Putting the personality sites to the test

CHRIS DANIELS discovers his inner persian and finds he is a moderately histrionic, left-wing libertarian with enormous untapped potential.

* The Purrsonality Test - What breed of cat are you? Strange multiple-choice questions here, such as: "What is your opinion of base nature's drives for money, sex, power etc?" which apparently determine what kind of cat you are. No questions about scratching the sides of sofas and spraying on potplants. Turns out I am a persian - the most famous breed of cats, upper-class and all that. I'd prefer to be a tabby.

* Free Online IQ Test - 40 questions, of various types, to be answered within a 30-minute time limit. Sample: "What does not fit? Black, yellow, green, turquoise, purple."

Test takes the full half-hour and, in the opinion of this guinea pig, is both really hard and extremely boring. But that might be because it said I had an IQ of 94. But it wasn't fair because I ran out of time and couldn't answer the last eight questions.

* Keirsey Temperament Sorter II - designed to work out what kind of personality - guardian, rational, idealist or artisan - you are. Luckily there are no right or wrong answers, nor are there right or wrong personality types. Tell Hannibal Lecter.

Seventy questions like: "Are you ideational rather than sensible or sensible rather than ideational?" It said that I am an artisan. I am also fun-loving, optimistic, realistic, and focused on the here and now. But then so are 35 to 40 per cent of the population, so it then asks you to pay US$14.95 to get a more detailed appraisal. What's the fun in that?

* The Big Five Personality Test - this quiz is apparently being run as part of an experiment by some professor of psychology. It purports to measure "the five fundamental dimensions of personality". There are 52 statements to put a dot alongside a scale. It told me I had an Extraversion percentile score of 72, "which means that about 72 per cent of the people in our comparison sample are less extraverted than you".

* Personality Disorder Test - 70 yes/no questions along the lines of : "Do you have intense feelings of inadequacy and helplessness?" or, "Have other people accused you of being cruel to animals or people?" I was low on all the paranoid, schizoid, schizotypal, antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, avoidant, dependent, and obsessive-compulsive scales. Unfortunately I'm moderately histrionic, but that doesn't sound like much of a disorder to me. And who the hell do they think they are?

* Anger Test - a panoply of tests. I chose the career test, which asked a lot of obvious questions like "How important is career advancement to you - very important, an added bonus, or not important at all?" I scored 55 on a 1-100 scale, meaning I was fairly happy at the moment. It then moved on to say I scored 53 for untapped potential, and for a mere $US6.20 I could learn more. Untapped wallet, more like.

* Emotional Intelligence Test - I have an emotional intelligence of 115 - a little below the 150 required for emotional genius.

Apparently I can recognise and deal with my own emotions and those of others in a reasonably effective manner. Once again, I had a lot of untapped potential that I could discover for another small payment of $US6.20 ... Hmmm. Might be a pattern developing.

* Political Compass - a fantastic little quiz listing 60 statements which you use to rate yourself on a four-point scale. Such as: "The businessman and the manufacturer are more important than the writer and the artist. (Strongly agree, agree, disagree, strongly disagree)" or, "Astrology can explain many more things than most people presently realise." Then it plots all your answers on a four-axis graph - authoritarian, libertarian, left-wing, right wing. Very good, thoroughly recommended, everyone should do this and get aware - but that's what a left libertarian would say, wouldn't he?

* Colorgenics - the science of life enhancement through colours: "Explore the personality spectrum and get valuable insights into your life!" Eight different coloured cubes rotate on the screen. Pick which colours you like in order. It told me: "You are looking for something different. Your imagination has been working overtime and you are seeking adventure - and you'd like to share that adventure, the new experience, with someone like yourself: Imaginative, Enthusiastic and Sensitive." My imagination was working overtime trying to understand what that meant.

* Who's Your Inner Rock Star? - 15 multiple-choice questions such as: "It's 11.30 on a Thursday night. You're most likely to be (a) asleep, (b) watching television, (c) hanging out with friends, (d) getting ready to go out on the town and rock." Somehow my inner rock star is Ricky Martin. Oh well, at least it wasn't Celine Dion.

* Emode - aimed primarily at women. Some very funny tests, others just a little bit sad, such as: "What do you want in a man? or, "Is he marriage material?" And, "When's My Wedding Date?" Your net asked one young woman about town to take the latter and it told her: "Don't get your hopes up to hear those wedding bells soon, because your bridesmaid days aren't over just yet YOU WILL BE MARRIED BY: Saturday, August 13, 2005." Her verdict: "I am unclear how this conclusion was reached based on the sorts of questions asked, such as whether I think Jell-o is sexy or if I wash the sink after I've cleaned my teeth!

The Purrsonality Test

IQ Test

Keirsey Temperament Sorter II

The Big Five Personality Test

Personality Disorder test

Anger test

Emotional Intelligence test

Political Compass

Who is your inner rock star?

Emode

Colorgenics