Tim Roxborogh's Travel Bugs: When you've got your camera on the wrong setting

Tim Roxborogh on the joys of moaning about your holiday

"Did you mean for all your photos to be in panoramic mode?"

"Y-yes, yes I did," came the slightly stammered lie from my lips. It was 2003 and I was home from my first solo overseas trip, a two-and-half-week jaunt around Thailand and Malaysia. As was the case in those days, I was so excited to see all my holiday photos that the same day I'd landed back in New Zealand, I was down at the local photo shop.

Ah yes, the local photo shop. Not much of thing in 2019, but there I was, all my little plastic containers with my rolls of film in a bag, handed over for the modern wonders of "One Hour Photography". I'd then go to a neighbouring music store, browse through $30 CDs hoping to see something on special for a more affordable $20, and be back at the photo shop on the dot of 60 minutes.

For someone with such a giddy enthusiasm for holiday snaps, you'd think I'd have known how to have my camera on the right setting, but no. I flew 9500km to take 10 rolls of film in super wide-screen, panoramic mode. I didn't just lie to the man at the photo shop, I started lying to myself: "These photos actually look better like this! Exclusively panoramic photos might be my thing!"

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It wasn't my thing and while that photo album has a certain innocent "I'm a dropkick" kind of charm about it, that was to be the last time I ever made that mistake. Possibly not coincidentally, it was the last holiday I took before getting a digital camera.

Speaking of which, baby boomer friends of mine (the same ones who featured in last week's Travel Bugs column about staying in a lodge with an usually high bed and not realising there was a stool to help them mount and dismount) have recently had a similar camera mishap.

While on holiday in San Francisco and doing the day trip to Alcatraz, they only realised after the fact that all their photos were in fact videos. And it's not like accidental videos ever capture much worth looking at either. There's the initial pointing of the camera in the right direction that starts off the video, but scenic footage of a prison on an island quickly changes to rushes and muffles and darkness as the camera returns to its position slung over the shoulder.

If you're in the habit of turning your camera off after every shot then this faux pas isn't so costly, but if not, you get several minutes filming your elbow before the video stops, usually when you think you're taking another photo. Great memories! #betterlivingeveryone

Giant toy alpacas In tourist shops

New Zealand tourist shops are strange beasts. All that hilariously priced honey, all that merino, all those coasters. Some of them also literally contain strange beasts too. Next time you're passing a New Zealand tourist shop, pop inside and see if there's a giant toy alpaca. I think it's fair to assume that most of us believe these almost life-size alpacas to be merely there to help sell the alpaca-wool related products. Oh no! They are generally also for sale themselves.

I've enquired as to the asking price for a giant toy alpaca on more than one occasion, the most recent of which being just a few weeks ago in the Auckland CBD. How much for one of those bad boys in your house? A cool $800 and you'll be away laughing. Which raises the question: beyond the managers of other tourist shops, who in their right mind pays a grand for a giant toy alpaca?*

*$500 and you've got a deal.

Tim Roxborogh hosts Newstalk ZB's Weekend Collective and blogs at RoxboroghReport.com.