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Home / World

What 'poo date' woman was really thinking

NZ Herald
7 Sep, 2017 10:20 PM7 mins to read

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The tinder date that went round the world has been translated into an African pidgin dialect. Video/BBC

The woman rescued by firefighters after getting stuck in a window while trying to retrieve her own excrement during a Tinder date appears to have spoken out.

The hilarious incident happened when the amateur gymnast went to the toilet at the home of 24-year-old student Liam Smyth in Bristol and blocked the pan.

And a woman claiming to be the date in question claimed in a Reddit post that she was 'literally on my knees cringing and apologising' to him after what happened.

After the woman blocked the toilet pan, she picked up the stool and threw it out the window - but it fell down into a narrow gap between two window panes.

She had no choice but to confess to Mr Smyth, who helped lower her out of the bathroom window into the gap between the houses in an attempt to retrieve it.

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Firefighters were called when she became stuck between in the gap trying to retrieve the excrement. Photo / Liam Smyth
Firefighters were called when she became stuck between in the gap trying to retrieve the excrement. Photo / Liam Smyth

But she then got stuck after getting wedged upside down in the gap, and had to be rescued by firefighters who were called to Mr Smyth's house.

Replying to comments online, a woman said this week: "I am indeed the shamed Shirehampton s*** slinger. My friends have been comparing me to Miranda Hart.

"It's not something I'm proud of, but people are laughing, and if I'm making people happy then I'm not going to complain.

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"It was a panic response and within seconds I knew I'd made a terrible mistake. I would have left, but I just couldn't do that to him.

"I make bad choices sometimes but I like to think I'm not a bad person, and to me that would have been bad [to leave]."

She added: "I feel like if I had and he'd found me out after though I'd probably be in a worse position now. I swear I was literally on my knees cringing and apologising.

"[Mr Smyth] he was so good about it though, just laughed with me rather than at me. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to say.

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"It was a moment of panic, and I read about a woman on Twitter who wrapped the poo and put it in her bag - I didn't have a bag, and I don't know why the window seemed the next best thing.

"I have many regrets. I figured a s**t in the garden, while weird, would not definitely be me. We live in an area with a lot of junkies etc, so prolly [sic] could have got away with it... maybe...it genuinely wasn't that big - his toilet was just dodgy."

Mr Smyth launched a GoFundMe page to replace the broken window - which raised £2,540 thanks to 330 people donating in just one day.

Recounting the hilarious story, Mr Smyth - a postgraduate studying sociology at Bristol University - said: 'I recently took a girl I met on tinder to Nandos. We had a lovely evening, and enjoyed each other's company very much.

"After our meal, we repaired back to my house for a bottle of wine and a scientology documentary. About an hour in to Louis Theroux and chill, my date got up to use the toilet.

"She returned with a panicked look in her eye, and told me she had something to tell me.

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"I went for a poo in your toilet", she told me, and it would not flush.

She continued, "I don't know why I did this, but I panicked. I reached into the toilet bowl, wrapped it in tissue paper, and threw it out of the window".

Mr Smyth said that he told his date that they would go out to the garden, retrieve the poo and "pretend the whole sorry affair had never happened" - but then he realised the bathroom window doesn't open to the garden.

Mr Smyth wrote on his GoFundMe: "Instead, it opens into a narrow gap of about a foot and a half, separated from the outside world by another (non-opening) double glazed window. It was into this twilight zone that my date had thrown her poo.

"As can be seen in the picture, the inside window opens at the top, into the gap that is separated from the garden by a non-opening double-glazed window pane.

"Seeing only one solution, I messaged our house group-chat, and went upstairs to find a hammer and chisel to smash open the window."

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But Mr Smyth said his date had other ideas. He added: "Being an amateur gymnast, she was convinced that she could reach into the window and pull the poo out, using the tried and tested "inside out bag as glove" technique.

"Unfortunately she couldn't reach. She climbed further in and had the same problem. Eventually I agreed to give her a boost up and into the window.

"She climbed in head first after her own turd, reached deeper into the window, bagged it up, and passed it out, over the top and back into the toilet from whence it came.

"She called out to me to help her climb out from the window, I grabbed her waist and I pulled. But she was stuck. Stuck fast."

Mr Smyth said that they tried to get her out of the window, but after several attempts, it was time to call the fire department for a little help.

He wrote: "She had been upside down in the window for around 15 minutes at this point, and I was starting to grow concerned for her health. I called the fire brigade.

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"Bristol's finest were on scene sirens blaring in a matter of minutes.

"Once they had composed themselves after surveying the scene in front of them, they set to work removing my date from the window using all of their special firemen hammers and tools.

The rescue took only 15 minutes, and left Mr Smyth's date unharmed, but as for his bathroom window - it was completely destroyed by the firefighters' tools.

Mr Smyth wrote: "I'm not complaining, they did what they had to do. Problem is, I've been quoted north of £300 to replace the window.

"As a postgraduate student, that is a significant chunk of my monthly budget (in fact, that is my monthly budget)."

Mr Smyth has turned to the internet for help to raise £300 to repair his broken window - a target which has now been exceeded.

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He said: "If the window is not replaced my landlord may well kill me, so you would be literally helping to save a life."

Offers came in from local companies in Bristol, including Warmley Windows, and as far away as Essex.

Mr Smyth said: "We have far exceeded the target, and had a few offers to have the window replaced, free of charge.

"One hundred per cent of the money raised will be going to charity. I'm astounded by the response to this, as these are two fantastic causes."

The first is Toilet Twinning, a charity that builds and maintains flushing toilets in the developing world.

The second is the Fire Fighters Charity because "the guys who came to the house were brilliant, took everything in good humour, and professional".

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After the story went viral, director Louis Theroux, who Smyth says they were watching a documentary from when the event occurred, tweeted: "Honoured to be part of this important story."

Avon Fire and Rescue service confirmed they received a call on August 7 to Smyth's address.

A spokesman said: "We received a call at 10.41pm to one female trapped between interior and exterior glass. Two crews were sent from Temple station and she was rescued using hand tools."

The crew later tweeted "An eventful evening for Temple fire crews", while sharing a link to Mr Smyth's GoFundMe page.

Mr Smyth said that despite his date's awkward ending he did see the woman again. "We did go and meet for a drink to discuss setting up the crowdfunder," he said.

"She's a lovely girl - I'm not sure what's going to happen - I'm really busy with my dissertation at the moment but I'd certainly be open to seeing her again."

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