Victims, survivors, their families, staff and rescuers gathered at the Quakers Hill Anglican Church on Wednesday morning for the private service.
"We want to acknowledge what has happened, we want to give tribute to those who have died and those who have been injured and those who have been traumatised," Rev Bates said.
"We want to pause and reflect. This is not the time for blame but to see life for what it is."
The memorial service comes a day before 35-year-old registered nurse Roger Dean is due to face Sydney's Central Local Court, charged with multiple counts of murder.
Dean, who had only been working at the nursing home for a short time, did not apply for bail when he appeared via video-link before a magistrate at Parramatta Bail Court on Saturday.
Police are continuing to gather forensic evidence to determine the cause of last Friday's fire, which claimed the lives of people aged from 73 to 97.
A walking frame, a wheelchair, a blanket and candle were carried to the front of the church by people from the service.
A cross made of charred timber from the nursing home was on the altar.
Father Ian McGinnity said there were mixed emotions: "sadness, sorrow, bewilderment and also gratitude".
Gary Barnier, CEO of the Domain Principal Group that runs the nursing home, said he was sorry for the lives lost and for the people whose lives had changed forever.
He also thanked his staff and emergency services.
"You are heroes to us, we care about you very much," he said.
"We are in awe of what you do ... this community cherishes you very much."
Mr Barnier thanked neighbours who helped out on the night, as well as local stores who turned up with boxes of bananas and other supplies.
"We are all family now, and we look after each other," he said.
Rev Bates described the week since the deadly inferno as "horrific".
"We've seen both the beauty and the ugliness of humanity," he said.
"We have witnessed the death and destruction of lives and of community.
"And we are trying to make sense out of this and find comfort."
Rev Bates said the scope of the destruction was enormous, with nine lives claimed so far.
"And it seems that a number more who are in critical care are seeing their lives slip away."
For all of the residents at the nursing home, the fire would likely have the impact of "shortening their lives", the reverend added.
"Last Friday was a black Friday ... it brought enormous change to many people."
- AAP
