Everyone is skating anticlockwise. Why, I ask Toni Stockham of Red Events, who's managing the rink. She says people automatically move anticlockwise at every session. "Maybe in the Northern Hemisphere they skate clockwise!"
Staff skater Isobel Ou Yang and Botany figure skater Vanessa Preston, 12, are head and shoulders above everyone else, with Vanessa executing hooks and mohawk moves. Both encourage ice etiquette, stopping to help anyone who falls.
Isobel gives pointers, "Start from a V and take little steps", and gradually skaters venture away from the edges and pick up speed and confidence. If you've rollerbladed, you'll find the technique similar.
Vanessa likes the seaside setting and finds the surface okay, but not ideal, for her tricks. "It's really different, especially with Rangitoto in the background," she says. "It's sad seeing people fall over but at least they're giving it a go."
And that includes cousin Teagan and best friend Brooke, whom she has brought along.
Parent Lauren Waugh appreciates having a penguin for Jordan, 2, "because I can lean on it as well! It's really fun and it teaches the kids balance. The penguin's a lifesaver to stop Jordan falling."
Lisa Cousins is surprised how long her children Kirra, 7, and Isla, 5, have stayed on the ice. "I think Disney on Ice is the driving force; Kirra knows she's going to it in June. This is great for Aucklanders because we don't see ice or snow here."
So, the verdict? Jamie: "It was fun." Louis: "It was good to be ice skating, I haven't done that since I was 3."
We return our skates, which Toni tells me are heated and dried out at night "but they are hire boots so we ask people to wear socks".
Luckily the appetite we've worked up can be catered for just across the road at Mission Bay's assortment of cafes, and some let kids eat free if accompanied by parents with ice skating passes.
THE FACTS
What: More FM Mission Bay on Ice
Where: Selwyn Reserve. Limited to 100 skaters per session, sessions start on the hour and last 45 minutes.
When: Until May 5.
Price: Adults $20, children $16 (includes skate hire).
The rink: Measuring 17m x 17m, it features 5000 litres of water frozen inside 6km of refrigeration piping.