Zimbabwe's messy change of money that isn't money

JOHANNESBURG - In the dying days of Zimbabwe's old bearer cheques which have served as money, but are not really money, the changeover has been messy, confusing and in many cases downright unfair.

Regardless of the pronouncement by the Reserve Bank Governor that the old money would remain valid until yesterday, many establishments stopped accepting it almost a week before the cut-off date. Shops and companies that were still accepting the old notes did not have any new notes, and therefore either couldn't give any change or handed over old notes.

As the cut-off date drew closer there was less and less new money in circulation and people were desperately trying to get rid of old money.

A double-page, pull-out advert printed in three languages in the press said: "Zero To Hero, let the hero rise in all of us." Then followed smart subheadings in shiny blue, pink, orange and green boxes which answered questions about the new bearers cheques after the central bank struck three zeroes off the old notes.

It explained how to write cheques, how to pay bills and how to round up or down figures when converting to the new bearer cheques. (As if anything is ever rounded down in a country with inflation at nearly 1000 per cent). At the bottom of the page was a picture of a nifty little white pick-up truck. "Mobile Cash Swap Team" it said, "Coming to a town near you. Bearing good news." And written underneath the truck in purple print: "Money on the mooove!"

For a moment you forget the body and vehicle searches for "illegal money" that are going on at the endless roadblocks. You forget the queues out of the doors of the banks as people still try to deposit box-loads of old money and you forget the fact that the electricity is off again and there's still no fuel to buy.

Of course, the more you look for the Money On The Moove truck, the more elusive it becomes and you are left wondering if it ever existed.

Three days before the deadline I took myself off to the supermarket to spend the last of my old money. I had $1.8 million. Just six years ago I could have bought a four-year-old Mercedes Benz 250D with all the extras and in immaculate condition for that. I wandered around the supermarket doing mental maths, and settled on a packet of salt, a box of custard powder and 20 plastic clothes pegs.

Standing in the line to pay, it was obvious everyone was doing the same as me - buying little things to get rid of the last of the money.

The woman in front had a packet of soup, a bar of soap and a jar of peanut butter. Her bill came to $1.07 million - she only had a million. I gave her $70,000 out of my purse, she clapped in thanks and the man in line behind me said: "Good, thanks sister, I'll help you if yours is short!" Then the man behind him said "and I'll help you!" This is the real face of Zimbabwe and this is what makes our country so special.

- INDEPENDENT