My holidays: Tim Wilson

Tim Wilson, with his wife Rachel and son Felix, in Hahei. Photo / Supplied

What was your greatest holiday?

Our honeymoon in Sydney. Rather than go and poach in the sun on some tropical wasteland, we decided to do a series of dates in the nearest big city. Something different every night. A comedy gig (we never go to comedy; we are a comedy). Opera with a live horse at the Opera House. We even ended up at a music lecture, and couldn't have been happier. Mostly though, after so long apart, we loved being together.

And the worst?

When I was a kid, my dad took us on a day trip to Hipango Park on the Whanganui River. We drove for a few hours in the usual miasma of car sickness and boredom, finally arriving at the place on the map. But it wasn't there. Then my father read the map more closely. It was on the other side of the river and accessible only by boat. A long, quiet trip home ensued.

If we bump into you on holiday what are you most likely to be doing?

Book in one hand, baby in the other, looking admiringly at my wife.

If we could teleport you to anywhere in New Zealand for a holiday, where would it be?

We head up to Hahei for Labour Weekend with some families who are really close to us. It's the best time. Kids, friends, food, conversation, Cathedral Cove, mass in Tairua, afternoon snoozes, great views, surprising tennis triumphs. The weekend is always too short. Add some more days; bliss.

How about a dream holiday internationally?

I'd love to take Rachel and the boys to New York and show them around. Of course Roman and Felix are far too young, but who cares? Actually, we'll care on the 18-hour flights there and back, and so will everyone sitting around us.

Complete this sentence - I can't travel without:

Money.

What's the dumbest thing you've ever done while travelling?

Bought a 1976 Mercury Cougar from a man whose wife offered me a cocktail at 8am. I demurred, but bought the vehicle. The transmission died two days later. I should have taken the drink, and eschewed the car.

What's the best travel tip you've been given?

The worst tip was to stay at the Soledad Guest House in Manila, advertised to me as "the cheapest, and the best". The room was windowless. Rats ate my luggage. This experience becomes the best travel tip: the cheapest is rarely the best.

What was the most memorable meal you've ever had while travelling?

While in Japan, we were lounging around eating barbecued things and drinking sake. They served a desiccated-avian. What's that? Sparrow. Why not? I crunched the head. Bird brains exploded on to the roof of my mouth. They were warm.

Favourite airport to land at?

Auckland. It means you're home. I always loved to smell the air in New Zealand after flying back from the US when I did that regularly. NZild-y. Fresh. Clean.

What's the next trip you have planned?We're going back to Sydney, and planning to lose the kids in transit. I'm already missing them, but I know we'll have a blast.

Tim Wilson works on Seven Sharp and co-hosts The Two on Newstalk ZB. His new novel, The Straight Banana, a comedy about a terror plot in New York, is out now Victoria University Press, RRP$30).