NZ Herald
  • Home
  • Latest news
  • Herald NOW
  • Video
  • New Zealand
  • Sport
  • World
  • Business
  • Entertainment
  • Podcasts
  • Quizzes
  • Opinion
  • Lifestyle
  • Travel
  • Viva
  • Weather

Subscriptions

  • Herald Premium
  • Viva Premium
  • The Listener
  • BusinessDesk

Sections

  • Latest news
  • New Zealand
    • All New Zealand
    • Crime
    • Politics
    • Education
    • Open Justice
    • Scam Update
  • Herald NOW
  • On The Up
  • World
    • All World
    • Australia
    • Asia
    • UK
    • United States
    • Middle East
    • Europe
    • Pacific
  • Business
    • All Business
    • MarketsSharesCurrencyCommoditiesStock TakesCrypto
    • Markets with Madison
    • Media Insider
    • Business analysis
    • Personal financeKiwiSaverInterest ratesTaxInvestment
    • EconomyInflationGDPOfficial cash rateEmployment
    • Small business
    • Business reportsMood of the BoardroomProject AucklandSustainable business and financeCapital markets reportAgribusiness reportInfrastructure reportDynamic business
    • Deloitte Top 200 Awards
    • CompaniesAged CareAgribusinessAirlinesBanking and financeConstructionEnergyFreight and logisticsHealthcareManufacturingMedia and MarketingRetailTelecommunicationsTourism
  • Opinion
    • All Opinion
    • Analysis
    • Editorials
    • Business analysis
    • Premium opinion
    • Letters to the editor
  • Politics
  • Sport
    • All Sport
    • OlympicsParalympics
    • RugbySuper RugbyNPCAll BlacksBlack FernsRugby sevensSchool rugby
    • CricketBlack CapsWhite Ferns
    • Racing
    • NetballSilver Ferns
    • LeagueWarriorsNRL
    • FootballWellington PhoenixAuckland FCAll WhitesFootball FernsEnglish Premier League
    • GolfNZ Open
    • MotorsportFormula 1
    • Boxing
    • UFC
    • BasketballNBABreakersTall BlacksTall Ferns
    • Tennis
    • Cycling
    • Athletics
    • SailingAmerica's CupSailGP
    • Rowing
  • Lifestyle
    • All Lifestyle
    • Viva - Food, fashion & beauty
    • Society Insider
    • Royals
    • Sex & relationships
    • Food & drinkRecipesRecipe collectionsRestaurant reviewsRestaurant bookings
    • Health & wellbeing
    • Fashion & beauty
    • Pets & animals
    • The Selection - Shop the trendsShop fashionShop beautyShop entertainmentShop giftsShop home & living
    • Milford's Investing Place
  • Entertainment
    • All Entertainment
    • TV
    • MoviesMovie reviews
    • MusicMusic reviews
    • BooksBook reviews
    • Culture
    • ReviewsBook reviewsMovie reviewsMusic reviewsRestaurant reviews
  • Travel
    • All Travel
    • News
    • New ZealandNorthlandAucklandWellingtonCanterburyOtago / QueenstownNelson-TasmanBest NZ beaches
    • International travelAustraliaPacific IslandsEuropeUKUSAAfricaAsia
    • Rail holidays
    • Cruise holidays
    • Ski holidays
    • Luxury travel
    • Adventure travel
  • Kāhu Māori news
  • Environment
    • All Environment
    • Our Green Future
  • Talanoa Pacific news
  • Property
    • All Property
    • Property Insider
    • Interest rates tracker
    • Residential property listings
    • Commercial property listings
  • Health
  • Technology
    • All Technology
    • AI
    • Social media
  • Rural
    • All Rural
    • Dairy farming
    • Sheep & beef farming
    • Horticulture
    • Animal health
    • Rural business
    • Rural life
    • Rural technology
    • Opinion
    • Audio & podcasts
  • Weather forecasts
    • All Weather forecasts
    • Kaitaia
    • Whangārei
    • Dargaville
    • Auckland
    • Thames
    • Tauranga
    • Hamilton
    • Whakatāne
    • Rotorua
    • Tokoroa
    • Te Kuiti
    • Taumaranui
    • Taupō
    • Gisborne
    • New Plymouth
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Dannevirke
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Levin
    • Paraparaumu
    • Masterton
    • Wellington
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Blenheim
    • Westport
    • Reefton
    • Kaikōura
    • Greymouth
    • Hokitika
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
    • Wānaka
    • Oamaru
    • Queenstown
    • Dunedin
    • Gore
    • Invercargill
  • Meet the journalists
  • Promotions & competitions
  • OneRoof property listings
  • Driven car news

Puzzles & Quizzes

  • Puzzles
    • All Puzzles
    • Sudoku
    • Code Cracker
    • Crosswords
    • Cryptic crossword
    • Wordsearch
  • Quizzes
    • All Quizzes
    • Morning quiz
    • Afternoon quiz
    • Sports quiz

Regions

  • Northland
    • All Northland
    • Far North
    • Kaitaia
    • Kerikeri
    • Kaikohe
    • Bay of Islands
    • Whangarei
    • Dargaville
    • Kaipara
    • Mangawhai
  • Auckland
  • Waikato
    • All Waikato
    • Hamilton
    • Coromandel & Hauraki
    • Matamata & Piako
    • Cambridge
    • Te Awamutu
    • Tokoroa & South Waikato
    • Taupō & Tūrangi
  • Bay of Plenty
    • All Bay of Plenty
    • Katikati
    • Tauranga
    • Mount Maunganui
    • Pāpāmoa
    • Te Puke
    • Whakatāne
  • Rotorua
  • Hawke's Bay
    • All Hawke's Bay
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Havelock North
    • Central Hawke's Bay
    • Wairoa
  • Taranaki
    • All Taranaki
    • Stratford
    • New Plymouth
    • Hāwera
  • Manawatū - Whanganui
    • All Manawatū - Whanganui
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Manawatū
    • Tararua
    • Horowhenua
  • Wellington
    • All Wellington
    • Kapiti
    • Wairarapa
    • Upper Hutt
    • Lower Hutt
  • Nelson & Tasman
    • All Nelson & Tasman
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Tasman
  • Marlborough
  • West Coast
  • Canterbury
    • All Canterbury
    • Kaikōura
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
  • Otago
    • All Otago
    • Oamaru
    • Dunedin
    • Balclutha
    • Alexandra
    • Queenstown
    • Wanaka
  • Southland
    • All Southland
    • Invercargill
    • Gore
    • Stewart Island
  • Gisborne

Media

  • Video
    • All Video
    • NZ news video
    • Herald NOW
    • Business news video
    • Politics news video
    • Sport video
    • World news video
    • Lifestyle video
    • Entertainment video
    • Travel video
    • Markets with Madison
    • Kea Kids news
  • Podcasts
    • All Podcasts
    • The Front Page
    • On the Tiles
    • Ask me Anything
    • The Little Things
  • Cartoons
  • Photo galleries
  • Today's Paper - E-editions
  • Photo sales
  • Classifieds

NZME Network

  • Advertise with NZME
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • BusinessDesk
  • Newstalk ZB
  • Sunlive
  • ZM
  • The Hits
  • Coast
  • Radio Hauraki
  • The Alternative Commentary Collective
  • Gold
  • Flava
  • iHeart Radio
  • Hokonui
  • Radio Wanaka
  • iHeartCountry New Zealand
  • Restaurant Hub
  • NZME Events

SubscribeSign In
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Home / Sport

The Clubrooms by Dylan Cleaver: Why Black Caps cricket test series v England is worth losing sleep over

Dylan Cleaver
By Dylan Cleaver
Sports Editor at Large·NZ Herald·
31 May, 2021 04:00 AM8 mins to read

Subscribe to listen

Access to Herald Premium articles require a Premium subscription. Subscribe now to listen.
Already a subscriber?  Sign in here

Listening to articles is free for open-access content—explore other articles or learn more about text-to-speech.
‌
Save

    Share this article

    Reminder, this is a Premium article and requires a subscription to read.

Cheree Kinnear gives us the results from a packed weekend of sport.

OPINION:

Clubrooms
Clubrooms

As we enter the year's shortest days we also approach its sleepless nights.

Test cricket in England plays havoc with the body's circadian rhythms but it is wonderful for the soul.

A comfortable couch, blanket-and-pillow, strong coffee, a packet of Mackintosh's, cheese-on-toast in the "lunch" break, a warming dram of your favourite single malt, quality test cricket – it's possible that life gets better but I'm sceptical.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

The first session is rarely a challenge, but those lids tend to get heavy in the middle session. Watching cricket in a hypnagogic state can be quite trippy. Whether it's a good trip or a bad one depends largely on the state of the game when you recover full alertness during the last hour.

The odd power nap is recommended (though not necessarily with 20 overs to go of the ODI World Cup final, only to wake to find a bunch of Englishmen celebrating wildly).

There is an expectancy that New Zealand will perform well against England and make those long nights worth it.

Bowling coach Shane Jurgensen speaks to the Black Caps during a training session. Photo / Getty Images
Bowling coach Shane Jurgensen speaks to the Black Caps during a training session. Photo / Getty Images

For me, it feels a little more lottery-like. It has been a wet spring with plenty of rain-affected and rain-ruined matches in the County Championship. A combination of damp wickets and the celebrated Dukes ball has seen a number of epic top-order collapses.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Yes, England are weakened without the injured Ben Stokes and Jofra Archer and the resting Jos Buttler and Sam Curran, but they still have Stuart Broad and James Anderson – a new-ball partnership that has a mere 1131 wickets between them.

A lost toss and a tricky Lord's wicket and both will be salivating at the prospect of tearing into a lineup that hasn't faced a red ball in anger since January.

Discover more

Sport|rugby

Dylan Cleaver: Why we should celebrate mediocre, hapless Aussies

24 May 05:00 AM
Boxing

From Russia, with gloves: Meet NZ's 'mad' boxing legend in the making

18 May 04:30 AM
All Blacks

Dylan Cleaver: NZR must sell Silver Lake sandwich to the public - not the pigeons

18 May 01:30 AM
Super Rugby

Dylan Cleaver: Ranking the Crusaders' 12 Super Rugby titles

10 May 06:00 AM

There are several questions to be answered, not least whether Ross Taylor can rediscover his touch and get himself on the Lord's honours board in what will likely be his final attempt.

Will Gary Stead muscle Devon Conway into the lineup, stick with Tom Blundell, or elevate Will Young, who did his chances no harm by playing the opening four matches of the county season for Durham, notching two centuries at the top of the order?

Can New Zealand's vaunted attack function as smoothly without the absent Trent Boult?

Will Daryl Mitchell keep Colin de Grandhomme on the sidelines?

It's that uncertainty that makes this such a tantalising series; a series worth losing a lot of sleep over.

Winners and Losers
Winners and Losers

Winners

Thomas Tuchel

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

There was a time when the prospect of Chelsea winning the Champions League was laughable. That time was only a few months ago, when a clearly overwhelmed Frank Lampard was adding more ammunition to the theory that great players rarely make great managers.

Tuchel's turnaround has been in some respects revelatory, but it might be wise to pump the brakes on affording him messianic qualities. He did, after all, inherit a squad that had close to $390 million spent on it during the off-season for expressly this purpose.

Chelsea's Jorginho celebrates at the final whistle after the Blues won the Champions League final against Manchester City. Photo / Getty Images
Chelsea's Jorginho celebrates at the final whistle after the Blues won the Champions League final against Manchester City. Photo / Getty Images

What you cannot deny, however, is that he won the strategic battle over his rival, the otherworldly successful Pep Guardiola.

Naomi Osaka

Well, she hasn't won this battle about whether she needs to engage with the media yet, but here's hoping.

That might sound like an odd position for a sports reporter to take but for me, the bigger conceit is that anybody should be compelled to talk to the media, whether by contractual obligation or implication that it is "part of the job".

I would go even further and say that the charade of the organised press conference, media scrums, and prescribed availability has made sport a worse product.

Some athletes will enjoy media interaction, others will hate it. Some will seek attention, others will shrink from it.

Good, that's how characters evolve, good and bad. Not establishing a relationship with the media – and by extension the public – probably harms more athletes than it helps, especially commercially, but so be it, it should be their choice.

Instead, these staged interactions serve only to provide boilerplate quotes that clog up stories and bulletins that would have been a lot better without them.

If athletes were not forced to interact with the media there would be far less need for that scourge of sports journalism – the communications departments of teams and sporting organisations (and yes, that was partly tongue-in-cheek – some do it a lot better than others).

Losers

Scott Dixon

Using the excuse of a pre-Lord's trial run, the alarm went off at an ungodly hour for the 105th running of the Indianapolis 500.

It was a bad mistake, with close to two hours of some of the most inane build-up to a big event that I have had the misfortune to waste my audio-visual senses on.

The 105th Indianapolis 500, won by Helio Castroneves, was a bland race. Photo / Getty Images
The 105th Indianapolis 500, won by Helio Castroneves, was a bland race. Photo / Getty Images

That was followed by a bland race where "our" man Dixon was shafted when he was trapped out on course as his tank emptied, unable to come in for $40 of unleaded 91 because some lesser light had crashed his car while slowing down to enter the pits (arguably the most interesting thing to happen in the race).

As a closet motorsport fan in awe of the risks drivers and motorcycle riders take each time they start their engine it feels completely irresponsible to say this, especially on a weekend where Moto3 rider Jason Dupasquier died after crashing and being hit by another bike, but that race could really have done with more yellow flags.

Chiefs

Well, someone had to be the first.

The Reds showed the formula for beating the New Zealand teams is to give them a really niggly travel schedule, play a large chunk of the game with more personnel, run out to an unassailable lead and then stand by and watch it nearly be assailed.

The Aussies are on the board though, and it always felt like this was the most likely fixture to get off the schneid.

Letterbox
Letterbox

Sundown on Super Rugby

The Reds showed the formula for beating the New Zealand teams against the Chiefs in Super Rugby Transtasman. Photo / Photosport
The Reds showed the formula for beating the New Zealand teams against the Chiefs in Super Rugby Transtasman. Photo / Photosport

It is scary for the future financial prospects of "Super" rugby to think that in NZ, with no South African teams any more, the most powerful motivation is not to be the one to lose to an Aussies side. Australian sides are no longer competitive with New Zealand's, but their administrators won't address the player depth issue for political reasons. Initiatives to create Pacific Island teams are driven by politics and sentiment and don't stack up financially, while a competitive Argentine franchise is left out in the cold. The New Zealand division has been won by the same team five years straight (not something which will generate much excitement among casual viewers outside of Christchurch). Yet NZ Rugby propaganda is full of blinkered optimism. "Subject to New Zealand Rugby [NZR] board approval and key conditions being met, the international federation's executive committee has approved a £1.2 million [$2.34m] annual funding package for an initial three-year period to support the two franchises, Fijian Drua and Moana Pasifika. Both franchises will also be supported by their respective unions and private equity funding," says the NZR. "The decision was made following a detailed financial, performance and commercial feasibility study in partnership with NZR and the respective unions. The funding is conditional on these franchises satisfying the necessary financial criteria for entry." Really? Talk about an elephant in the room. Everyone keeps saying in the press how important it is and how wonderful it will be, while ignoring the fact that no one has yet been identified who is willing or able to pay for it. - Steven Bryce (letter abridged and edited for clarity)

Thanks, Steven. Fundamentally, you're probably right. Super Rugby is an unholy mess. As hard as I've tried to find positives in SR Transtasman you just have to throw your hands up and say it hasn't worked.

The finalists will be decided by which teams can lay the biggest humiliation down upon their opponents, which is hardly the bedrock for a quality comp.

The outline for future tournaments as you've alluded to looks unworkable, but here's a question I want to throw out to the rugby public, if there's still such a thing?

What's the solution?

People point to the glorious early years of the Super 12 but don't kid yourself – a lot of that was novelty factor and even before some of the more ill-conceived expansion efforts, fans had switched off from games against most South African opposition.

It is easy (and justifiable) to offer chapter and verse about the ills of Super Rugby in its current, recent past, and proposed future state, but what are the alternatives?

Media Snack
Media Snack

The Stanley Cup playoffs are on. There will be blood.

An ex-NBA star has something to say about mental health.

As a recent recruit to the world of ultra-marathon running, I have been surprised at just how much kit you have to lug around with you on the course during these magnificent events. Here's why.

Save

    Share this article

    Reminder, this is a Premium article and requires a subscription to read.

Latest from Sport

Premium
Opinion

Paul Lewis: The tough midfield choices facing the All Blacks

22 Jun 04:05 AM
Super Rugby

'Not sure yet' – Penney coy on Crusaders coaching future

22 Jun 03:29 AM
Premium
Rugby

How rugby data changed All Blacks selection process

22 Jun 02:00 AM

Jono and Ben brew up a tea-fuelled adventure in Sri Lanka

sponsored
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Latest from Sport

Premium
Paul Lewis: The tough midfield choices facing the All Blacks

Paul Lewis: The tough midfield choices facing the All Blacks

22 Jun 04:05 AM

OPINION: Potential players face tough competition for a spot in the All Blacks' midfield.

'Not sure yet' – Penney coy on Crusaders coaching future

'Not sure yet' – Penney coy on Crusaders coaching future

22 Jun 03:29 AM
Premium
How rugby data changed All Blacks selection process

How rugby data changed All Blacks selection process

22 Jun 02:00 AM
Premium
New All Blacks squad: The four rookies who could get call-up

New All Blacks squad: The four rookies who could get call-up

21 Jun 11:01 PM
Help for those helping hardest-hit
sponsored

Help for those helping hardest-hit

NZ Herald
  • About NZ Herald
  • Meet the journalists
  • Newsletters
  • Classifieds
  • Help & support
  • Contact us
  • House rules
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of use
  • Competition terms & conditions
  • Our use of AI
Subscriber Services
  • NZ Herald e-editions
  • Daily puzzles & quizzes
  • Manage your digital subscription
  • Manage your print subscription
  • Subscribe to the NZ Herald newspaper
  • Subscribe to Herald Premium
  • Gift a subscription
  • Subscriber FAQs
  • Subscription terms & conditions
  • Promotions and subscriber benefits
NZME Network
  • The New Zealand Herald
  • The Northland Age
  • The Northern Advocate
  • Waikato Herald
  • Bay of Plenty Times
  • Rotorua Daily Post
  • Hawke's Bay Today
  • Whanganui Chronicle
  • Viva
  • NZ Listener
  • Newstalk ZB
  • BusinessDesk
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • iHeart Radio
  • Restaurant Hub
NZME
  • About NZME
  • NZME careers
  • Advertise with NZME
  • Digital self-service advertising
  • Book your classified ad
  • Photo sales
  • NZME Events
  • © Copyright 2025 NZME Publishing Limited
TOP