Winston Aldworth flies aboard Latam's flight 800, from Auckland to Santiago.
The plane: A Dreamliner. Last time I flew this route with these guys it was aboard their grand old dame, the A340. Of course, we all prefer the 787 — better lighting, fancy air pressure that reduces jetlag, etc. — but I have a soft spot for A340s, and when you're flying over one of the most remote stretches in commercial aviation, four engines trumps two.
Class: Economy.
Seat: 27C.
How full: Chocka.
Fellow passengers: Mostly seemed to be South Americans heading back home.
Airport experience: Bit by bit, Auckland Airport is improving, but the public areas are still disjointed and cluttered. Thank goodness for access to the Qantas lounge.
Time: 11h, 20m.
Food and drink: A mixed performance on this front. The lamb I had for dinner was fantastic — the slow cooking in the aircraft kitchen suited the cut of meat beautifully. Soft and succulent, you wouldn't grizzle if it was served to you in a decent restaurant. It even came on a funky round plate. I can't recall a better Economy Class dinner.
I had a nice glass of Chilean red wine to go with it. So far, so bueno! Afterwards, I thought, maybe another glass of that wine would be nice. It proved hard to catch the eye of the cabin crew — unusual given I was in an aisle seat. Eventually, as the hostee cleared my plate, I asked: "Could I get another wine please?" She glared at me like I'd asked her to land the plane, climb to a hilltop vineyard, pick some grapes, stomp the grapes, ferment the liquid, bottle the thing, then return to the plane, take off again and serve me a second glass. "Only one more," she snapped, in a tone that invited no discussion.
Last time I was on this route, they were a cheery mob with a heavy pour. By now, I'm really missing the old A340.
Service: Wine senorita wasn't the only one having an off-day. The cabin staff were brisk to the point of dismissiveness and clearly keen to get meal service done so they could dim the lights and bolt to the back of the plane. The biggest smiles we saw from the staff were as we disembarked. By then, I suspect most passengers felt the same way.
Entertainment: A very good selection. I'd been hanging out to watch Quentin Tarantino's The Hateful Eight. It was worth the wait. The Shape of Water? Overrated.
Toilets: Their cleanliness didn't fare well under Grant Bradley's patented "three-quarters-of-the-way-there" test. Matters hadn't improved by the end.
The final word: Top food aboard a lovely plane, but a smile would be nice.