Winter is coming

Instead of strapping the skis on the top of the Range Rover and driving all the way down to Whakapapa, would the ski set be able to make do with the north slopes of Mt Eden for their winter fix?

Winter is coming. I don't mean that in a Game Of Thrones sense, although the more extensive use of the snow machine in some scenes does tend to suggest that their long-proclaimed winter, the one that they have ambled towards for four series now, may be just around the corner.

In GoT time it could be even as close as two to three series before someone looks out at the snow and gloomily proclaims that "winter is here".

No, I mean that winter is coming in an actual sense, in that winter is coming. I know this because the TV weather people are using the term "polar blast". The term "polar blast" makes it sound like winter is sponsored by a breath mint company. It would not surprise me if corporate seasonal sponsorship is just around the corner.

Other ways I know winter is coming are: it is more difficult to get out of bed in the morning (although the sound of the shower running somewhere in the house still does the trick); when I do eventually get up there are often sightings of blinking teenagers gathered round the gas fire, soaking up all its heat; and when I watch Game Of Thrones on the TV there are small, furry felines attached to my chest and I don't actually mind. Oh, and yeah, it's a bit colder.

But what does winter in Auckland actually mean? Yes, it is definitely a few degrees colder. And it does rain more than usual, and in a way that isn't only those storms sweeping in from the Tasman Sea. And, if we get really lucky, we may even get a touch of frost on a few occasions over the coming months. And, well, that's about it really.

There are those Aucklanders, inevitably ones not born in Auckland, who lament Auckland's lack of an actual winter. These are the people who bang on about their childhood winters, running around on frost-coated grass in their bare feet until their legs were numb. They rhapsodise about the feel of true cold on your cheeks, and the way every breath was actually like inhaling a polar blast. ("Winter! Brought to you by Polar Blast mints! Like having Antarctica in your mouth!")

I do wonder, from time to time, what Auckland would be like if it had an actual winter. I'm not talking about the winter of the heartland winter nostalgia bore; nor am I talking about the long-foretold winter of Game Of Thrones where we'd all get killed (eventually) by white walkers. No I'm talking about the winter of cities like New York and Moscow, where winter looks like a winter should, with snow and stuff.

For starters, I think if Auckland had a wintry winter then we would have a much more evolved public transport system. Currently, if so much as a single snowflake fell on the Northwestern Motorway, traffic would simply grind to a halt (even more than it does now, on a day-to-day basis). We would definitely have the underground rail system Mayor Len so cravenly craves. Hang in there, Len. Who knows, maybe climate change will grant your wish!

Would we, could we, have our own ski-fields? Instead of strapping the skis on the top of the Range Rover and driving all the way down to Whakapapa, would the ski set be able to make do with the north slopes of Mt Eden for their winter fix? Come to think of it, would having an actual winter provide an actual excuse for driving a Range Rover round Auckland?

The clothes would be good. I like winter clothes; hats, scarves and especially those big winter coats you pull on and just disappear into; where the elements outside the coat are what happen to other people. Unfortunately, currently, there are about two nights in an Auckland winter when I can wear such a coat without sweating profusely. Sartorially speaking, an actual winter would suit me to the snow-covered ground.

And, in moderation, snow is a good thing unto itself. It is aesthetically pleasing; it provides exercise when you shovel it off your driveway; and it can be an excellent excuse for not leaving the house and going to things you don't want to go to - like work or school or a play everyone says you "should" see. "Sorry, got snowed in for the entire run, but I heard it was great."

Unfortunately the definition of an Auckland winter is "those months of the year when you might need to wear an extra layer" rather than the season that throws up snow-covered excuses to, just off the top of my head, stay home and watch TV3 at 8.30pm on Sunday nights.

Mind you, winter is kind of here so it shouldn't be ruled out.

- Canvas