Peter Sinclair: Computer games investigated

A little bit of frittering never hurt anyone ...

Recovering from a minor staph infection last week was a great excuse for not doing anything much. As the Israelis and Palestinians continued to rehearse Armageddon, as American democracy was shaken to its foundations, what was I doing?

I was playing computer games - which, frankly, seems to me the proper New Zealand response to both crises.

Life is generally real and earnest for the Sleuth and he leaves computer games to friskier colleagues (such as the Herald's online game reviews), but in this case there was a godson with a birthday to be considered.

I saw it as my godpaternal duty to thoroughly investigate the RollerCoaster Tycoon Added Attractions Pack to make quite sure it contained nothing which might harm his little psyche - he is only 12, a sensitive age (in the same way that a Sherman tank is sensitive).

It didn't, but it certainly harmed mine - I had so much fun I nearly suffered a relapse.

Never have so many giddy theme-park visitors staggered off so many hair-raising corkscrew thrill-rides and thrown up so violently as they did on my footpaths. Candy-floss sales are surging, the bumper-boats are doing well and only a few visitors have drowned in the lake.

At the same time, I felt he might enjoy the new Sims expansion pack, Livin' Large.

Well, he might, but he's not getting it - I like its new neighbourhoods; I love its kitsch new furnishings like the Tiki dresser, ceramic elephant end-table and head in a jar on pedestal; I enjoy the satirical sleaze of some of its new inhabitants, a shady population of hackers and slackers and even (shudder) journalists. But (call me old-fashioned) I feel my godson is not yet ready to cope with heart-shaped beds which, well, vibrate ...

More wholesome, in the sense that it contains no beds at all, just locker-rooms, is Adidas Beat Rugby, a sensationally interactive if highly commercialised local offering from the hot Saatchi and Saatchi shop in Wellington.

Also associated with Swatch (if you want to know how many beats there are per day in the nightless, dayless continuum of cyberspace, visit their site), Beat Rugby is targeted at 13-18-year-olds.

The Sleuth fearlessly predicts it will appeal to a far wider demograph than that.

Once downloaded and installed, you play it off your hard drive, and you'll have to put in the hard yards to get on to the global leader-board, for until you reach a minimum score in practice mode you can't play in tests or trials. I can vouch for the sense of elation you feel when you win your first scrum.

Already released in Europe, Beat Rugby is exciting and impressive - but I must ask his father whether my godson has his own credit-card yet, because the opportunities to buy Adidas gear are far too frequent and much too tempting for any red-blooded 12-year-old to resist.

I wonder if I shouldn't get him Baldur's Gate II: Shadows of Amn instead?

No vibrating beds, nothing to buy, just good old-fashioned swords and sorcery and I think I've got plenty of time to master it before Florida gets sorted out and America settles back into its normal routine of making money and lecturing the rest of the world on how to run a democracy.

Links:

Herald Online game reviews

RollerCoaster Tycoon

Sims


Adidas Beat Rugby

Saatchi and Saatchi shop in Wellington

Swatch

Baldur's Gate II: Shadows of Amn