Supershorts: Sitting next to banished Jose Mourinho

17 year old Chelsea fan Sean Buxton gets a surprise when Jose Mourinho sits next to him in the stands at Stamford Bridge after the Chelsea manager had been ordered from the side of the pitch.

A teenage Chelsea fan has told of the "crazy'' moment he ended up sitting next to a banished Jose Mourinho during a match against Cardiff. Mourinho was ordered from the technical area by referee Anthony Taylor after protesting about apparent time-wasting. The Portuguese manager went up into the stands and sat down next to Sean Buxton, from Chelmsford in Essex. The 17-year-old said: "It was so intimidating, something I've never ever experienced before, it was crazy.''

Performance caught on film

Thanks to Rob Moody, an Australian who goes by the name Robelinda2, who has such a vast reservoir of cricketing video archives he is quickly becoming Supershorts' ultimate sports hero, we have this absolute gem.

During a recent one-day match, Queensland batsman Chris Lynn was mic'd up, and proudly pointed out his girlfriend in the crowd. The camera panned to Yvonne Sampson, a news anchor, at the exact same time she was re-enacting, how shall we put it, a mid-coital moment, for her friends.

The poor blokes in the commentary box had understandable difficulty keeping their equilibrium. You will too by going to, http://tinyurl.com/mrht58o.

Visitors come out on top

From the geniuses at Deadspin comes this tale of woe.

Independiente Santa Fe travelled to play Boyaca Chico in a Colombian Primera A soccer match. On arrival, they discovered they had forgotten their away kit. Boyaca Chico could have averted the crisis by agreeing to play in their away strip, but they refused. Nice guys. Independiente started in their training tops with numbers taped on the back. Too hot, way too hot. The numbers started peeling off immediately, so at halftime a trainer left the ground and bought a heap of counterfeit tops for less than $10 each and used a marker pen to write the numbers on the back.

Justice prevailed too, with the visitors beating the unsportsmanlike locals 2-0.

A model reminder

A must for all sailing fans. In a bid to recoup the billion or so bucks Lazza Ellison spent on installing a flux capacitor on to Oracle for races 12 onwards - why hasn't anybody broken that story? - Oracle Team USA are marketing these little desktop beauties.

"This AC72 Catamaran high-end desk model made of resin, photo-etched parts, acrylic base, North Sails fabrics comes with support and a plexiglas cover," says Abordage, who is proud to be the Preferred Model Supplier of Oracle Team USA.

At just US$495 ($588) plus postage and packaging, Steven Joyce and his Government cronies can afford about 10,000 of these reminders of Team NZ's second-placed finish.

NB: Models come without flux capacitor and are temporarily out of stock.

More than an earful

People who complained about noise from a San Francisco marathon got an earful of racy language.

When they called the city's government hotline to complain about Sunday's Nike marathon, they were incorrectly directed to a phone sex line.

City officials now say they were given the wrong number and are investigating how the mix-up occurred.

The phone sex number and marathon number differed only in their prefix: 800 versus 866.

City official Nancy Alfaro says the wrong number was given out for about half an hour before city officials were alerted. It's not clear how many people were misdirected.