Kilbey, author of Unplugged Parenting, advises parents to set clear expectations for tech usage:
"Be explicit about Wi-Fi. Are you prepared to purchase it? Your idea of an Enid Blyton utopia may not be your teen or tween's ideal; people may need different versions of 'happy' to equally enjoy the experience." And don't beat yourself up: "You can leave your guilt at home," says Kilbey.
Whether there's a kids' club on site, or a desire for Mum or Dad to relax and read, Dr Kilbey counsels parents to be clear with children about the balance they expect. "It's fine to say, 'I need to do something for me'; it's about teaching them the give and take of family life. Most children are just happy to have you there, not at work, in your holiday mode."
If children are young, bring surprise items to keep them entertained. Buy those overpriced colouring books, or bring a few board games, and barter, advises Kilbey: "Say, 'I'll play one round of Go Fish with you, then I'll read a chapter of my book'."
Teens will want more space, she says. "You have to be given responsibility to develop more of it. "Provided you've checked the parameters of where you are, holidays can be a good time to give children some freedom."
If you're unsure how to lure your teenager into wanting to spend time with you, Kilbey has an easy solution: throw some money at it.
"You need to manage expectations and divide up: we'll have a day at the water parks in exchange for a day on the beach where I'll read my book and you will occupy yourself. It's a simple bartering system, but they need to go first," she warns.
"This is an introduction to the world," she adds, "teaching them these negotiating skills early on is helpful".
And her top tip is to schedule an activity a day. "Keep them physical, busy, outside, moving, exploring," she says. "Introduce the new and the novel."
If you're going away with friends or extended family, the secret to group happiness is simple: "You're going to have to lighten up," says Kilbey. Grandparents will want to spoil the children; your obsessively organised friend will want to organise. Let them.
"If something's not working, keep the bigger picture top of your mind: this is a holiday.
"If children are occupied enough, they tend not to fight. If the holiday is too unstructured, young children can't cope with that. Each morning, have a quick conversation about what you're doing that day, and jot them down, so everyone knows."
Finally, go easy on the dad jokes.
