FAMILY MATTERS by Jude Dobson

Together all day and all of the night
As I write this at the kitchen table I'm accompanied by the sound of the washing machine on spin cycle, the rattling of dishes being put away by the child labour force and dinner cooking on the stove. When you travel with a family some things are constant, it's just the scenery that changes.
Travelling together for six weeks has been a great experience. We have done trips of this duration twice in the past five years and I'm not sure which age is easier to travel with. I don't know that there is one actually - it's just different.
The first time we did this the youngest had only just turned one, and the eldest was eight. Although a baby-cum-toddler is hard work to entertain on a long flight as they are
too big for a bassinet  and too young for a seat of their own, at least on the road they can sleep a lot in the stroller or car seat. As long as we had a lot of milk, water and basic food our youngest was easy to manage. Now, of course, she is way past the stroller stage and is covering the ground on foot.
We cover a lot of ground, too. I can tell you a fair amount of walking is required in the Vatican and, on a hot day in Rome, to a six-year-old, it's about as appealing as having teeth pulled. We survived by looking for pictures of Jesus in every room. Either Jesus or someone naked, as my youngest daughter announced she'd noticed early on. However, the older two kids got great value out of the guide's commentary  and it was well worth the visit. I felt like we'd given our budding teenage artist a real gift.
Picking your must-sees on a trip is a bit like picking the battles you want with your toddler; be choosy because you can't do them all, and you need to appreciate that you all look at the same thing from a different perspective. Michelangelo's David springs to mind.
Memories are made at venues other than the big sightseeing attractions. Going through an Italian supermarket pushing an all-wheel-drive trolley was memorable. The oldest child was driving, the youngest was inside it using a pizza box as a computer keyboard, and Mr Middle was busy issuing instructionsfrom his perch on the front, with the extra stickers from the fruit and veg weighing station attached to his forehead and chin. Yes,
he chose kiwifruit.
It's not always so jovial between the kids. Oh no. In fact, there have been times when I wondered whether they even liked one another. We parents find ourselves infuriated by the carry on, and say so, usually something along the lines of, "Here we are in this
amazing place on the other side of the world and instead of appreciating it you're arguing about something completely meaningless.''
In the car we find ourselves sounding like the fun police. Silliness starts as good fun and because you know it is  going to end in tears for someone, the driver can't concentrate
or, worse still, can't hear Lola, you have to call a halt to it and become instantly unpopular. It is hard treading that thin line.
Lola, I must mention Lola.
A family holiday must involve Lola. This soothing extra woman in the car is a plus and saves marital discord. Lola is the name the kids gave to the GPS, as she was named in RV, the very funny Robin Williams movie about a family holiday.
Occasionally, the driver chose not to listen to Lola or she was drowned out by the kids (I can sympathise with her plight) and he was berated by the back seat passengers who told him he needed to listen to Lola and do what she said. The lease vehicle we settled
on was by far the most cost-effective and attractive because one seat could be moved to the back to ensure separation. Often, though, it needed more than that and one child was moved right to the front so I could sit in the back to keep a closer eye on things and accurately pick the moment the excursion turned from fun to courting disaster.
Travelling in a car is one thing, air travel is another. Long flights, seated upright in packed economy class cabins are not easy. They're even worse when one child vomits most of the way and on first chuck covers herself and the seat. I'm glad I have kept to
my habit of carrying an extra set of clothes for everyone in-flight, even under duress from the other half to lighten the cabin baggage.
The reality is that you never get to spend  this much time together as a family in normal daily life. The constant togetherness of holiday travel does create friction at times, but the plus is that you have some amazing shared experiences that will last a lifetime to look back on and remember. Just make sure you pack your sense of humour, a lot of
tolerance, ears that alternately listen carefully and go totally deaf when needed, and a camera and video to document it all. Now that's a big editing job for a rainy day or six.