WINNERS
KYLE JAMIESON
"He's fast, he's tall, he does things with the ball, Ja-mie-son, Ja-mie-son…"
The Clubrooms: A tall story - Kyle Jamieson is the biggest winner of the weekend
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Okay, it's barely an attempt at a terrace chant but this is a bowler worth singing songs about. He's played five-and-a-half tests and taken 30 wickets. He's quickly established himself as an indispensable part of New Zealand's finest fast-bowling quartet.
He's humble, can bat and gives quality, considered answers to questions he probably doesn't rate that highly.
It is early doors - he hasn't been bowled into the ground on the subcontinent yet and will soon face bowling specifically tailored to his batting flaws but bugger it, there are times it is worth getting over-excited about a singular sporting talent and this is one of them.
TEST CRICKET
There is not much else happening in the sporting world of great importance to most New Zealanders so the pickings are slim, but even so, there should be no apologies for the great game taking its place here.
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The finish at Mt Maunganui was just superb, and a worthy pay-off for what had been a test match based on attrition.
The contrast between the Mount and the first day and a bit at Hagley Oval has been stark and just demonstrates how no other sport can offer such shifts in cadence and rhythm. It's been a blast.
Meanwhile, across the Tassie, India only recovered from the embarrassment of being dismissed for 36 in the first test by winning the second in a canter.
In South Africa, Sri Lanka scored 396 in the first innings of the first test match and lost by an innings.
Test cricket is sometimes dull but rarely anything less than remarkable.
LOSERS
AUCKLAND CRICKET, AGAIN…
Clubrooms is going to keep banging this drum because the situation demands it. The fourth and final cricket test of the summer is taking place, like the three before it, on a proper cricket ground with proper boundaries (okay, so the boundary towards the groundsman's shed at Seddon Park is a little bit silly), where spectators can enjoy the action reclined on grass banks.
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These are the grounds people want to watch cricket at and the grounds where players want to play. Empty rugby grounds like Eden and McLean parks provide the sort of pictures nobody is interested in beaming around the world.
So, Auckland Cricket, what are you going to do? Cling on to the belief there is still some gravitas associated with playing at Eden Park? Cling on to the belief that your concrete jungle is a viable test venue, or get proactive about an alternative? There are close to two million people in the "super" city, the vast majority of whom will rarely have an opportunity to watch tests again unless something changes.
LIONS FANS
More than 30,000 Lions fans were anticipated to descend upon South Africa this year but the tea leaves seem to be pointing towards a cancellation.
The call could be made as early as this month as new, more virulent strains of Covid-19 criss-cross the globe. With South Africa months away from a potential vaccine roll-out, the obstacles in place for the tour to go ahead could be too wide to cross.
It has already been confirmed that there will be no tour without fans, as Lions tours, whether to South Africa, New Zealand or Australia, remain one of those rare sporting events where the fan experience remains paramount.
Are you for real mate? Just 12 months ago you were smashed 3-0 in Aussie! Pull your head out of the sand and realise that you've played the 8th ranked team in the world. Some high school teams will give the current WI Team a rum for their money! Anton Prinsloo, Queensland
Thanks Anton, and I like what you did with the "rum" for their money gag, presuming it was deliberate.
Without wanting to appear delicate, your anger might be best directed towards the ICC and the algorithm they use to determine rankings.
Yes, the New Zealand national cricket team was smashed 3-0 in Aussie. Personally I wasn't involved but the point stands. New Zealand were awful on that tour.
Not long before that Australia was smashed in the UAE by Pakistan, a place where New Zealand won a series shortly after. Weird how that happens, right? Some teams seem better suited to playing other teams. It creates, obviously, some strange rankings permutations and is all part of cricket's rich tapestry. Probably not worth getting worked up about.
Finally, yes I am for real.
There was nothing immediately attractive in this Mother Jones piece on the decimation of Minor League Baseball, including a slightly laboured drop-intro. But then it struck me that this was not only an essay on an often overlooked corner of the sporting universe, but also a commentary on any industry where owners and executives use a crisis to act like craven a***holes.
If the paragraph below resonates with you – and many will be able to replace the word baseball with the industry they work in – then click this link and read on.
"Paying lots of people to play baseball was a problem, in developmental and financial terms, to be solved by paying substantially fewer people to play less baseball, in substantially fewer places. It's a testament to the almost religious levels of self-absorption among Major League owners and executives that they didn't think (or perhaps just did not care) about just how awful it sounds to tell people, publicly, that baseball games are a wasteful byproduct of professional baseball, as opposed to the entire point of professional baseball."
JOHN F. REID
There was a lot to admire about Reid, not least his methodical approach to run-scoring at the highest level.
His test record was considerably better than his first-class record, which tells you two things: he knew his limitations and played within them, and conditions were tough for batting at Plunket Shield level in the 70s and 80s.
Reid was a fine player of spin at a time when most New Zealanders were clueless and tended to thrust their front pad in the direction of the ball. Reid worked out that that by defending with the bat you took the vagaries of umpiring largely out of play.
He was also a lovely guy who worked in jobs, like teaching, that enriched others' lives rather than his own.
He died last week aged 64 as one of New Zealand cricket's more under-appreciated figures.
TOMMY DOCHERTY
Docherty was one of football's more colourful characters at a time when characters flourished. A Glaswegian from the Celtic side of town, Docherty is probably best remembered for his spell as manager of Manchester United.
Docherty manipulated the media for his owns ends better than most, but that didn't mean he always appreciated the Fourth Estate.
"I've always said there's a place for the press but they haven't dug it yet," was one of his more famous quotes.
It's pretty simple. Keep watching New Zealand's enthralling series against Pakistan – it's got at least a day or two left so revel in it on Spark Sport from 11am. Then, on Thursday, switch to Sky for the third test between Australia and India from Sydney, starting 12.30pm.
