Hearing the theme to Titanic echoing around the small but perfectly formed Orion cruise ship as you board is, it has to be said, a little disconcerting.
I shake it off. This is, after all, no trans-Atlantic pilgrimage but rather a 10-day jaunt through the balmy waters of the South
Pacific. The prospect of rogue icebergs is, surely, slim.
And to be honest, the bigger immediate threat to my wellbeing is the absence of cellphone coverage, newspapers and TV. I feel a surge of panic. How will the world cope with me being cut off from it for so long? The cold sweat subsides a little with canapes and champagne, and a little more with a look around.
The Orion isn't any old liner - it represents grand luxury, in a small package. Where other cruise ships can accommodate thousands of guests, Orion takes just 106 passengers, plus a crew of 75. That far more manageable number and high crew-to-guest ratio means your needs are never lost in the crowd and the quality of food and service remain impeccable.
The largely Filipino crew all seem to have names such as Renaldo, Dexter, or Edwardo - I feel a Love Boat moment coming on. My husband and I are just settling into our roles of "Mr Mike" and "Madame Carolyne" when it's time for our first dinner.
It is an occasion where passengers are encouraged to dress up and mingle. There are no tables for two onboard, just for six, which means compulsory mixing. Think of it as speed dating your fellow guests. It can be a little daunting at first but talking about the impressive dinners onboard proves an excellent way to break the ice.
The food is outstanding and quickly becomes a highlight. As does our cabin. Teak-lined, it has a vast window instead of a porthole, a comfy bed and a generous bathroom. It's a perfect spot to retreat to after a day exploring hot islands.
First stop on this cruise, though, is a foggy Russell in the Bay of Islands. After a day exploring via one of the dozen zodiacs that ferry passengers on expeditions, the ship departs New Zealand for Norfolk Island, off the Queensland coast.
Norfolk is a little more challenging, thanks to wet weather, which causes our zodiac to bob perilously on entry. Then I manage to chill the locals' warm welcome by asking to see Cockpit Reserve - of all the historic sights on Norfolk, I ask to visit the site of its first murder in 150 years; the place Janelle Patton was found after she was stabbed by New Zealander Glenn McNeill. Once a journalist always a journalist.
Norfolk Island also boasts plenty of duty-free shopping but my luxury cabin is calling so I reboard the Uranus and head back to Orion for an indulgent afternoon "nana" nap. That's the best thing about travelling this way. There are always off-ship excursions available but you can do as much or as little as you want. If you don't feel like exploring there are many activities on board to enjoy - yoga, spa treatments, quiz afternoons, or reading in the library.
From Norfolk, the ship heads for New Caledonia and the stunning Isle of Pines. Here, there are few qualms about leaving the onboard luxury for a day of snorkelling.
That proves quite a way to work up an appetite so we decide, back on Orion, to enjoy dinner alfresco, under candle-light. Our dinner companions are Ray, a gregarious former FBI prosecutor, and his wife Valerie. It's a perfect, still night and Orion's executive chef Lothar Greiner is treating us to a six-course degustation menu with matching wines. We've chosen our dinner companions well: they are part owners of Queenstown's Gibbston Valley winery, so we have our own wine experts to guide us through the meal.
From the Isle of Pines we sail north again, to Vanuatu and Tanna Island. As we approach Tanna, we are welcomed with singing and dancing by gorgeous local children.
It's a lovely introduction to the island, although the main sight we've come to see is rather less serene: the active volcano Yasur.
And we are seeing it, but not by sailing past at a safe distance. Oh no. We are seeing it from the lip of the volcano as it casually spits red hot rocks in our direction. I imagine OSH staff all over New Zealand flinching at the very thought. Here, our safety advice is a casual suggestion that should we be caught in a major eruption, we should fight the instinct to run for it. I'm not making any promises.
This is as far from five-star as you get on this trip. To get here we are loaded into the back of all the utes Tanna Island can muster and rattled through dense jungle for 90 minutes. We reach the volcano at dusk and climb for 10 minutes to the crater's edge. At first there is just the odd plume of steam and it all feels slightly underwhelming. But right on nightfall, the fireworks begin and it is a-ma-zing - a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
Our other stop in this area is neighbouring Mystery Island, where we have the honour of being the first tourists to meet the locals. We tour the village in steaming tropical heat and watch the making of kava. Three men studiously chew and spit the root, which has been mixed with water, into a bucket. I feel squeamish but Ray takes a swig. He says it tastes like socks. We have no reason to doubt him.
Sadly we're now on the last leg of our cruise, bound for Port Vila after 10 glorious, luxury-drenched days.
As first-time cruise guests, we started this journey with some trepidation. It's a beautiful ship, but initially the thought of being confined onboard made us nervous.
However, as we sail into Port Vila there is sadness that we aren't continuing on the next leg to Papua New Guinea.
We are leaving good people; new friends who challenged a prejudice or two. They reminded us that whatever your age or abilities, you should make the most of life; and that cruises can be so much more than endless rounds of shuffleboard on the lido deck.
The expedition cruises on the Orion are a fantastic way to discover new cultures and places, all wrapped in the luxuries of a high-end resort.
Most importantly it was enforced relaxation - a great panacea for workaholics. As we sail into Port Vila I reluctantly switch on my cellphone. The cacophony of text messages is deafening. First message: 'Where are you?'
It's my boss. Reality beckons.
Carolyne Meng-Yee was a guest of Orion cruises and returned to New Zealand with Air NZ.
Cruise: Ship to shore
The Orion is a small, but perfectly formed, luxury cruise ship. Photo / Supplied
Hearing the theme to Titanic echoing around the small but perfectly formed Orion cruise ship as you board is, it has to be said, a little disconcerting.
I shake it off. This is, after all, no trans-Atlantic pilgrimage but rather a 10-day jaunt through the balmy waters of the South
AdvertisementAdvertise with NZME.
