My Holidays: Kate Simmonds' embarrassing Spanish camper van

Kiwi comedian Kate Simmonds with a friend in Spain and their campervan. Photo / Supplied

Kate Simmonds is directing Wigging Out at the Basement Theatre, February 27-March 3, as part of the Auckland Fringe Festival.

What was your greatest holiday?
During the summer of 2010, I spent three months rolling around Spain in a bright orange camper van with my best mate. No job, no schedule — just hopping from one stop to the next without a care in the world. The only downside was the horrendous paint job splashed across the van itself — a full "beach scene" with shark, seagulls and beer bottles and spray painted on the back, "We're not lost, we're exploring".

And the worst? Dislocating my knee on the first run of a snowboarding trip to Revelstoke, Canada.

If we bump into you on holiday, what are you most likely to be doing? Sifting through the local art gallery gift shop to replenish my pressie drawer.

If we could teleport you to one place in New Zealand for a week-long holiday, where would it be? Yes please. I'd like a ticket to Golden Bay please.

How about for a dream holiday internationally? Japan. Friends who have been rave about what an amazing time they had. The people, the culture, the food, the shopping, even the excellent snowboarding — it all sounds like a place I want to experience.

Aisle seat or window seat? AISLE. AISLE. AISLE. That way, I won't have to awkwardly climb over you while you're sleeping.

Complete this sentence: I can't travel without ... People watching. I love it. I was lucky enough to live in Paris for a year, and phoarrrrr, that place was made for it.

What's the best travel tip you've ever been given? Sick of dry nostrils when you fly? When you've taken off, ram them with a generous serving of pawpaw or Vaseline. It works a dream.

What was the most memorable meal you've had while travelling? When planning a recent trip to the US, the BF and I made sure we stopped by Chicago to get a taste of Michelin star chef Grant Achatz's crazy delicious grub. We didn't end up getting into his most famous restaurant Alinea but lucky for us, we stumbled across a joint of his that was even better (well, in our eyes). It was Grant's experimental cocktail bar-slash-restaurant-slash-science-lab: The Aviary. I've never eaten or drunk anything quite like it. I mean, we ate the world's biggest salt and vinegar pork skin chip — like, as big as two heads kinda big. It was unreal.

What's the best thing you've brought back from a trip? A rubber wallet that I picked up at the NYC MoMa design shop in 2014.

Favourite airport at which to land? Hands down: Gisborne airport.

Why? Cause I know that when the tiny plane hits the tarmac, time will slow down and my mind and body will relax. Life instantly goes down a gear — for the better.

What's the next trip you've got planned? Next trip planned is Palma de Mallorca for a friend's wedding. Can. Not. Wait. Then it's off to the dream destination Japan. After that, Iceland then it's got to be back to NYC … yeah, you get it, the list goes on.