Rainbow's End has all the fun of the fair

It was, as we had feared, the pirates who caused the trouble on our summer holiday outing. Grandson Geoffrey, almost 3, is fascinated with the bold buccaneers. In fact, with his blow-up sword at the ready - a sensible replacement for the earlier plastic cutlass which proved capable of inflicting a bit of damage - he packs quite a lot of piratical menace into a small bundle.

As a result he was very keen to try out the Pirate Ship at Rainbow's End. Unfortunately we weren't quite sure he was up to the way it swung to and fro like a ship in very, very big seas.

But have you ever tried to stop a sharp-eyed, fast-moving little boy from finding his way to a pirate ship? Right. Well, we failed too.

So, towards the end of the day, Grandad and Geoffrey found themselves lined up waiting to board the ship.

High above on the poop deck a ferocious one-legged pirate grinned evilly down at us. It made Grandad a little nervous but Geoffrey seemed to find his smile encouraging.

"I want to go there," said he said, pointing to the stern. "Okay," said Grandad, and led the way to the back row of the seats on the main deck. "No," said Geoffrey, "I want to go THERE," and he pointed above us to the poop deck where the pirate captain stood.

Luckily he accepted the argument that the poop deck was only for pirate chiefs and sat quietly while we were fastened into our seats along with a couple of dozen other would-be buccaneers.

Then the ship began moving, swinging high into the air, then swooping down the other way, getting higher and higher all the time.

At first all went well. "Wahooo!" we shouted each time it swooped down, and "Weehaa!" as it swung back, laughing in nervous excitement.

But when the swings reached their peak it was a bit much for a little chap. "I want to get off," he said, wriggling to get free. Explanations that you can't just get off a swinging pirate ship didn't wash. "I want Mum."

So Grandad waved at the attendant, to indicate that we needed to stop, and she kindly pushed the button to bring the ship back to port.

Of course it takes a while for a ship to stop swinging but small boys don't quite understand waiting. "I want to get off now. I want Grandma."

But then, as the ship started to come to rest, he changed his mind. "I don't want to get off. I want to stay on. I want another ride."

And so it was a struggling little pirate who was carried back to dry land amid promises that he could have another ride on the nice horses of the merry-go-round.

That little skirmish apart, Rainbow's End was a great place to take our two oldest grandchildren for a summer outing.

On the one hand, their presence allowed us to indulge our second childhoods by going on all sorts of great rides without people looking at us strangely. On the other hand, the kids were young enough for us to avoid the really scary attractions without seeming like wimps. (This also works for parents.)

There was a worrying moment when Kate, aged 7, decided she would like to go on the Corkscrew Roller Coaster, requiring one of us to accompany her.

For several minutes there was silence. Grandad would doubtless have offered to go but he was engrossed in sorting out the settings on his new camera. Finally Grandma said, "Oh, I'll go with you, Kate."

At that moment the roller coaster carriage flashed overhead, its screaming occupants hanging upside down, and I'm sure I saw Grandma's face go white.

Still, she did retain enough self-control to walk stiff-legged towards the entrance, until the carriage roared past again, this time the screaming occupants hanging sideways, and Kate decided, "I don't want to go on it after all." Whew.

Luckily neither Kate nor Geoffrey showed the slightest interest in the Power Surge, which whirls you round in every direction, or the Fearfall, where you drop at 82kph from 18 stories high, both of which seemed to provide even louder screams than the roller coaster.

The best place for the littlies is the Cadbury Land Castle, which has all sorts of gentle rides, like the merry-go-round, Geoffrey's favourite, which he went on half-a-dozen times.

There's also a giant bouncy castle with a moat full of brightly coloured spongy balls, a mini-ferris wheel, a sort of miniature Fearfall which only Kate was brave enough to go on, a truck drive and a great plane ride.

"I'm flying!" shouted Geoffrey, delightedly when his jet took off, but his smile turned to a piratical scowl when the well-meaning attendant gave his aircraft a bounce. Warning: do not mess with 3-year-old pilots.

There was also a quite-exciting-enough dragon rollercoaster which I was able to go on twice. See, if we'd been on our own we wouldn't have even been allowed in the dragon ride, but as it was we not only got to have a go but also looked like cool grandparents.

The kids also enjoyed the holiday entertainment at the nearby Centre Stage which included a nice old wizard and some fantastic Thai acrobats. Well, Kate enjoyed it, and Geoffrey stayed fairly still for about half an hour before making his successful dash for the Pirate Ship.

That swinging voyage was enough of an adrenalin rush for me, though I wouldn't have minded taking the Log Flume ride through the Enchanted Forest, but unfortunately the queues there were always too long.

And some of the other fun attractions like the Bumper Boats, Dodgems or Mini Golf weren't really suitable for littlies.

But there was still quite enough for us to happily fill in about five hours - including time out for ice creams and hamburgers - before Geoffrey, who'd run everywhere full tilt, finally fell asleep.

Then lucky Grandma got to take Kate on the Goldrush, a sort of rollercoaster ride in a mine cart through an abandoned underground gold mine, rather like Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.

That was a big success because not only did it give Grandma's neck a good workout it was pronounced by Kate as, "the best ride ever".

Finally, while Geoffrey continued to slumber, Grandad and Kate went to Cinema 180-degrees, where you stand in the middle of the room while a film of amazing roller coaster rides, jet boat journeys and stunt plane flights swirls around on the walls.

It's just like being there, and Grandad was having trouble keeping his balance, when just at the right time Kate said she was feeling dizzy, so they were both able to sit down.

Like I say, Rainbow's End is a great place to go with your grandchildren, because you get to seem staunch, appear caring and have fun all at the same time.

The only thing you need to be wary of are the pirates.

* Rainbow's End is at Manukau City just off Auckland's Southern Motorway. You can contact it at 0800 4 FUNPARK or see website link below.  An all-inclusive family superpass for two adults and children costs $128.