How to have a nice day at Disneyland

By PATRICE GAFFANEY

The T-shirt logo said it all: "DAD is not spelled ATM." The man's pained expression reinforced the logo as he secured his wailing toddler into the pushchair. His pre-teens looked as if they were going to have a serious word to the dictionary compilers the minute they got home.

Oh, dear. The end of another day in the place Walt Disney dubbed the Happiest Place on Earth - Disneyland.

If I had a US dollar for every grumpy face and tantrum I'd seen, and every hissed threat I'd heard, I would be able to indulge my shopping fantasies in any Orange County shopping mall I liked for a very long time.

But those grumpy faces were outnumbered by the happy ones. No matter how hard you try, you can't stay grumpy for too long in this sea of fantasy.

The kids have longed for this - it's been their dream for years and here they are. The parents have tried to smile, and repeated under their breath, "We will have fun. It's only a day. Run with it".

But for some it's all a bit much. And who can blame them?

The Disney parks - yes, there are now two, the original Disneyland, still going strong after 47 years, and the adjoining California Adventure which opened last year - are sometimes dizzyingly overwhelming, and utterly exhausting. But they are also truly magical.

My day had started at the Disneyland Resort's new upmarket hotel, the Grand California, where I breakfasted with Chip'n' Dale and watched wide-eyed kids give the larger-than-life figures a hug, got their autographs in their special Disneyland autograph book and done a conga around the dining room.

I'd walked along Downtown Disney, a tasteful art-deco styled shopping, eating and entertainment centre that connects the resort's theme parks with its three main hotels, and made a note of the places I wanted to return to: the funky and fun Rainforest Cafe, the Build a Bear Workshop to make my own stuffed animal memento, and the ESPN Zone, a sports-lovers' haven where you can eat while watching sport on a giant screen (American sport only on the day I was there, despite the World Cup being in full swing).

I'd spent my day at California Adventure. During my only other visit to Disneyland, 21 years ago, this spot was a carpark. Now it's an adventure park that pays homage to everything Californian.

In peak season, June to August, 60,000 people a day go through the turnstiles into Disneyland (that's nearly the population of Rotorua).

A more sedate 25,000 are attracted to California Adventure so it was slightly more appealing. It is smaller too, 22ha as opposed to Disneyland's 33ha. That aside, it's still daunting, so planning is essential.

Both parks have electronic signs showing the queue-times for the popular rides, which in some cases can be as long as 50 minutes. But Disney has come up with a clever system, the fast pass. You insert your admission ticket into the fast-pass machines outside the rides and receive a ticket that gives a one-hour window of time in which to return for your ride. Brilliant.

California Adventure is divided into three lands - Hollywood Pictures Backlot pays homage to movie magic, Paradise Pier is devoted to beachfront activities and the Golden State celebrates the outdoors.

Be warned, it's loud. Anything from the Beach Boys to Frank Sinatra affronts your ears once through the turnstiles and gathered under the Golden State Bridge (a replica of San Francisco's Golden Gate bridge). But, hey, this is California. Get used to it.

Needless to say, the park has every heart-stoppingly scary ride imaginable, and the roller coaster is top of the list. This one has the off-putting name of California Screamin' and travels from 0 to 88km/h in four seconds before turning people upside down. No, I didn't try it - I quite like the gap between my stomach and mouth and I don't really want either to meet, even for the briefest moment.

The highest I got was Soarin' Over California, a breathtaking simulation of hang-gliding which takes you from one end of the state to the other and throws in sea breezes and orange scents along the way.

It's Tough to be a Bug is a 4-D experience that gives a bug's-eye view of the world and has a few surprises for the senses along the way.

In the Hollywood Pictures Backlot was the Power of Blast, a brass and percussion spectacle that was another shock to the eardrums. It pays homage to America's brass bands in an expertly choreographed blur of drumsticks, sabres, banners, trumpets and trombones.

California Adventure is well-planned, clean and big by our standards. It has ample chilling-out areas for families to catch their breath and feed the inner body before launching into yet another adventure.

In the Golden State section is the Golden Vine Winery, where you can taste some of California's wine, and the Bountiful Valley Farm, which displays produce such as citrus, dates and olives.

But it's not all quiet and dreamy - it also has the Grizzly River Run, which is white-water rafting at its best and involves people getting very, very wet.

It's easy to "Do Disney" in a day by arriving early, taking in both parks and leaving late, no doubt with overtired, scratchy kids in tow. Don't.

Disney offers three- or four-day park hoppers which allow multi-entry to both parks on different days. By using these, you can opt out when the tantrums or heat get too much and return to your hotel for some downtime.

If you're not staying at one of the three hotels within the Disneyland resort, try to get one in nearby Anaheim Resort, a lush oasis of wide, palm-lined boulevards that houses top-class hotels.

Anaheim Resort Transport operates bright red trolleys that ply a circular route between the parks and the main hotels and run every 10 minutes in peak times, so it's easy to come and go.

Because, let's face it, once you've gone, you will want to go back, no matter how much you think otherwise.

Disneyland

When to go

May or September. Avoid the summer school holiday months of June, July and August.

Getting there

Air New Zealand flies direct from Auckland to Los Angeles 10 times a week. This will increase to a twice-daily service from October 27. Fares to Los Angeles start at $1999

Disneyland is usually open from 9 am to 11pm but times change according to seasons. California Adventure is open from 10am to 9pm.

Advisory

Wear sensible shoes, remember sunscreen and take water. Plan your rides, but be flexible and allow for queues. Remember the fast pass - it will make life easier.