What's in the neighbourhood: The night markets are a short taxi ride away and there's a pleasant river walk close to the hotel.
Food and drink: An extensive breakfast buffet offers everything a Westerner would want for breakfast, as well as a range of popular Chinese selections.
The bed: Two king-size beds.
Bathroom: Large, with a high-tech toilet that had a flight-deck of options. The seat was always disconcertingly warm. A range of toiletries and accessories from toothbrushes to razors and a choice of burgundy or white slippers.
Free Wi-Fi? Yes
Exercise: The fitness room was on the ground floor but didn't open until 7am — too late for my 8am bus schedule so I had to satisfy myself with a morning river walk.
Would I return? Prime ministers, presidents and former political prisoners have all laid down their heads to sleep here, cocooned in Chinese culture and surrounded by dragons — so it's good enough for me.
So what is in the basement? Two escape tunnels, each 180m long, stretch to a local park. They can hold up to 10,000 people at a time and there's a slide for faster access and a bit of fun as you flee for your life.
Checklist
The Grand Hotel can be found at No.1, Section 4, Zhongshan N. Road, Zhongshan District, Taipei City, Taiwan. Phone: +886 2 2886 8888.