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Home / Travel

‘My wife and I spend time apart on holiday. Is that weird?’ asks traveller

Thomas Bywater
By Thomas Bywater
Writer and Multimedia Producer·NZ Herald·
26 Jan, 2023 10:51 PM3 mins to read

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Alone time: With double rooms, solo charges and tables for two, travel puts a lot of pressure on couples. Photo / Getty Images
Alone time: With double rooms, solo charges and tables for two, travel puts a lot of pressure on couples. Photo / Getty Images

Alone time: With double rooms, solo charges and tables for two, travel puts a lot of pressure on couples. Photo / Getty Images

A married couple have taken to the internet to ask if their holiday pastime was ‘weird’:

Going on trips together to spend time alone.

With so much of travel geared towards couples and travelling with a romantic partner, there can be a lot of pressure on spending time with your significant other.

One husband has said that he and his wife decided that, on an upcoming trip to Barcelona, they would spend it following their own interests. He couldn’t understand why more couples don’t spend more time exploring solo, instead of taking it in turn to pretend to tolerate each other’s plans for holiday activities.

“We were talking and proposed taking a day or two in each city where we both explore the city however we please and meet up later,” he asked the reddit forum r/travel.

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“She may spend an hour looking at various shops that I may have no interest in and I’m ready to move on,” he wrote.

Meanwhile she had no time for his interests in “military history” and “people watching”.

“Is this weird? Our relationship is fine, we just explore at different speeds and have some different interests.”

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Opinions were split on whether this was a sign of a healthy approach to holiday planning.

Some jumped to conclusions that it was signs of marital dissatisfaction. The fact that they weren’t prepared to learn more about each other’s passions was a sign they were “not making an effort”.

Most said that the couple should follow their own interests and not care what others thought.

“No one in Barcelona will know these two specifically are married and spending the day apart,” said one reply. “For all anyone knows, they are solo travellers.”

However, a surprising number of travellers said it “wasn’t weird at all” adding that they do the same “all the time”.

One said time alone “could be marriage-saving.”

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Writing that she felt “triggered” by the suggestion, she wished she spent more time alone rather than on hiking holidays with her ex.

Many fell into the camp of finding it “weirder” that he had to ask the question at all.

“If it works for you, why do other opinions matter? You’re married. Not conjoined twins!”

Vacations can also be fraught with romantic obstacles for couples. Last year, a study into common reasons why couples break up revealed that one in five splits were the result of a shared holiday.

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The survey of US travellers revealed that 17 per cent of couples reported ending a trip early due to a fight with their significant other.

With double rooms, single supplements and tables laid for two - travel puts a lot of pressure on couples to take precious shared leave together.

The study suggested you shouldn’t feel obliged to spend every waking hour with your spouse. A bit of time alone can be good for couples planning trips.

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