Eli Orzessek: Why I hate Air NZ safety videos

The airline's latest video offering has Eli Orzessek wondering whether the novelty idea's had its day.

As Air New Zealand released its latest safety video today, I found myself remembering the last time I was forced to sit through one.

It was during a flight from Brisbane to Auckland about six months ago, when I found myself sympathising with Sir Bob Jones.

Like many others, I'd enjoyed a moment of schadenfreude when the rich-lister was unceremoniously kicked off an Air New Zealand flight last year following an altercation over an exit-row seat and a safety demonstration.

But as I sat there, watching the All Blacks and Stan Walker murder Men in Black for the fifth or sixth time that year, I realised that it could very easily be me refusing to take part in the safety-briefing farce.

I fought the urge to cover my screen with my hand. In fact, I'm much more likely to zone out during a novelty safety video than I am during a live performance from a flight attendant.

Israel Dagg's "rapping" quickly becomes a form of mental torture - prior to his performance, I hadn't realised it was possible to rap off-key.

I asked Sir Bob about his experience, because I was certain the All Blacks video must have been the catalyst for his removal.

While he had not seen the video, he had certainly heard the complaints, he said.

"We are signatories to a United Nations agreement against 'cruel and unusual punishment', which is what an Air New Zealand flight crew's unneeded babble and their childish safety videos unquestionably constitute," he added.

Perhaps this is a little extreme - and we can't all purchase a private jet to avoid commercial carriers - but I'd definitely agree with the word "childish".

I'm begging you, Air New Zealand - please stop with the "funny" safety videos. Sure, that one with Snoop Dogg was kind of amusing, but the joke has really worn thin.

I could only get about halfway through the latest release starring Rhys Darby and Anna Faris - thankfully they didn't manage to get Taylor Swift - before zoning out.

I don't think I even noticed the part where they put their seat belts on.

And anyone who's seen Darby featured on television commercials knows that the man - talented as he may be - gets extremely grating on repeat viewings.

For frequent flyers, particularly those who take the short flight between Auckland and Wellington on a regular basis, these videos have become so mind-numbingly irritating that it's likely more people than ever are actually ignoring the rather important safety message contained somewhere within.

Perhaps the comedy videos are a bit of fun for international tourists, but what about visitors who don't speak English?

The humour in the videos is often uniquely Kiwi and could go over the heads of those not familiar with our quirks ... which could be important if a plane goes down one day and none of the passengers know what to do.

For now, I'd almost prefer the chaos of Jetstar to our national carrier.