Self-help spread feeds needy and cynical

By SHELLEY HOWELLS

One of the main benefits - and perils - of the net is anonymity. It is possible to pursue kinky interests, bad habits and embarrassing fixations without the distraction of your Nearest and Dearest pointing and laughing.

One such potential vice is Self Help.

Thanks to the net, you can lift your self-esteem, grow as a person, become more assertive, discover your inner child - and an occasional cleansing catharsis - without running the risk of being caught with a dog-eared copy of Men Are From Mars (etc) or similar mortifying evidence.

As a woman with at least 12 highly effective habits and self-esteem so high people flinch when I walk by, it was decided that I should feel the fear and investigate net self-help anyway.

First stop-natch-is Oprah.

The Queen of TV Talk has, over recent years, moved away from Bulimic Moms Who Sleep with their ADD Stepsons' Racist Therapists (more Ricki Lake's territory these days).

Oprah is into uplifting self-help, and her main man is drawling, balding Texan psychologist Dr Phil McGraw. He's a major presence on Oprah's web site via extensive, interactive follow-up material on topics covered in the show - and his best-selling self-help books.

At present there's an online Dr Phil workbook of 20 written exercises that aim to have the user "get real" about their life, as well as exercises to uncover one's "authentic" self. All this is backed up with audio and video of Dr Phil. But if you want warm fuzzies avoid Dr Phil, whose nickname is Dr Tell It Like It Is.

Next up is the online presence of Self Help Magazine. It lacks the multimedia cools and design style of Oprah, but has sheer bulk - hundreds of articles on everything from stress-management to sexual problems to relationships.

Interactive elements include busy message boards on every topic, as well as a free monthly emailed newsletter (always use a "junk" mail address for this sort of thing) including articles from the magazine. This month's offerings: "Self-Inflicted Violence: Helping Those Who Hurt Themselves", "Self Suppression" and "Anger: What Is It? and Why".

Inner Self spreads the net wide by including articles on things like astrology, channelling and spirituality along with common-or-garden issues such as parenting and weight-loss.

Self Help for Her, for the gals only, is offering a free 6-week e-mail course on Awakening the Goddess Within (aka: increasing your confidence). My goddess is still snoring, but there are a few weeks left.

Self Growth is mainly good for links, especially its direct lines to Self Help Gurus' sites. Its links to hundreds of IQ and personality tests are best avoided until you have done a few self-esteem courses.

Feeling a little wired after all that goal-setting and awareness? Try the serene Calm Centre, which is guaranteed to soothe jangled nerves.

If all that's too po-faced, check out the Romanian Mint Rubbing Association, a parody of online self-help sites, or read an excerpt from Who Cut the Cheese, a take-off of self-help bestseller Who Moved My Cheese?

Chicken Soup for the Soulless is for the cynics.

Oprah

Ricki Lake

Self Help Magazine

Inner Self

Self Help For Her

Self Growth

Calm Centre

Romanian Mint Rubbing Association

Who Cut the Cheese

Chicken Soup for the Soulless