Diana Clement: Do you have a friend who won't pay their share?

Don't let a night out become a source of frustration over bill payment. Photo / 123RF

We all know that person who forgets to pay their share of a night out. A few dollars doesn't matter here and there. But invariably it's a one-way transaction that happens repeatedly.

Non-payment can build resentment. Tackling the problem can be embarrassing and challenge friendships and family connections. It's an age-old problem that can't be solved entirely, but can be mitigated with technology.

Let's talk first about the human approach. If you're owed money, don't leave it. Keep the communication up. Prolonging it just makes it difficult. Send a text that says something like: "Hey, your share of the dinner last night is $30" or similar.

Try to keep it light. "Just reminding you", or "just checking" are good ways to start a follow-up message. Don't get personal. "You never pay me back" is just going to get heated. The person may have genuinely forgotten, rather than be trying to get away with it.

If that doesn't work, be upfront next time. "It's your turn to pay today." That's better than stewing. Or always make sure you pay half/half, or hand your share to the other person in cash.

Like many things in life, technology can help. Simple tech such as SMS and online banking make getting paid easier. I have all my friends' accounts in my online banking app. It helps me sleep, always knowing I've paid whatever I owe.

Sleeping easier was what led James McEniery to team up with Shane Marsh to co-found New Zealand digital wallet Dosh. McEniery used such apps when he lived in Singapore. After a night out, he'd wake up and transfer what he owed to friends then and there using a digital wallet.

The Dosh app allows one person to pay the hospitality bill, split it, and request payment instantly from the other people, by SMS or push notification. If your friends don't pay their share, they'll get a reminder on day three and day seven.

Apps are quicker and easier than manually splitting the bill and logging onto online banking. Photo / 123RF

Friends then pay directly from their Dosh wallet, which is the equivalent of carrying cash. Another new option is the BUCK app. It also allows one person to pay and then split the bill between friends. Payment comes directly from your bank account to the other person. The BUCK promotional video made me laugh: "Split the bill with BUCK, and watch as the payments roll in. Even Fiona's."

Apps are quicker and easier than manually splitting the bill and logging onto online banking. But they're not an absolute guarantee you'll be paid if the other person isn't of the paying variety.

McEniery admits he has an annual golf trip away where six of seven will pay what they owe at the end of the trip using Dosh. The final person needs to be chased.

At the moment Dosh doesn't allow for complex calculations where different people have paid varying amounts, such as when you've been away for the weekend.

At the end of my regular weekends away with friends, we do a quick tally of who has paid what and split the difference. I discovered the Splitwise app for this on one of our trips. Everyone enters the amounts they have spent, and the app tells us who owes what. McEniery says that following the launch of a Dosh Visa Debit card later this year that there is a plan for this more complex bill splitting.

It's not just the night out for dinner or drinks that can be a problem. People who lend larger sums of money to others sometimes find it's not paid back for issues of honesty, laziness, ethics, or other traits.

If it's a larger loan, and the person has gone quiet, it might be overwhelming. Suggest setting up an automatic payment for now until the person can pay off the remaining balance.

Ultimately nothing is failsafe. You can only ask so many times and for so long. After that, you need to make a decision on whether the money or the relationship and move on if it's the latter.