Broadcaster Paul Henry. Photo / Michael Craig
OPINION:
My airline is failing you. Sorry.
How hard is it to run an airline?
The answer is … like any business, not hard at all.
Almost anyone can do it. If you're reading this you could certainly do it. The trick, the distinguishing characteristic you should strive for in running any business is to do it well.
At one extreme some businesses are run into the ground … dead easy to achieve. And it can be done in quite a tight timeframe. Many are run poorly and perform well below optimum. This usually takes a degree of misplaced effort over a tediously long period. But those that are run well … They are almost always unanimously successful. By that I mean rewarding to preside over, own, work for and support.
Air New Zealand has been - at times over its long and, I believe, largely proud past - in the latter category. It's an airline I have been proud to own, be publicly associated with and have represented my country.
Sadly, like the country emblazoned on its masthead, it's currently, at best, a gross disappointment. So much so, I feel as one of its owners an obligation to offer my apologies … Sorry.
Why can't we employ enough people to answer your calls in a reasonable timeframe? Well obviously we could, we've just chosen not to. Because service is not something we are prioritising at the moment.
Why after so long trapped in New Zealand can't we operate international schedules that even roughly satisfy our customer demand? Again, we could but it's not one of our priorities.
Why when it was so obvious how this global shitstorm was going to end are we so ill-prepared? Look, I'm only one of the owners I don't have all the answers. But I am of the opinion we should at least be starting the search for a new Chair and CEO.
Like many during the pandemic, I felt caged. Inappropriately confined on a small island becoming smaller by the hour in both physical size and vision. Unlike many, I left.
Repeatedly. I travelled when most thought that impossible. On one occasion I was almost the only passenger on an Air New Zealand flight bound for the city of angels.
Over the last two-plus years I have been given the opportunity to pay the very highest prices for minimal service. As one of Air New Zealand's premier passengers, along with my fellow passengers up the front, above all others we should have been cared for. And I was not… we were not. I am still not being provided the premium services I am paying for. And before the outrage at my suggestion we are not all equal in the eyes of airlines causes you to think me a wanker, let me stress… we are not equal. Those of us up the front are paying for the fuel. But yes … I am a wanker. And very happy to be thought of as one.
To add insult to an already insulting situation, I am constantly bombarded with largely time-consuming, back-patting airline propaganda, mostly begging sympathy for the airline's plight, congratulating themselves on an extraordinary achievement in not completely disintegrating or forward selling me on their vision of the future.
Let's be greener … No, let's haul a couple of assets out of the Mojave Desert and provide a service!
Then there are the surveys. Did you make use of the lounge? No … there wasn't one, how can you not know that? Know your customer! He is supposedly elite!
This is exactly the time Air New Zealand should pay us back. Its owners. Those of us, almost certainly you included, who as a result of the bailout have reinforced our ownership into the future. But the airline can't even answer their phone. Don't let them tell you they are advertising for call centre workers. Listening to their excuses is just wasting more of your time.
At the very moment, we are desperate to fly but they cannot meet the demand. Why is the CEO given news minutes to promote his dream of new seats, new destinations and a "better than any other airline" pitch when he's not called to account for dropping multiple balls in his stewardship of our airline?
I am no longer a loyal Air New Zealand customer. Unlike choosing to support the airline irrespective of cost, I now shop around. I will use my airline only when it is convenient for me to do so. I don't want to be won back, I've moved on. So you might well ask … why bother promoting my discontent? It's because I don't like seeing mediocrity thrive in the face of apathy.
God only knows New Zealand needs to move on and like it or not Air New Zealand is a big part of that. Make no excuses for them and accept no excuses from them. Like me, you're an owner. Do your job … hold them to account.
• Broadcaster Paul Henry has homes in the US and New Zealand. Instagram: thehenryspirit