Bathrooms: Beautifully decorated with gorgeous Indian objet d'arte. No freebie toiletries to snaffle because there's no recycling on Havelock so toiletries come in large aluminium canisters that are replenished daily.
Noise: Just the sounds of nature — birds, cicadas and skinks, which are long-tailed lizards or, if you ask me, snakes with lizard legs.
Food and drink: At the time of writing, Jalakara's alcohol licence was still pending, so it was BYO. There's a lovely al fresco restaurant with just about enough choice to get you through your holiday. My favourites were the momos, the barracuda my nephew caught on his fishing trip, which the chef prepared for us, and the breakfast mango shot — a mango, banana, turmeric and coconut flake smoothie.
R&R: Jalakara has a massage room and daily yoga and can arrange anything from fishing trips to guided rainforest walks. We had a day of unsurpassed joy snorkelling for hours in a secluded bay just beyond Elephant Beach. There was no one else there but us. I never thought I'd quote 80s poplet Belinda Carlisle in a feature, but here goes — heaven really is a place on earth!
What's in the neighbourhood: Er, rainforest. Best seen from the swimming pool at sunrise.
Fifteen minutes away by car or scooter, or 30 minutes on foot, you'll find the town and Govind Nagar (beach no 3), with beach no 5 a little further on from there. To get to Havelock's super beaches, the ones that make the cover pages of the travel mags, you'll need wheels. Radhanagar (beach no 7) is among the most beautiful in the world — a huge sweep of soft sand that leads you into the deep blue.
Wi-Fi: No Wi-Fi, no phone, no television.
Online: jalakara.info
Perfect for: Board games, lounging about, reading, talking.
Would I return? Yes, but I'd do a two-centre stay, coupling Jalakara with a beach-based hotel.