KEY POINTS:
I felt surprisingly calm until the moment I looked over the edge of the Sky Tower platform, saw a red and white target 192m below - that's 630ft, which sounds even further - and realised just how far I was going to fall.
Ulp. How did I get
myself into this?
Oh, yes, I remember. I wanted to experience an edgy weekend in Auckland. And this is definitely on the edge.
But it's also pretty edgy to risk your future on the turn of a card, cauterise your insides with a chilli cocktail, have hot rocks rubbed into your back, suck the marrow out of bone, or try to stroll down Queen St while the interminable upgrade continues.
In fact, as I discovered, there's a surprising amount of edgy stuff in the City of Sails if you go looking for it.
For instance, the SkyCity Grand Hotel, where my wife and I stayed for the weekend, is not only a fine hotel but also has some quite edgy art, like Shane Cotton's impressive Nga Karu in the lobby, Michael Hight's Beehive series opposite the lifts on each floor, and Robin Morrison's photos in the suites.
Dine by Peter Gordon, where we had dinner, has some pretty edgy dishes. My favourite was the delicious Alaskan king crab with tamarind laksa. Its flavours ranged across the spectrum from the bite of chilli and the sourness of pickled quail's egg to the sweetness of coconut and the savoury tang of the crab meat.
And the Aotea Markets, where we enjoyed a pleasant Saturday stroll, gets more edgy every time I go, with wonderful New Zealand jewellery and clothing and, the highlight for me, shoulder bags made from those ghastly old ties I don't have to wear any more (I think I may take my Mickey Mouse tie to be turned into a bag).
But if you want real edginess - to the point where it becomes scary - try the SkyCity Casino.
All those banks of flashing electronic idols, green baize tables where uniformed priests preside over mysterious rituals, throngs of fanatical worshippers casting forth their offerings, and piles of money disappearing down slots never to be seen again are very frightening to a neophyte like me.
Fortunately, we had a guide in Jason Trowill, the casino's amiable poker manager, who a few years ago was chosen to introduce Hercules to cards, and was now going to show me and some friends how to play blackjack and poker. I thought I knew how to play Blackjack but it turns out to be rather more complicated than I imagined.
Trowill says the casino makes big profits from people like me who think they know what they're doing but don't understand the mathematical odds.
If you want to win - or at least to minimise your losses - you're well advised to get tuition in what he calls "the system", which governs when to increase your bet, when to stand pat and when to take another card.
As Trowill outlined all the rules of the system, my eyes glazed over a bit, but I tried to follow it, played conservatively, and by the end of a few hands the pile of chips in front of me had grown a little. Hey, this is fun.
Then we moved on to poker or, to be precise, Texas hold 'em poker, the game James Bond played in the film version of Casino Royale.
In poker, unlike blackjack, you're not playing the casino but other players, so my opponents were my mates, a scary thought when you remember how Daniel Craig's supposed allies first fed him false information and then tried to poison him.
Even more scary, a big guy with tattooed arms tried to join us, and looked even more enthusiastic when Trowill told him we were having a private learning session.
"I'm a beginner," he said persuasively. "I'd like to learn." Turned out he was the fourth ranked poker player in New Zealand.
But once we started playing, far from being scary, the poker went fantastically. First I got a queen and a 10 - "a donkey hand", Trowill explained kindly afterwards - which grew into three queens. Then I got two spades which became a flush. This game is easy. And so it continued.
In the final hand, I managed to bluff my two twos into beating a pair of jacks and finished up with a huge pile of chips. Yeehaa.
Since we weren't playing for cash, my success produced only a minor buzz. But then losing wasn't too agonising either. In fact it was noticeable there was a lot more merriment at our pretend table than at the real ones, where serious people were playing for serious money.
And, best of all, there was no risk of being tied to a chair and tortured to give my winnings back.
But the edginess doesn't stop there. Things don't come much more scary than seeing dementors swoop out of the megascreen at SkyCity Cinemas. Or, if you're my age, watching Roger Hall's saga of life in a rest home at SkyCity Theatre. Or the stone magic massage - yes, they rub your body with heated rocks - at the marvellous East Day Spa.
Or - eek - standing on the jumping platform at the top of the Sky Tower trying to enjoy the magnificent view while they fit you into a harness and hook it up to a wire cable.
I posed on the edge for a - last? - photo trying to look relaxed, the attendant counted "three, two one" and I swooped into the abyss, arms extended in front, flying across the city like a bald, bearded Superman.
Just 10m down, I was hauled to a halt to pose in mid-air for another photo, then it was off again, falling earthwards at a speed of around 85km/h watching the ground approach with frightening speed, until suddenly the cable slowed my fall and I landed gently on the target.
Wow. What a buzz. For only the second time in my life - the first was when I got married - I found my knees were shaking. I needed a drink.
And David Faircloth, head bartender at Bellota, had just the drink, invented especially for the occasion, an extreme margarita, made of Grand Marnier, tequila, guava nectar, limes, chillis and chilli sugar, all chilled with plenty of ice.
It was perfect, balancing the heat of chillis with the cold of ice, and the sweetness of guava with the sourness of lime, as well as offering the nerve-calming bite of the alcohol.
Bellota has great tapas-style food, especially the signature dish of bellota (or acorn-fed ham) with olive oil and bread, and the marrow bones stuffed with bone marrow, mushroom and Manchego was very edgy.
But for a really edgy experience you must try the extreme margarita ... after jumping off the Sky Tower, of course. Do that and then tell me Auckland isn't one of the edgiest places on the planet.
*Jim Eagles had an edgy weekend as guest of SkyCity Auckland.
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AUCKLAND ACCOMMODATION
SkyCity's Grand Hotel has an Extravagance Package, for $455 plus GST, which includes one night's accommodation for two in a luxury room, dinner for two to the value of $150 in dine by Peter Gordon, a bottle of Deutz, the chef's selection decadence platter, breakfast for two in the Terrace restaurant, extended check-out to 1pm, and valet car parking.
POKER
Private, learn-to-play-poker lessons for up to 10 people, followed by a mini tournament costs from $150 an hour.
SKY JUMP
SkyJump costs $195, or $175 for students or backpackers with ID.
EAST DAY SPA
Massages cost from $55 for a half-hour, $100 full hour, or a Staying in Touch for two is $220.
ENTERTAINMENT
For details of what's on at the SkyCity Theatre or cinemas see www.cityauckland.co.nz or www.skycitycinemas.co.nz
CELEBRATORY COCKTAILS
Bellota signature cocktails are $14.
FURTHER INFORMATION
Details of SkyCity's services on (09) 363 6000 or www.skycityauckland.co.nz
