But on Wednesday local time, Shay Martin posted one final video on behalf of her husband, who had recorded the message to be posted when he died. He was 30.
The five-minute video has been viewed more than 8 million times on TikTok.
Tanner Martin was diagnosed with stage four colon cancer in November 2020. In February 2023, he learned that the cancer was terminal.
And in April of that year, the couple began posting on TikTok about his treatments, their grief and preparations for Martin’s eventual death. The Washington Post visited the family as they were preparing for their daughter’s birth.
Martin died at home in American Fork, Utah, on Wednesday local time surrounded by family, Shay Martin said. Her husband recorded the goodbye video in March.
“I had a heck of a life,” Tanner Martin says in the video, adding that recording a message before his death was “a good opportunity to get all your thoughts out”. He added that it might give his wife the space to grieve.
The couple posted less than a week ago that he had entered hospice care.
Martin was born on December 22, 1994, in Salt Lake City before moving to China and Taiwan for a few years with his parents, Kimberly Watts and Tom Martin, who taught English. The family eventually settled in Draper, Utah.
When he was 18, Martin served in a mission in Arizona for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. That’s where he met Shay, whose father, Steve Wright, was a bishop in the church. The two stayed in touch on Facebook and eventually reconnected back in Utah. They married in 2018.
Martin was pursuing a master’s degree to become a marriage and family therapist when he was diagnosed with cancer.
His wife first started sharing updates on social media as a way to keep family up to date on his treatment. But they quickly discovered a network of cancer fighters and caregivers.
Tanner Martin asks his followers to continue to support his wife and their daughter with donations and gift cards. Photo / @tannerandshay via Instagram
“Being my age, none of my friends were going through anything similar,” Shay Martin said in an interview as she took a break from feeding AmyLou. “It was really nice to meet people in similar situations that we could connect with.”
The couple wanted to be open about their experiences, “the good, the bad, the ugly, the hard, and the beautiful”, she said. “It’s been both beauty and really hard.”
In the video, Tanner Martin asks his followers to continue to support his wife and their daughter with donations and gift cards.
“I’m going to guess Jiaozi will probably like milk,” he says with a laugh, using a nickname for AmyLou, before holding his head in his hand.
She earned the nickname Jiaozi, which means dumpling in Mandarin, at the couple’s first ultrasound when Martin dotingly noted the resemblance.
“Life was awesome. I really enjoyed it while I was here,” he says.
“I believe there’s something after this. I’m excited to meet those people, and hopefully we’re hanging out now and making fun of all you nerds.”
He left with a few words of advice: Be kind to one another and assume good intent from others.
“Death is scary, but it’s also like a new adventure, you know,” he says. “I’m excited to see what the experience is like, and hopefully it’s good.”
