Jessica Gardiner was sexually abused by her father between the ages of five and 11. Photo / A Current Affair
Content warning: This story discusses sexual assault and may be upsetting.
A young woman whose predator father sexually abused her from the age of 5 bravely recorded his admission years later and sent him to jail for his sick crimes.
Jessica Gardiner lived in fear of being alone at home with her father, Peter, from when she was just 5 years old — with her father waiting for her brother's weekly karate lessons or for the whole family to fall asleep at night to creep into his daughter's bed.
Now Jessica refuses to call Peter her dad and had a message for him: "I won, you don't start a battle when you can't win a war".
"I don't know anything worse that anybody could do to a child.
"I had no idea, I just thought this is what happens between parents and children, I just thought that this was normal," Gardiner told A Current Affair on Tuesday.
"My brother used to go to karate lessons, he used to do them once a week and Mum would take him and I remember I was so scared for her to leave because I knew what was coming."
The abuse went on for years — only stopping when Gardiner turned 11 and learned about sex education at school.
"It was just like an epiphany moment. I just had to sit there in pure shock, putting the pieces together of what had happened over the past many years," she recalled.
When her father next went to abuse her, "I just remember I looked at him dead in the eyes and I said 'no'," she said.
After a year, Gardiner worked up the courage to confide in her mother about the abuse — but at first, she heartbreakingly believed Peter, who denied everything his daughter said.
"It's like an adult against a child, who do you believe?" Gardiner said.
But she remained determined to prove her mother wrong — and out her father for the horrific things he'd done. A decade later, when she was 22, that opportunity finally arose.
"One of my girlfriends and her partner had a baby and I was holding her, and she was so sweet and so cute, so innocent and I just looked at her and I thought, 'How could somebody do that to somebody, to a child, to a baby?'" Gardiner said.
"And I just knew at that point that I had to do something."
Before she could inform the police, they called her after receiving an anonymous tip-off.
At the same time, Peter "was putting in a visa to move to Thailand permanently".
"And I was like, 'You can buy children over there, those children don't have any rights' and I thought there is no way I am going to sit here and let him do that to another child," Gardiner said.
But she knew her word wouldn't be enough — leading her to confront him for his crimes during a call that she recorded and then presented as evidence.
"I want to know what was going through your head when you did those things to me," she can be heard telling Peter in the call.
"I've thought about it darling. I've thought about it so much, as to what would f**king make me want to do that," he responds, to which Gardiner pressed: "Do what? I want you to tell me."
"Exactly what you said, perform [redacted] with you. Like, you were the innocent one in it. I was supposed to be the one that knew better," he said.
"You were supposed to be my dad," Gardiner replied.
"I don't know, I... I didn't even think of the consequences. I know that it all happened, and I'm not going to deny that time. I can't. I can't do that," Peter said.
"I cannot apologise enough for it; I am so sorry. I don't know why I did it."
Peter was arrested at his home in the NSW Southern Highlands on March 10 last year and pleaded guilty to eight child abuse charges, including sexual intercourse with a person under the age of 10 and maintaining an unlawful relationship with a child.
At Goulburn Court House last week — when her father was sentenced — Gardiner told the court no child should want to die because of what their parent has done to them.
Peter was sentenced to at least six years and three months in jail — though, with time already served, he could walk free in just over five years.
"He abused me for more years than he's been sentenced. That's not fair," Gardiner said.
Detective Superintendent Jayne Doherty, from the NSW Child Abuse and Sex Crimes Squad, told A Current Affair that Peter had breached the greatest trust there is.
"That child's innocence can never be brought back again, but unfortunately it happens, it happens regularly," she said, adding that police would love to see sex offenders locked up for longer but it was out of their hands.
"We can't just get consumed by the result. At the end of the day, the important thing for victim-survivors is that they've been believed, it's been reinforced by the court that their version was correct and that offender has been held to task.
"Whether that offender gets six years, whether they get 60 years, we will now have that offender identified [on the Child Protection Register] to the police so we can limit their contact with children in the future."
Sexual harm - Where to get help
If it's an emergency and you feel that you or someone else is at risk, call 111.
If you've ever experienced sexual assault or abuse and need to talk to someone, contact Safe to Talk confidentially, any time 24/7:
• Call 0800 044 334
• Text 4334
• Email support@safetotalk.nz
• For more info or to web chat visit safetotalk.nz
Alternatively contact your local police station - click here for a list.
If you have been sexually assaulted, remember it's not your fault.