Supershorts: Stormin' Norma's greatest hits

The joys of cricket in London - Lord's cricket ground is this week dusted in snow. Photo / Supplied

Fever coach remains consistent in her attacks on the merits of the Silver Ferns.

The delightful Norma Plummer threw good cheer upon the graceful sport of netball this week, first throwing a few bouquets Irene van Dyk's way, before deciding to spread her love to everybody involved with netball on this side of the Tasman. She has form.

"I felt that the New Zealand team were a bunch of scrubbers," said Plummer of the 2003 world champion Silver Ferns.

"We didn't hand that [information] out to anyone, therefore the only way you can interpret that is that somebody has hand-passed it on," said Plummer in 2005, accusing New Zealand-born PhD students of infiltrating the Australian Institute of Sport, then leaking the Diamonds' secrets back to the Silver Ferns.

"I don't know how they can give her that honour," she said when van Dyk brought up her 100th test for New Zealand in 2009, which included three games against a World Seven side.

"Let's get serious, we could have a competition without you... They need us more than we need them," says Plummer of New Zealand's desperate need to cling to Australian netball's coat-tails. You, they? Does it really matter who is who when we're such good friends.

Where's Johnny?

Stormin' Norma can never be accused of keeping her thoughts to herself. Neither could Movement For Change spokesman John Parker ... until very recently. Not much more than a week ago we were warned that a similar fate to Sodom and Gomorrah was about to befall New Zealand Cricket offices unless they bowed to Parker's amorphous group of agitators. Why the sudden silence?

Hello John, are you out there?

Snow business

Snow on the field at Lord's, the Home of Cricket. That can only mean one thing. Yes, the first-class season is under way in Blighty.

Play of the week

Curious to see the Wednesday edition of ESPN's flagship show SportsCentre has cricket as their No1 Play of the Day. The presenter had the good sense to admit he knew nothing about the game but instead just marvelled as Ricky Ponting dived to his right to take a stunning "bare-handed" catch for the Mumbai Indians in the IPL.

Hard to cat-egorise

Here's a website to please bird-lover Gareth Morgan - Sports Balls Replaced with Cats. The Tumblr and Facebook page is exactly as advertised, with balls replaced by kittens, seriously. Have a look at Conrad Smith repelling Japanese defenders at last year's World Cup, all the time carefully cradling a wee moggy. Terrific stuff.

(Disclaimer: SuperShorts in no way endorses the actual playing of sport with cats.)

C'mon fallus

Germany's Nurburgring, one of world motor-racing's most iconic circuits, was defaced this week with - there's no delicate way of putting this - a painting of a giant penis.

German police called in the paint-strippers to remove the "artwork". They have tried to track down the culprits, but the painters are said to have too much of a "head" start. Boom boom.

Masters chef

Bubba Watson wouldn't reveal what he served up for the Champions Dinner, where last year's winner gets to choose the menu at a pre-Masters soiree. However an unimpressed Nick Faldo tweeted "@bubbawatson you had a year to decide on, grilled chicken, mashed potatoes, corn, macaroni & cheese!!! #HappyMeal #PlayLikeaChampion". This is the same Nick Faldo who in 1997 served up fish and chips and tomato soup.

Just another week in Turkish football

Bursaspor keeper Harun Tekin was banned for four games for punching a pitch invader in the head seven times. "It was a tough decision, but fans had been upsetting me. I apologise to all the public," he said.

Meanwhile, said Galatasaray coach Fatih Terim after their defeat to Real Madrid: "I don't like talking about referees, I never talk about them. But, the referee was awful." Warming to his task, Terim continued: "The referee was scared. He's not a referee for this level. Everyone says penalty, but the referee - he says nothing. He also gave lots of wrong decisions." Before adding: "However, referees aren't the subject of the conversation."