KEY POINTS:
I am in the historic Yorkshire market town of Otley on the trail of the pinnacle of British food.
It's icy cold and the narrow streets are packed with people and jammed with cars attracted by the weekly market day.
But the chill wind and the frustrations of
finding a parking space - I eventually parked illegally outside the lovely old church - were a price well worth paying for the culinary treat I was aiming to enjoy.
I've never agreed with all the sneering about pommy grub. Sure, there's plenty of bad food to be had in Britain but that's true anywhere (including France).
But even before the advent of Jamie Oliver, Nigella Lawson and Rick Stein I've almost always been able to find good food by sticking to the wonderful traditional dishes.
And a month spent touring England and Scotland during the northern hemisphere winter has confirmed that is still the way to go.
During that time I enjoyed treats including:
* Sausages and mash at the Evenhill pub just outside Canterbury.
* Freshly smoked kippers in Swan House guest house, Hastings.
* Scampi and chips at the Grapes, Oxford.
* Seared partridge breasts at the Boars Head, Ripley, Yorkshire.
* Liver and bacon in the First In, Last Out pub, Hastings.
* Steak and kidney pie at Millers in Windermere, Cumbria.
* Roast lamb at the Florence Arms, Portsmouth.
* Haddock and chips with mushy peas and bread and butter in the Magpie Cafe, Whitby.
* Black pudding, fried eggs and bacon at the White Hart, Salisbury.
* Haggis, tatties and neeps at Greyfriars Bobby's Bar, Edinburgh.
* Roast turkey with all the trimmings for Christmas Day dinner at Hilltop Farm cottage near Cowling, Yorkshire.
Some of those meals were superb - especially the liver and bacon, fish and chips, black pudding, roast turkey and haggis - but they weren't quite the pinnacle.
That, for me, is the pork pie.
I made this discovery 22 years ago when my wife and I visited the town of Skipton in Yorkshire to see the wonderfully well-preserved Skipton Castle.
We were walking along the banks of the town canal in the snow when a wondrous sight appeared on the horizon: a venerable shop labelled "The Celebrated Pork Pie Establishment".
We bought a giant pie, rushed back to the farm cottage where we were staying, and ate it hot in front of a roaring fire. It was delicious.
Since then I've been a dedicated pork pie fan. They're my very special treats when I've been extra good.
But while I have found some good pork pies in New Zealand - as well as a lot of very bad ones - I'm afraid none of those I've tried are truly superb.
So on my latest trip to Britain I went on a quest to find the finest pork pie in the world. It is a search which took me to the far corners of England.
Many people sang the praises of the distinctive Melton Mowbray pork pies, which use uncured meat, especially those produced by Dickinson and Morris. But for me they didn't quite make the cut.
An unexpected treat - which we ate on the beautiful shores of Coniston Water in the Lake District - was a pork pie from Huddleston's Butchers in Windermere.
I positively drooled when patrons at the Falcon, Arncliffe, Littondale, ordered pork pies topped with mint sauce - yes, mint sauce, and I was assured it was delicious - with mushy peas on the side (I wasn't allowed to join them because we were visiting friends for a Christmas Eve luncheon).
A strong contender is Hinchliffe's Farm Shop, Netherton, which looks as though it has won more pork pie awards than anyone else.
But now I'm in Otley, at the premises of Geo Middlemiss and Son, family butchers since 1881, hoping to find something even better.
After all Middlemiss pork pies - and sausages, by the way - have collected a pile of awards, including being named the Yorkshire supreme pork pie champions two years in a row and winning the Pork Pie Appreciation Society championship cup.
Furthermore, Peter Middlemiss, who presides over the firm's pies these days, is a fifth generation champion pork pie maker.
So what is his secret? "Hmm," he muses. "Good ingredients. The finest pork. Good lard and flour ... a lot of people forget that. A lot of hard work. And a few secrets which have been passed down the generations ... well, I'd have to say that, wouldn't I."
It's easy to see that the hard work part is true. My visit to the Middlemiss shop coincides with the pre-Christmas rush and everyone is flat out trying to satisfy the lines of customers desperate to have a pork pie among their festive season banquets.
"I'm getting worried that if it carries on like this we might run out," Middlemiss says, while deftly removing another tray of crisp, gleaming, golden-brown pies from the oven.
"Last night we had to work until 11 to stay ahead. It looks as though we might be here until 12 tonight. We can't have customers missing out on their pork pies."
With the pressure on, the family has summoned all hands to the pork pie assembly line.
In the back room giant pies are being made by Barbara Brown who is supposed to be retired after 40 years of pork pie making - and winning a few awards of her own - but "temporarily out of retirement to help out".
And what does she think of the pies being produced today under the supervision of young Peter?
"Oh, they're very good. Very, very good. And I don't say that lightly."
In the main workroom just behind the shop the freshly-baked pies are being topped up with pork jelly by - good heavens - a young woman from Pukekohe.
Alisha Phillips, whose family emigrated to New Zealand "many years ago" was supposed to be spending the Christmas holidays with her Yorkshire rellies when she was "called in to help like everyone else".
It's hard work," she says, while carefully adding hot jelly through the holes in the tops of the pies, "but it's good fun."
So how does she think New Zealand pork pies compare with the ones she's helping to make now?
"My Dad's the real pork pie lover," she says. "We get him one each week. But they're not very good. The filling tastes like processed meat rather than real pork. They're nothing like these pies. These are marvellous."
In fact, inspired by her time at the Middlemiss butchery, Phillips now has an ambition to open a pork pie business in New Zealand.
"There's no reason why New Zealand pork pies can't be as good as these," she says. "We've got all the ingredients. All we seem to be lacking is the ... inspiration."
By now the smell of the pies and the enthusiasm of the pie makers has got me inspired too, inspired to try these champion pies for myself.
So, happily swinging a bag of freshly baked pies, I charge back out into the icy bustle of the Otley market, race back to the car, drive into the countryside and stop at the first parking area that appears.
Then, ignoring the rather uninspiring surroundings, I cut a pie in half with my trusty Swiss Army knife, and my wife and I simultaneously take a bite.
Delicious. Superb. Nirvana. Without doubt the finest pork pie I've ever tasted.
* Jim Eagles went in pursuit of the perfect pork pie as guest of Visit Britain and Emirates.
Checklist
Britain
Getting There
Emirates has three flights daily from Auckland and one from Christchurch to Dubai, and flies from Dubai to several British airports. Basic round trip fares start at $2460 plus taxes but there are frequent specials. See www.emirates.com or call 0508 364 728.
Further Information
The main website for information about visiting Britain is www.visitbritain.com. Britain's Pork Pie Appreciation Society is on the web at www.porkpieclub.com.
