Nothing much happens in Ohinewai, but that's the beauty. Photo / File
Nothing much happens in Ohinewai, but that's the beauty. Photo / File
Nothing much happens in Ohinewai, but that's the beauty. One travel site suggests: "Depending on your budget, these more prominent places might be interesting for you . . . " and lists locales further afield. How very dare they.
This is the place I grew up.
At primary school there, some40 years ago, we celebrated the school centenary with a version of ragtime ditty "Down by the Riverside", because that is literally where we were. Back then there was a supermarket, a garage and a nursery - of course, that was before the expressway. None of those is there now but there's so much still to enjoy.
Defy the expressway and veer off at the Ohinewai exit, turn west, head down the gentle slope past the hall and tennis club, cross former State Highway 1 and down a little lane to the Ohinewai Landing. Here you can sit (BYO seating) and snack (BYO snacks) down by the riverside and enjoy the tranquil waters of the Waikato drifting towards Auckland's taps.
For those organising a gathering, you could hire the Ohinewai Hall. The Waikato District Council site states: "Not expensive to hire and in a great location for people coming from different locations, it's a good 'in the middle' place to meet". I suspect the town may be missing a catchy slogan: Ohinewai: Neither Here Nor There.
Behind the hall on Thursdays between 6:30pm and 8:30pm, drop in for a spot of social tennis at the courts for the very reasonable price of $4 per session. Just contact Kathy.
After tennis, head east along Tahuna Rd. Had things been a little different, you could have visited a viewing platform to stare into the abyss of the country's largest open-cast coal mine. It was to be developed under National's Think Big scheme in the 1980s until they realised that digging a very large, very deep hole in the middle of a waterlogged swamp might give them a few issues. Such as a lake.
Te Radar is appearing at the NZ International Comedy Festival. Photo / Supplied
Speaking of lakes, after 7.5km, turn left on to Waiterimu Rd, then left again onto Waikare Rd for a leisurely scenic drive (BYO car) around Lake Waikare, the largest of the shallow lakes on the floodplain. Admire the flourishing koi carp, then become slightly concerned about the flourishing koi carp, then promise yourself you'll brush up on your archery and return the first weekend of November for the NZ Bowhunters Koi Carp Classic.
Don't feel that you can simply acquire a bow and go all Robin Hood at any time of the year though. A permit is required and koi are a difficult target according to the bowhunters: "Carp need to be stalked and will not tolerate a sloppy approach." Same, actually.
So for an utterly stressless getaway an hour from Auckland, visit Ohinewai. Do so before it's transformed by the industrial might of Big-Bed, as Sleepyhead look to build a Billion Dollar Megafactory and Workers' Village with Shops! Experience Ohinewai before it awakes from its slumbers.
Te Radar will moderate The Great Comedy Debate as part of the Comedy Festival. See comedyfestival.co.nz for more information.
