Travel bugs: On American mispronunciations and buffet dilemmas

Daniel Craig in Casino Royale.

Creg, Daniel Creg, in the USA

I'm going to be back in the States again in a couple of weeks and among all the physical and autumnal wonders of New York and Boston at this time of year, there's something else to look forward to: How Americans say my surname. Roxborogh, as pronounced in New Zealand as well as the rest of the world (and irrespective of spelling) lies somewhere between "Roxburra" and "Roxbra". But in the US of A, no matter if it's California, Texas or Massachusetts, it becomes the much cooler, far more high-five-worthy "Roxbro". Chur' bro!

That said, I've always been relieved that neither my first name nor surname was Craig because while "Roxburra" to "Roxbro" is an upgrade in America, "Cray-g" to "Creg" is an inexcusable downgrade. For some reason, our American friends don't merely adapt the name to their accent, they fundamentally change the vowel sound.

Inexplicably, a name that should only rhyme with plague, vague and The Hague, gets converted into something rhyming with peg, beg and keg. Spare a thought for poor old James Bond star Daniel "Creg" Craig every time he's interviewed in the States. And before you say it's just the accent, Americans have zero trouble saying plague, vague and The Hague. There's no such thing as the Black "Pleg" is there!

Being seated at breakfast buffets before you've eaten

A good hotel breakfast buffet is one of the most fun parts of a holiday. As a young man I may have even been known to sneak the odd piece of Tupperware into hotel buffets, shamefully helping myself to enough extra food for a free lunch that I'd then hide away in my backpack. Forgive me — I promise I've long been a reformed character and no longer travel with Tupperware.

Post my dalliances into Tupperware-based thievery, what remains the same after 38 years on this planet and 13 spent as a travel writer is the annoying ritual of being first made to sit down at hotel buffets even though you have to then stand up again to go and get your food.

I understand being led to a table so you can secure where you're seated, but more often than not there's this weird dance of having a chair pulled out for you, sitting down, twiddling your thumbs for 60-seconds and then getting up again. Indeed, there are countless times over the years where I've sat where instructed and waited for something to happen, only to realise I've been abandoned entirely by the staff.

I'm sure the thinking is that staff will take your tea and coffee orders and then once your drink arrives, you can make a beeline for the scrambled eggs, the hash-browns, the watermelon and the unnecessary but magnificent miniature chocolate muffins. But can't those tea/coffee orders be taken once you've got your food? If I've made it down to from my room to eat, then eat is what I want to do.

Tim Roxborogh hosts Newstalk ZB's Weekend Collective and blogs at RoxboroghReport.com