By PETER SINCLAIR
"Attract Women Instantly!" it raves. "Invisible, undetectable, Nature's secret weapon!"
Lechery can't operate in a vacuum, so readers unlucky in love might want to try stealth tactics by investing in a bottle of Pheromone Cologne for Men which, it is promised, will heighten her sensual responses to a feverish
pitch.
The only report I've read says these products smell like old sneakers, but hey, if that's what it takes ...
It's probably the most under-rated of the senses, yet smell has always played a crucial role in the mating game — for better (a dozen red roses) or worse (legendary French beauty Ninon de Lenclos, believed strong cheese would do the trick, and she should know — she had upwards of 5000 lovers and I bet not one of them kissed her).
In a past column, the Sleuth reported on DigiScents' iSmell Personal Scent Synthesizer, a projected plug'n'play peripheral for your computer which claims to combine a base of 128 scents into thousands of familiar odours which built-in cues will eventually inject into video games, e-mail and interactive entertainment.
You are invited to join First Whiff, the program which keeps you downwind of the latest news in digital scent technology.
Wired magazine, famed for its scepticism, suggests the system might actually work. At the same time, Wired is also known for its keen sense of the ridiculous. iSmell was due for release early last year but there's still not a sniff of it in the stores, so you can't help wondering if it mightn't be the net's longest-running spoof.
Certainly hoax entered my mind when, researching an
article on Christmas presents from hell, I came across a fragrance called — brace yourself — Funeral Parlour. It had to be some sort of sick joke, right?
Wrong. This lily-derived scent is part of the wildly idiosyncratic line of Demeter perfumes which is one of the hottest trends on the web.
Its goal is to create scents which are drawn from memories, the universal odours — cut grass, leather, cinnamon toast — which are the comfort smells in all our lives.
Freighted with childhood memory, like comfort foods they are designed to carry you back to a simpler, brighter, less invidious world.
Taking its name from the Greek goddess of agriculture, Demeter has scored a runaway success with collections like Virtual Garden, which contains three down-home fragrances: dirt, grass and tomato.
Some of its more than 150 single-note scents have become favourites of stars like Drew Barrymore, Cher and Sharon Stone. But, at under $US20 ($46) each, they still fit a low-profile budget and are intended to allow the daily experience of special-occasion fragrance.
Each is hand-blended, but to capture the citrusy aroma of, say, gin and tonic, Demeter employs Headspace Technology, a system which breaks down the scent molecules and extracts a reproducible formula.
Ginger ale, vinyl, lettuce, holy water, creme brulee: all are packaged in simple apothecary shapes with calming, encouraging, poetic labels.
On the other hand, when things aren't going as planned, you might want to accentuate the angst with something from the Attitude Adjustment Collection: Jilted, Bitter, Manic, Fed Up.
And if it all turns to custard and he marches out of your life forever, Demeter can offer an appropriate goodbye: send him a bottle of Mildew.
Links:
Pheromone Cologne for Men
Ninon de Lenclos
DigiScents
Wired
Demeter perfumes
E-mail: petersinclair@email.com
Pay just
per week ongoing
Pay just
per year ongoing
30
