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Home / Travel

Travel hits and misses: Chris Parker

By Chris Parker
Spy.co.nz·
30 Jun, 2018 06:00 PM2 mins to read

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Chris Parker and Eli Matthewson, from The Male Gayz, on TVNZ.

Chris Parker and Eli Matthewson, from The Male Gayz, on TVNZ.

HIT

My greatest travel hit was my whirlwind trip around Europe. It was me, my two dear friends from Christchurch Eddy and Brynley Stent (from Funny Girls and Jono and Ben), and New Zealand megastar Rose Matafeo. Big celebrity trip. We did a Europe blitz in two weeks. A lot of people thought we were insane to be travelling so quickly around Europe, but the focus was about the group travelling together as much as it was seeing Europe.

One of my favourite nights was when we went out for dinner in Paris. We had far too much to drink before we left for dinner, so when we finally arrived at the restaurant we were quite jolly. Unfortunately the restaurant was so empty — like completely barren — and deathly silent. I felt like I had lost my hearing! It was a truly surreal moment. It's like someone had pressed mute on the world. The four of us sat around the dinner crying with laughter. Just in complete hysterics in a fancy restaurant in Paris. Truly an iconic memory.

MISS

My definite lowlight was in Kyoto, Japan. I did another trip with Eddy and Brynley. We were cycling through the streets of Kyoto to go to the moutains and see some monkeys. Just a casual Tuesday. Anyway I had just eaten some very chill food from a 7/11 — I loved the Japanese convenience stores. So we were on our bikes about 40 minutes away from any kind of building with a toilet, when suddenly my stomach turned to slushy. I had to call out to my friend Eddy while we were cycling, "Eddy I think we need to pull over otherwise you will need to bike back to town and get me some fresh clothes".
Truly horrific. To cut a disgusting story short, let's just say my saviour came in the form of a very desolate petrol station, which had a traditional standing toilet. All the instructions were in Japanese and I had no time to figure it out. I walked out of that petrol station within 30 seconds and felt euphoric.

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