The romantic notion of swimming under the glass panel for a glamorous photo differs from the reality of a large pale-skinned man being battered against the window by the incoming tide.
The bathroom: A huge marble space with sea views from the enormous tub. When I called for some bubble bath they sent a spa technician to our room to hand-make bubbles with a length of muslin and an elegant scooping action. The L'Occitane en Provence shampoo smelled like heaven.
The location: Situated on 400m of private beach, on one of the fronds of the famous Palm Jumeirah, with majestic views of the Dubai skyline, the Atlantis and the Burj Al Arab.
Food and drink: There are six food and beverage outlets covering various types of cuisine, including an Australian steak house restaurant, Asian and Mediterranean.
Tech: Fast, complimentary Wi-Fi in-room and all public areas. An enormous flat-screen TV provided access to a wide range of local and international cable channels.
Good value? Yes. Because nothing was too much trouble. And it's the only property in the UAE with over-water villas. What price can you put on waking up and seeing colourful fish swimming beneath your bed? Not to mention the state-of-the-art spa with 24 treatment rooms and a Turkish Hammam.
Would I return? If I won the lottery. And not during the summer. It was simply too hot. The sea lapping at the villa afforded only minor relief as it was too warm to be refreshing.
The 10,000sq m of temperature-controlled lagoon swimming pool was a better bet. Stay in a room with direct access to the pool or go hard and shell out for a room with your own private pool and jacuzzi.
This was among the best customer service I've ever experienced. Dubai is generally pristine, but Anantara takes it to a new level; there wasn't a leaf out of place among the Asian-inspired architecture accentuated with scenic lush gardens.