
The caregiver suggests that if I want his sort of fame, as well as the chance to refill my depleted bank coffers, I should home in on the seamier end of politics and start a blog, as a prelude to publishing an expose.
But when I suggested that perhaps I'd start by befriending local prostitutes to acquire the inside dirt on some of our leading citizens, she replied sternly, "Now let's just hold that proposal right there!"