Tim Roxborogh's Travel Bugs: Can you wear togs on a plane?

It's hard to know what to wear on a plane these days, but togs are definitely not the answer. Photo / Getty Images

Granted, they were an extremely good-looking couple, but even extremely good-looking people are going to struggle to board a plane in nothing but their swimming togs. She was in a bikini, he in his board shorts and their tans were so glorious it was an honour just to be in their presence while queuing at the check-in counter.

The check-in counter in question was at the small airport on Tioman Island off the east coast of Peninsular Malaysia. This is a place that has lured millions of international travellers ever since being the setting of the mythical Bali Hai from the smash hit film adaptation of South Pacific in the late 1950s.

It's easy to see why some tourists might get so relaxed they don't feel the need for a great deal of clothing. I've been one of those tourists, particularly in my younger and skinnier days. Shirtless roti canai on the beach as the sun sinks into the South China Sea? Why not!

But never in a million years would I have considered trying to get on a plane in the same get-up as for lying on the beach, even if I did look as Insta-worthy as these two blue-eyed, milk-chocolate-hued characters.

The reasons are – as I'm sure you're aware – less to do with modesty and more to do with rules. I don't want to alarm you, but you can't get on a plane either sans shirt or in a bikini. It doesn't matter whether it's a dinky jungle airport on a tropical island, or in a gleaming metropolitan transit hub: no airline will let you aboard.

Rightly so too. It's hard for a lot of Western tourists to comprehend this, but a lot of tropical destinations also happen to be found in morally quite conservative countries. It might not feel that way when you're half-dressed, cracking funnies and downing cocktails on the beach, but just because it's 33C and coastal, it doesn't mean that beach attire is going to fly when you're, you know, no longer at the beach.

I can remember being at a restaurant in Krabi in Thailand where a German couple had a proper sit-down meal at an open-air restaurant while only wearing G-strings. The Thai staff were too polite to say anything, but it was shockingly disrespectful.

Back to Tioman and the airport - there might not have been a G-string in sight, but as the passports were handed over, the officials informed the duo that unless they could produce some extra clothing, they wouldn't be leaving the island.

I love observing people and the whole episode had fascinated me. How could these two be so unaware as to think they were ever going to be allowed to board in that state? Were they thick? Were they rude? Were they drunk?

Ultimately, I'd suggest it was none of the above. Overhearing them in the tiny departure lounge, they surprised me when they sounded like interesting, well-travelled folks. Maybe Tioman had just cast a spell on them. Or maybe when you're that hilariously good-looking, you're used to getting away with stuff.

Tim Roxborogh hosts Newstalk ZB's Weekend Collective and blogs at roxboroghreport.com