KEY POINTS:
The details vary, but there's a refrain in Xi'an that's so common it must be taught in kindy: "If you want to see China of the past 100 years, go to Shanghai. If you want to see China of the past 1000 years, go to Beijing. But if
you want to see China of the past 5000 years, go to Xi'an."
For a coast-hugging Kiwi, it's an odd sensation to know you're a 13-hour schlep by train from the sea. That much land doesn't seem natural.
But the 7 million locals still seem pretty proud to be living in a region that was swinging while the Pharoahs were still coming to grips with walking like an Egyptian.
Any doubts over the claim crumble as you leave the airport, 50km from Xi'an, the capital of Shaanxi province, and find a dead flat farmscape dotted with discreet lumps.
Each oversized molehill covers the tomb of an ancient emperor from one of the 13 dynasties that called Xi'an home. And they're everywhere.
Then there are the terracotta warriors, the shattered mud men slowly being reassembled under three massive roofs only a short bus ride from the other side of town.
Much like the pyramids, it's hard to comprehend the devotion or submission which allowed such a complex project to be commissioned by an uppity teenager who somehow successfully united his country.
Only in this case, instead of inspiring awe among all who followed, his creations were left buried until an angry horde broke in and got pre-medieval on their collective ass. (Just quietly, there's a local conspiracy theory that it's a huge hoax to lift the city above provincial backwater status.)
But never mind that, because for history buffs Xi'an is worth the price of admission for simply marking the eastern end of the Silk Road, possibly the most important trade route in the world north of Great South Rd.
To the west was sent paper, gunpowder and silk; and the east, well, they got Marco Polo, Wham! and the Opium Wars, which not even the city's ancient wall, the only complete example left in China, could keep out.
Ageing locals still gather under its ramparts of an evening for old-fashioned, Communist-era knees-ups as younger types discreetly dish out cards touting the local hookers. Bless.
But if the new generation roadways leading to the impressive Drum Tower in the city centre are more pig's ear than silky, they are great viewing.
Driving in China is ... let's just say it's different. Lanes are more indicative than compulsory. Pull up some kerb and enjoy an indefatigable traffic officer as he "controls" an intersection with nothing more than a glare, a ramrod back, and a white glove.
A queue forms: rusty trucks rattle between collapsing taxis which fume against old men carrying what look like bridge parts on tricycles. Everyone's eating, drinking, smoking and spitting, often all at once, as the last cars dribble across in front of them.
Then the officer comes round with a snap. A quick blur of glove, a look of death, and it's all on. Buses, elephants, clowns on bikes, disappear hither, thither and then some in a cloud of exhaust smoke.
The strutting glove and stare are now invisible, it's just "let me get through this alive" as a queue reforms on the other road.
Oh, simple pleasures, but if that's not your speed there's the Islamic market just round the corner: Maoist trinkets for Africa, and prices that would be cheap in Africa.
Just keep your hand on your wallet and your eyes off the bloody annoying hawkers.
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GETTING THERE
Presently Air New Zealand flies direct to Shanghai three days a week. On-line fares start from $1978 including airport and government costs. Flights will increase to five a week from October 31.
WHILE YOU'RE THERE
Xi'an: Terracotta warriors, naturally, but also traditional food and dance at the Tang Dynasty, tat at the Islamic market, tranquillity at Big Wild Goose Pagoda, and the big picture at the Shaanxi History Museum.
Shanghai: Visit the Propaganda Museum, Qibao Temple, the Huaihai shopping district and T8 restaurant and bar.
Beijing: The standard stops, the Great Wall, Tiananmen Square, Forbidden City and the Ming Tombs are musts. But also check out the Green Tea House (6 Gongti Xi Lu Chaoyang) and My Humble House (west side of Oriental Plaza).
FOR FURTHER INFORMATION
www.travelchinaguide.com and www.airnz.co.nz.
*Alan Perrott visited China as guest of Air New Zealand.