KEY POINTS:
Do you travel light or heavy?
If it's for a show in another city, it depends how much backline gear we can blag off the support band at the gig so that we don't have to lug all the heavy crap like speaker cabinets and drum kits with
us on the plane. Also, I've learnt from experience that even if someone at the airline says that you can't fit an electric guitar case in an overhead locker, you actually can.
Cattle or first class?
I think I got bumped up to first class once but that might have been confusion due to mixing prescribed medication (see below) with some in-flight beverage.
I can't travel without ...
A member of the Benzodiazepine family: I'm phobic about flying.
What type of suitcase do you carry?
Does a guitar case count? I guess it's just the usual type of suitcase with a handle, but definitely no false-bottomed cases for me - I've never had any great desires to spend the rest of my life in the Bangkok Hilton.
What's always in your hand luggage?
Valium (or something similar), a book or mag to read and the usual other crap you always have in the bottom of your bag.
What's never in my hand luggage these days is anything sharp and stabby, like a switchblade knife or a box cutter - air travel has never been the same since 9/11.
Are you a planner or last-minute packer?
Well, these days I always plan on putting anything sharp and stabby in my suitcase that's going in the cargo hold ...
What's the best thing you've brought back from a trip?
That'd be the lovely ivory-handled switchblade knife I bought in Germany back in 1994 on a Headless Chickens tour, which I smuggled through US customs and then back into New Zealand in my toiletries bag. That was pre-9/11, of course.
Unfortunately, I had to ditch it in a rubbish bin at Dunedin airport a few years back when I was just about to go through check-in and I realised there were now metal detectors even for domestic flights. I wasn't really in the mood for being questioned about being in possession of an illegal weapon in New Zealand. Bloody 9/11.
Favourite or most exciting airport to land in?
No favourites, of course, but Wellington airport is by far the worst, especially in one of those tiny little tinpot pieces of crap with wings that are the only things able to take off from Nelson airport. I will never make that particular trip again as long as I live; it was like a Disneyland rollercoaster ride from the seventh depth of Hell.
Best travel tip?
Don't do it, but if you really have to then take the appropriate medication that's best for your particular mental condition.
Most memorable trip?
Jeez ... flying 36 hours around the world to go back to the country where the woman I was madly in love with lived.
I had to stop off in Japan for the night, too, which was torture, but it was worth the wait when I got to where I was going.
What do you do while on the plane?
Depends how long the flight is - if it's only a few hours then I usually just hang on for grim death until the wheels hit the tarmac again.
If it's longer than that I try to get unconscious as quickly as I can until I get shaken awake at the other end by the reassuringly feminine hand of an air steward.
Chris Matthews is the lead singer of Headless Chickens, who will reform at their November 28 gig. Tickets from Ticketmaster.
