Tim Roxborogh's travel bugs: Wearing a snorkel in the hotel pool

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A weekly ode to the joys of moaning about your holiday, by Tim Roxborogh.

I'd heard the rumour for years. Not only that, I can't overstate just how much I wanted it to be true: that a truly elite member of the New Zealand pop music fraternity regularly used a snorkel while in the pool.

The timeline from first learning of these rumblings to actually seeing the proof before my very eyes was probably about five years and it was the experience of not only meeting a hero, but of meeting a hero while in the act of doing a vA weekly ode to the joys of moaning about your holiday, by Tim Roxborogh.ery heroic thing. It was overwhelming.

To cut to the chase, Tim Finn, yes, the Tim Finn, is known to swim in pools while wearing a mask and snorkel. As if it wasn't awesome enough that he's written and sung such Kiwi classics as Six Months in a Leaky Boat, I See Red, Poor Boy, Weather with You and Persuasion, this is a guy so secure in himself that he does with finesse what would make anybody else look like a dork.

Without revealing any further details of the wheres and whens of our masked hero, a few years ago — by coincidence — I found myself a new member of the same hotel gym and swimming complex as Tim Finn. As I went about my lengths, I noticed a silver-haired chap in the lane next to me with his head down and with a cheeky snorkel breaking through the water. He was a machine! He was also lapping me with ease. I thought, "wouldn't it be funny if he turns out to be Tim Finn?"

Well, you wouldn't read about it, but when the pool-snorkeller finally emerged from the water, it was indeed Mr Finn. I was now poolside and decided to say "hi", telling Tim how much I wished I could be cool enough to also bung my snorkel on while doing my lengths.

He laughed and gave a ringing endorsement for the wonders of pool-snorkelling in the burning of calories without the complications of worrying about your breathing. He also told me that some pools don't allow him to use it. Outrageous!

I left vowing to become a regular pool-snorkeller, knowing how much easier it would make doing freestyle for me. But alas, while I may be Tim Roxborogh, I am not Tim Finn. Ultimately I just didn't think I could pull it off and always chickened out. So the years slipped by, I stopped going to that particular pool and my dreams of snorkelling while not in the sea were becoming a hazy memory.

Fast-forward to my honeymoon in Malaysian Borneo in October 2017. My wife and I were at the quite brilliant Shangri-La in Kota Kinabalu. This hotel had everything: a beautiful private beach, a 9-hole pitch 'n' putt golf course, first-rate restaurants, immaculate gardens, luxurious rooms, waterslides and a postcard-perfect infinity pool. An infinity pool, that is, filled with people in lifejackets and snorkels.
Turns out Kota Kinabalu (an affluent Malaysian city in the state of Sabah) is a popular destination with mainland Chinese tourists who according to the locals, think nothing of wearing a snorkel in the pool.

Sure, a remarkable chunk also enjoy the extra peace of mind a lifejacket in a 5-star hotel swimming pool offers, but mostly I was taken aback by all the snorkels.

I'm ashamed to admit I laughed. I made jokes and wondered out loud how anyone could think it was socially acceptable to wear a snorkel while in the pool. Then I remembered Tim Finn. If he'd been on our honeymoon with us (a curious scenario), he wouldn't have been so judgmental. Indeed, I'm sure Tim would've been supportive of our fellow tourists.

So I did it. I went back to our hotel room, grabbed a snorkel and mask and went back down to the infinity pool. Well Tim, you'd be proud. For the first time in my life, I understood firsthand the unbridled joys of pool-snorkelling. Breathing was so easy! My vision so clear! And thus the journey from envying pool-snorkellers, to making fun of them, to becoming one, was finally complete.

Tim Roxborogh hosts Newstalk ZB's Weekend Collective and blogs at RoxboroghReport.com.