A luxury stay at W Melbourne, the city’s flashiest hotel.
The W Hotel, Melbourne, offers one of the most luxurious overnight stays in the city. But don’t get too comfortable, or you’ll find yourself flashing the neighbours and talking to the toilet, writes Anna Sarjeant
Location: Occupying trendy Flinders Lane, the W Melbourne sits in prime position for walking to the city’s iconic Flinders Steet Train Station, myriad riverside restaurants and Fed Square.
Style: High-end, modern, and unapologetically flash – take one look at the excessively illuminated facade and you’ll see what I mean.
Perfect for: Distinguished guests looking to make their Melbourne holiday as much about the accommodation as the city’s sought-after entertainment and dining.
Price: A ‘Wonderful’ 37sq m King Room starts from $426 per night. There are several more options with varying space and comfort, all the way up to a $2123pn for the ‘WOW’ 127sq m suite.
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First impressions: It’s always nice to get excited about your hotel room. The W is something special and at check-in, I’m hopping from foot to foot while the staff run through the necessary paperwork, which is an outdated notion because it’s all done by touchscreen.
I’m initially struck by the fancy branded pens. You know it’s going to be flash when the pens are elite. Even so, I sign in digitally; awkwardly apologising when my finger-drawn signature looks like a toddler’s etch-a-sketch.
The mat in the lift says ‘good afternoon’: superfluous yet fabulous. I love it more than the pens. I have to squint to see this cordial mat (which will have changed to ‘Good Morning’ by breakfast) because the rule of thumb for hotel design in 2024: the more expensive the hotel, the darker the decor.
Rooms: Not bad, is my initial thought. The room is large, flushed with tones of raspberry and amber, and laden with signature W design elements that are as quirky as they are amusing. The floor-to-ceiling windows are a nice touch but I think it’s slightly on the small size. That is until I open the bathroom door and find a closet.
The bathroom is actually hiding behind an enormous screen door that I’d wrongly assumed was an outer wall. Pull that back and the room doubles in size, revealing a large wet room and bathtub, both of which you have to turn an entire corner to discover.
Back in the bedroom, there is plentiful floor space, an XL bed with all the pillow trimmings, and a big TV that you can Chromecast to your preferred source of entertainment.
With work to do (it’s not all lavish dinners and soirees you know), I comfortably set up my laptop at the desk. No need to swipe a pen from reception, there’s one on the table.
I stay at the W for three nights and have three of the best night’s sleep of my life. Notably due to the blackout blinds, zero noise and because I binge-watched myself into a Netflix coma.
Bathroom: A warning for anyone with a nervous disposition – the toilet is one of those fancy models that tourists rave about in Japan. The ones with spouting jets and hose downs. The lid automatically lifts when you open the toilet door, something that may cause a fright until you get accustomed to it. By the time I left, I felt I had to say hello.
The toilet seat is also round-the-clock warm. Something I became accustomed to very quickly.
The rainforest shower feels like a treat but not as much as the bathtub which fills deeply and quickly. I have one opportunity to call home and speak to my 2-year-old son before he goes to bed, so we have a nice chat with my phone strategically balanced on the bathtub - directed at my face, I may add.
In hindsight, I shouldn’t have assumed the bathroom window was one-way glass. At 4pm on a Friday, with the W Melbourne facing a large office block, I don’t think Melbourne’s workforce will have assumed the naked lady on floor four was innocently taking a bath while multi-tasking a chat with her toddler.
For everyone else who visits - automatic blinds will come down at a click of a button. Please use them.
Food and drink: Breakfast at Lollo is a gargantuan buffet with several food stations, offering everything from continental options to a cooked breakfast and comfort food such as eggs bene and pancakes. Your preferred coffee will arrive within minutes. Every day I enjoyed the minute or so spent chatting with staff as they were particularly pleasant and engaged with every guest.
Curious, the hotel’s brooding underground bar was busy and atmospheric on the Friday night I popped down for a drink. And, although I didn’t sample them, there is also a cafe-cum-wine bar called Culprit; Warabi, a high-end Japanese restaurant; and Wet, a scattering of poolside tables located at the Swim Club.
Facilities: Wet is an easy-on-the-eye pool area and gymnasium with stark white walls and plenty of natural light. It’s the kind of place that encourages guests to both “get up and at it” as soon as the alarm chimes at 5am, while also spurring guests to indulge in one too many poolside cocktails come 5pm. Basically, it’s a sanctuary of hedonism.
A limited number of spots are available for valet car parking, for A$75 ($80) per car per day.
In the neighbourhood: All the big tourist attractions are walkable and you’re mere minutes from the nearest tram stop.
Don’t miss Saluministi on Flinders Lane which is a one-minute walk away. This unassuming hole-in-the-wall sandwich shop is (arguably) home to the best pork in Australia, possibly the world. There’s always a short queue of punters outside, waiting for a coffee and porchetta sandwich combo.
Family friendly: While I didn’t see any children during my stay at the W Melbourne, I’m sure they are welcome. Overall, I’d say it’s more suitable for couples, DINKs, business types, and solo travellers.
Accessibility: Accessible rooms include the ‘cosy accessible’, complete with bathtub grab rails, flashing door knockers and lowered amenities, as well as roll-in showers and accessible vanities. Main entrances are all accessible and there’s also an accessible entrance to the swimming pool and restaurants.
Sustainability: In-room recycling bins are provided and do make me more conscious about what I’m chucking away. The toiletries are all in refillable bottles. There’s an annoying amount of cardboard table notes - with QR codes for this and that. I tossed them (in the recycling) but to the hotel’s credit, someone plucked them back out. I didn’t do it again.
Contact: marriott.com/en-us/hotels/melwh-w-melbourne/overview
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