I'd arrived on the island with my family five days earlier, and while they're at the beach, Tania is doing her job - promoting Norfolk Island; listing its attributes as a great destination for Mum, Dad and the kids.
"Did you know, back in New Zealand there's a saying about this island?" I'd said.
(That's when the hands flew up.)
"I know, I know. I've heard it," she said hurriedly.
"But I'm not even going to say it out loud. I just won't say it."
I bury my nose in my latte, and so does she.
There's a slightly awkward silence.
"Um. Not everyone said that when we told them we were coming to Norfolk," I offered lamely.
"Actually, I'd never even heard it before. Until just recently."
For the record, the rather disparaging saying, "Norfolk Island - it's for the newly-weds or nearly-deads."
Rather unkind, but it never fails to make non-Norfolk folk laugh the first time they hear it - chortle even, while they're saying: "Oh, that's awful!"
True enough; when we board the plane in Auckland, the passengers already in their seats form a veritable sea of grey. After all, Norfolk Island is especially well-known as a favourite destination for the retired - but still perky - generation.
And, having whisked our children out of school for the holiday, we knew they might be the only under-40s on the plane. At least we wouldn't have to cross the Pacific listening to crying babies or the mosquito-like buzz of an iPod on high volume.
But, by the end of our seven-day holiday, we'd decided the "newly weds, nearly deads" tag is really quite misleading.
"It's so frustrating that people think of the island that way," Tania says.
"It's a fantastic place for a real family holiday."
She's right. There's no Disneyland, but Norfolk Island is hardly short on things to do with your kids.
We found the island has a secret especially for kids and the young at heart. It's Cantabrian and former early childhood teacher, Agnes Hain - or more to the point: her shop.
Agnes' shop is to toys and games what the Willy Wonka Factory is to confectionery.
It captivates children and adults alike with its burgeoning shelves; twirling, sparkly and springy things hanging from the ceiling; rotating racks stuffed to bursting and colourful ride-on toys neatly parked in rows.
There are so many items, we're forced to fossick and pull things out or ask for assistance. She's got an even bigger shop down the hill in Burnt Pine. Both are magnets for grandparents stocking up for little ones back home or giving in to their own penchant for board games and jigsaws.
We found ourselves returning to Agnes' toy shops almost daily. It's where we spent the money we'd saved by not buying family passes to Gold Coast theme parks.
Agnes holidayed on Norfolk 40 years ago. Smitten, she farewelled Christchurch and bought 12ha that include one of the island's last remaining rainforests. She's since extended her home 15 times to accommodate the ever-growing and always well-stocked toy shop.
It offers the biggest selection of board games we'd ever seen, but Agnes' trump card is Lego - the hugely popular and very collectable tiny building blocks with "mini-figure" people.
On Norfolk, Agnes says, Lego is always 30 per cent cheaper than it is in New Zealand and Australia - sometimes discounted even more, and invariably cheaper than it is in Denmark where it is made.
Boxes and boxes of Lego arrive - with boxes and boxes of other toys and games - every six weeks. It comes by ships, loaded to the gunnels.
There is no port system on Norfolk. Its often-treacherous rocky shore-line is surrounded by an underwater shelf that has kept ships out for several hundred years - and wrecked a few, too.
Freighters arrive and are often forced by the weather to drop anchor until the sea is calm enough for local lighter boats to be towed out to them and loaded up with the islanders' needs, and Agnes Hain's extensive list of toys and games.
Amazingly, this is how Norfolk Islanders buy themselves a new car, motorbike or even small truck. Each vehicle is lowered from the ship to "straddle" the sides of a lighter boat and be towed ashore by an outboard motor-powered fishing boat. We wonder if any have ever slipped into the sea.
Word travels fast around the island when a ship is being unloaded. Dozens of locals and tourists drive down to the sea and the cliff-edge to watch, and we go too.
Sitting on the rocks and being splashed by the sea-spray of pounding waves while watching the unloading proves surprisingly entertaining. Norfolk Island's 300 year plus history is as intriguing as it is shocking - for the brutal stories of murder, punishment and appalling living conditions within its prison at Kingston. The prison is in ruins now - a myriad of weather-worn stone walls beside the sea.
For our children's vivid imaginations, it was the perfect place for some make-believe re-enactments of their own, especially after they'd heard the story of a prison guard who was murdered by prisoners while they worked on building a bridge. His remains were allegedly concealed within the stone and mortar; his peers discovering his demise when blood seeped through the stonework of what is now known as Bloody Bridge.
Ghost stories and memorable tales abound on Norfolk. Entire evening tours have been choreographed around them - some with actors dressed in period-costume as wretched prisoners and hard-nosed prison wardens. In the pitch-black, we inch through the prison ruins in a small bus, stopping every few minutes to see spot-light re-enactments of prison life.
Our children are wide-eyed and particularly impressed with the scene of a shirtless and 'bloodied' prisoner getting his 20 lashes.
We struggled to do everything on offer on the island, largely because our children insisted on going to their most favourite place for at least two hours every day: Emily Bay - the island's safe and family-favourite beach.
We rode horses and picnicked, walked cliff-top trails, wandered in the Sunday morning street market and explored the local sea-life in a glass-bottom boat.
And, when we weren't in her shop, we walked in Agnes Hain's lush rainforest and played the mini-golf circuit in her front garden. There were mountain bikes and kayaks to hire - but we ran out of time.
In the café with Tania, I recklessly suggest there's another little saying that could be applied to Norfolk Island - to its tourism operators.
"What's that?" she asks.
"You get what you wish for," I say and point out that the brochures for tours, horse riding and hiring sports gear don't offer family rates or prices for children.
"Ah yes, it's 'one price fits all', but it's been like that for years," she says.
The Norfolk Island Tourism Bureau has a new co-ordinator, she explains, and he's getting all the local tour operators together so children's and family group rates can be set.
"Come back at Christmas," she urges.
"I think you'll notice a big difference."
CHECKLIST
Getting there: Norfolk Island is a one-hour 40-minute flight from Auckland. Air New Zealand flights leave on Wednesdays and Sundays. Check regular flight and accommodation packages through www.flightcentre.co.nz.
When to go: The climate is "sub-tropical maritime" with temperatures ranging between 18C and 24C in summer. The warmest time to visit is between February and May.
Further information: Shopping is duty free; the currency is Australian but groceries are costly. See norfolkisland.com.au for more details.
Victoria Bartle and her family travelled to Norfolk Island courtesy of Flight Centre.
